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From drunk drivers to bumbling burglars, we count down 10 of the dumbest criminals of
all time
#10: The Magic Sky Driver: You can’t make this stuff up. In February of 2015, an Irish
woman got into a car accident. But it wasn’t her fault. Someone fell from the sky, took
over the steering wheel, crashed the car into another car, and magically disappeared before
police arrived. A breathalyzer test revealed she was well over the legal drinking limit.
She was sentenced to three months in prison and banned from driving for 18 months. Maybe
her invisible buddy can give her rides? By the way, the car she hit was parked.
#9: Worst Excuse Ever: Now here’s a shockingly naïve young man. 22-year-old James Blankenship
decided he would break into his mom’s house against her will. It seems the two had been
quarreling, and Blankenship was banned from the premises. When his mother caught him in
the act, he fled. A neighbor spotted him running and called the authorities. But that’s not
the best part. Blankenship reportedly told officers he thought you could only be arrested
for burglary at night. He was sentenced to 180 days in prison and received a $100 fine
for his troubles.
#8: Skipping a Step: While goofing around with his friends, a man somehow managed to
get his right hand caught in a pair of handcuffs. Unable to figure out how to break loose, he
wandered over to a police station to ask for help. They would’ve been happy to set him
free – if he wasn’t carrying marijuana in his pocket. He also had an outstanding
warrant for criminal mischief. Needless to say, he wound up with both hands in handcuffs
that day.
#7: Zombie Apocalypse: The zombies are coming, At least, that’s what a highly intoxicated
man going on a glass-breaking rampage seemed to think. He managed to damage the windows
of several businesses at a Brooklyn mini mall with a fire extinguisher before he was caught
by police. According to a witness, he was ranting about the zombie apocalypse and end
of the world. He was charged with criminal trespass in the third degree, trespassing,
and criminal mischief in the third degree.
#6: 28780 I'm Drunk: Coming in at number six, we have a lady with a very unique address.
Rhonda Oquist passed out in a driveway, but that driveway happened to belong to a state
trooper. She was drunk, too. Very drunk. When asked where she lived, she responded with
“28780 I'm Drunk.” Her blood alcohol level was over five times the legal limit. In fact,
it was the highest recorded in Minnesota between November 26 and December 31, 2014.
#5: Now That’s Lazy: A mailman decided he didn’t want to deliver the mail. Instead,
he buried over 150 tubs of it in a trench in his yard. What he couldn’t bury, he burned.
This was after he spent the entire day at a bar. According to someone living with him,
he had been keeping undelivered mail in sheds – about five years’ worth of letters.
He was sentenced to 130 hours of community service for his troubles.
#4: Worst Burglar Ever: It’s hard to get away with a crime when you answer the phone
of the business you’re robbing and give your name. That’s exactly what happened
to one man in Florida. As if that wasn’t enough, he only took a bottle of liquor and
some beer, and he returned to the scene the next day. An employee recognized him from
the surveillance video, and the rest is history. Maybe he should’ve taken a class on what
not to do when you’re breaking the law.
#3: Halloween Hooligans: If you’re looking to start trouble on Halloween, don’t assume
that person in a cop outfit is wearing a costume. That’s exactly what Andres Lopez did back
in 2013. He punched who he thought was another troublemaker in the face, but the person turned
out to be an officer. Lopez and three other men were arrested for disorderly conduct and
resisting a peace officer. They were later released on bond. They got their trick, but
they didn’t get a treat.
#2: #1 Dad: Some people just aren’t good parents, and one man could win the prize for
worst father. He decided he shouldn’t drive to the store for beer while drunk, so he had
someone else do it – his 10-year-old son. The car was going 90 miles an hour when it
crashed. The situation was bad enough, but police discovered the dad also had cocaine
in his system. The man was booked wearing a shirt saying “Buy this dad a beer.”
#1: Facebook Fool: At number one, we have a man who “liked” his own wanted poster
on Facebook. An image of him had been posted on the Cascade County Crime Stoppers Facebook
page, and it appears the temptation was too strong. He was later arrested.