>> WE ARE BACK.
NO.
TO STOP.
IT EATS INTO MY TIME.
NPR HOST PRATTLE WALL THEIR
EMPLOYEES TATTLE. PUBLIC RADIO LOVE SNITCHES LIKE
PUBLIC RADIO LOVE SNITCHES LIKE
THEIR TOTE BAGS LIKE STITCHES.
THIS IS ACCORDING TO AN NPR MEMO
OF TAMED BY THE NEW YORK POST BY
A PARENT COMPANY CRISCO, THE
MEMO READS, IF YOU NOTICE
SOMEONE WHO HAS FORGOTTEN THEIR
MASK, YOU MIGHT TELL THEM, HEY,
YOU FORGOT YOUR MASK.
NOW, IN A SANE WORLD YOU MIGHT
RESPOND YOU FORGOT TO SHUT UP
BUT THIS IS CRAZY TIMES, THEY
SAID THEY CAN LET A SUPERIOR
KNOW SO THEY CAN REMIND THAT
PERSON OR GET HR INVOLVED AND
REPEAT OFFENDERS COULD BE FIRED.
JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS, FOLKS.
THIS IS DOUBLY NICE CONSIDERING
DC DROPPED INDOOR MASK IN DATES,
BUT IF THEY DID WHAT PEOPLE LIKED, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE TO BEG
LIKED, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE TO BEG
FOR DONATIONS.
THE MEMO ALSO CLAIMS THAT
EMPLOYEES CUT UNMASKED SHOULD
SAY THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER
THAT THEY ARE VIOLATING THE RULE
.
AND THEN YOU BEND OVER A.
THERE IS EVEN A SYSTEM WHERE
EMPLOYEES CAN ANONYMOUSLY SNITCH
ON EACH OTHER.
THEY AREN’T ASKING THEIR
EMPLOYEES TO DO SOMETHING THEY
WOULDN’T ASK THEIR LISTENERS TO
DO.
>> FOR ALL OF US, THIS CONCLUDES
OUR BROADCAST DAY, REMEMBER TO
MASK UP AND MASK OFTEN.
>> WE ARE 100 FEET AWAY FROM
EACH OTHER AND WE’RE OUTSIDE,
LET’S GO.
WE HAVE DINNER RESERVATIONS.
COME ON.
PUT SOME PEP IN YOUR STEP.
YOU DON’T NEED A MASK FOR THAT.
>> THE LADY AT NPR NEVER TALKS BACK TO ME.
>> HIGH.
>> I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO GO WITH
THIS.
I FEEL LIKE A HYPOCRITE.
>> WE ARE RAGGING ON NPR, BUT
THIS PLACE IS CRAZY TO.
I MEAN, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO
HAVE COVID AND THEY WILL SEND
YOU HOME.
BUT ANYWAY, I DIGRESS.
>> YOU MIGHT HAVE COVID AT ANY
TIME, SO YOU SHOULD JUST STAY
HOME ALL THE TIME. JUST STAY HOME IN CASE YOU HAVE
JUST STAY HOME IN CASE YOU HAVE
COVID AND PEOPLE SNITCHING ON
OTHER PEOPLE.
>> I KNOW, WHAT IS THIS?
>> I DON’T KNOW, I THINK COVID
IS THE NEW WHERE THE STIGMA IS
WORSE THAN WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS.
>> THIS IS LIKE, IT WOULD BE
REALLY COOL TO BE AN UNDERCOVER
LIKE A 21 JUMP STREAK, BUT, YOUR
ONLY ROLE IS TO CATCH PEOPLE
WITHOUT THEIR MASKS.
YOU TRY TO TRAP THEM BY GETTING
THEM TO TAKE OFF THEIR MASK.
>> BUT THEN YOU’D HAVE TO BE AT
NPR ALL DAY.
NOT PARTICULARLY REASONABLE.
>> I LOVE THAT THEY HAD THEM
MEMO THAT SUGGESTED PASSIVE
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR.
THEY SUGGESTED YOU COULD GO UP
TO THEM AND SAY I THINK YOU
FORGOT YOUR MASK.
THAT IS THE WAY THEY WOULD DEAL.
I USED TO LISTEN TO NPR AND I
FEEL BAD FOR THEM BECAUSE I LIKE
THEM BECAUSE THEY TALKED SO
QUIET.
USED TO TURN ON MY RADIO AND MY
CAR AND I WOULD LISTEN TO THE
QUIET TALKING PEOPLE, BUT NOW IT SUCH A PARODY OF ITSELF, I FLIP
SUCH A PARODY OF ITSELF, I FLIP
IT ON OCCASIONALLY IN THE CAR IN
THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS YES.
BUT THEY SAY WILL BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS WITH THE PROFESSOR,
LISTEN TO TEN SECONDS OF JAZZ.
>> IT’S TRUE, IT TURNS OUT THE
PEOPLE WITH THE SOFTEST VOICES
HAVE THE HARDEST PARTS.
>> IT’S TRUE.
IT’S AMAZING THESE PEOPLE GET
OUT TAKE THE TAX MONEY BACK.
LOOK, THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS
THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A A LIST FOR
TWO SNITCH ON IN THE OFFICE LIKE
IF YOU BRING FISH TO THE OFFICE,
IF YOU BURN POPCORN IN THE
OFFICE, THERE’S A WHOLE LIST OF
THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD BE
ALLOWED TO SNITCH ABOUT AND TALK
TO HR ABOUT, THIS IS NOT ONE OF
THOSE FIT.
>> THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE
DONE IN OUR BATHROOMS.
>> YES, EXACTLY.
IT’S LIKE IT DEFIES ANY KIND OF
HUMAN.
IT’S LIKE A BIRD CAME IN THERE
AND LANDED AND TOOK A HUGE DUMP
IN THERE. >> I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT HAVE
>> I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT HAVE
CONFUSED ME. >> I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE
>> I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE
IN THERE ARE WHO WILL HOOPING.
EVERYBODY SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT I
MEAN.
>> WHO LIVE HOOPING OR WHO LIVE
HOOPING.
>> I BASICALLY JUST SCREWED THAT
UP.
ADAM, LAST WORD FOR YOU, DO YOU
THINK THAT THIS WILL EVER GO
AWAY?
>> NO, AND I FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW
IT’S CLEARLY NO LONGER ABOUT
SCIENCE OR KEEPING PEOPLE
HEALTHY, IT’S ABOUT FEELING
BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
IT’S MAKING YOURSELF FEEL
SUPERIOR WHICH IS WHY I THINK
PEOPLE LISTEN TO NPR IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
I ALWAYS FOR BAD FOR WOMEN.
ARE THERE ANY WOMEN HERE NAMED
KAREN?
SCREW THE KAREN’S.
JOKING.
NPR IS THE OFFICIAL STATION FOR
KAREN’S WHICH USED TO CALL THAT
NOSY NEIGHBORS, THE NEXT-DOOR
NEIGHBOR AND BEWITCHED, REMEMBER
HER, GLADYS.
GET THAT MAN OUT OF HERE.
BUT THAT’S WHAT IT IS, IT’S LIKE
WITH THE STATION IS, THAT IS
THEIR BRAND, OKAY, I’M GOING TO
SHUT UP NOW.
UP NEXT, DOES IDENTIFYING AS A LADY MAKE A CRIMINAL SMART?