Hey, this is Mat Boggs and today I want to talk to you about what do you do when you
feel hopeless? And this is a bit more of an intense video and I received this email from
someone who follows me and sent me this email. And she writes, “I just turned 70 years
old. Although I look younger, yes, I have issues with not looking young enough and I
haven’t been in a relationship for almost nine years. I felt this sadness listening
to the phone call because I recently have been thinking it would be nice to have a partner
but thinking it can’t happen. I failed [the force?] so many times, et cetera, et cetera,
and there is something inherently wrong with me. I’m not really lovable. Honestly, I
don’t know if I would even know love if it hit me in the face, and I don’t know
if I’ve ever really loved or been loved. I’ve been married once before and had two
significant relationships, but I spent most of my life single. My question for you is,
and I know you’ll say, ‘Of course there’s hope. Of course there’s hope,’ but can
I ever really believe this? I’ve taken so many transformational programs, I’ve read
so many books on relationships and codependency, et cetera, and I’m still not in the relationship
that I want. Please give me some words. Donna.” Well, I’m really appreciative of Donna for
sending that in because just sending a message like that takes courage. And maybe you’ve
had times in your life where you felt like it’s hopeless, you felt like you’ve read
the books, you felt like you’ve taken the courses, you felt like you’ve poured your
heart and soul into this thing called relationship, this thing called love, and you’re still
empty-handed. You’re looking around in your life and you still don’t have the relationship
that you want. And so the question becomes at this moment what do you do? Do you yield
to the part of you that says, “There’s no hope, it’s not in the stars for me, maybe
it’s never going to work out. Maybe I’m destined to be single?” Or do you claim
a different thought? Do you claim a different part of yourself? A part of yourself that
actually does believe in hope? Because here’s the deal: you wouldn’t be watching this
video if there wasn’t at least some part of you, maybe some corner of your heart that
still believes that it’s possible. Donna wouldn’t have sent me that message if she
didn’t still believe that there was some part of her that believed it was possible
for her. And as human beings, it’s really easy to
yield our power to the hopelessness, to yield our power to the paradigms in our minds that
are saying, “It won’t happen, it can’t happen for you,” trying to keep you single.
And on top of that, these old beliefs and these old thoughts that remind you of all
the circumstances in your life like, “Look, you haven’t been dating anyone for nine
years. You’ve had all these bad dates. You’re too old. Look at your circumstances. You’re
still single. You have yet anything to show for all the effort that you’ve put in.”
The paradigm loves to remind you of that and so you have a choice at this moment what you’re
going to do with that information. One of the most challenging and one of the
most powerful moves we can make as human beings is to remember the truth in the face of opposing
facts. What does that mean? That means that, although the facts of your life might be speaking
to the situation of being single, situation of not having love, the situation that it’s
been years since you’ve had love, yes, those are the facts, but it’s not the truth of
who you are. The truth is that there is a power [breathing? 03:31] you that is far more
powerful than any circumstances, any condition. I don’t care what it is, how long it’s
been there, your history does not determine your destiny. But your choice is which side
are you going to give power to? Are you going to give power to the fact that it’s been
there this long, that you’ve been single, that it hasn’t worked out? Or are you going
to give power to the creative force in you to be able to create whatever it is that you
want? The truth is that if you have that longing for love, you know what that is? So your longing
of love is the echo, it’s the counterpoint to your partner’s longing for love. That’s
the connection point, that that is possible for you, but only if you partner with your
point of power within. There’s a great story about an elder grandfather
walking through a path and his grandson is walking with him and they’re walking in
silence for a long time until the grandfather looks down at his grandson and says, “You
know, I feel like there are two wolves inside of me and they’re fighting. And one wolf
is fighting for resentment and fear and hatred and hopelessness, and the other wolf is fighting
for good and courage and possibility and they’re at odds with one another.” And the grandson
says, “Well, grandfather, which one is going to win?” And he goes, “Well, that’s
easy, grandson. The one that wins is the one that I feed.” And I love that. You’ve
got to stand guard at the gate of your mind. If you want love, when you hear thoughts of
discouragement, thoughts of doubt, “I’m too old, it’s been too long, it’s not
in the cards for me, it’s not going to happen,” when you hear those voices of doubt, you have
to say no to those voices, stand guard at the gate of your own mind, and partner with
the thoughts of possibility, that, “Yes it can happen. Yes, it can be real for me.
Yes, I’m moving in this direction.” And two things that you want to do that can help
fuel and feed those thoughts. Number one, you want to have a mentor in your
life that can help guide you because every single one of us, we can’t see our own blind
spots. That’s why they’re blind spots. It’s really hard to see the picture when
you’re the one in the frame. So you want to be around someone who can help guide you,
who has done two things: number one, manifested these kind of results in their life, whatever
it is that you want, they’ve achieved those results, and they’ve helped other people
do it as well. You want someone in your life like that. And number two, you want to surround
yourself with people who believe in you, in your power, in your possibility, in the life
that you are creating in your life. You want to immerse yourself in that environment. And
remind yourself that, “Yes, it is possible for me,” because again, you wouldn’t be
watching this video if there wasn’t that power inside of you connecting you to hope,
connecting you to something amazing in your life. Say no to the part of you that doubts,
say yes to the part of you that believes, commit to that part, move yourself forward,
and you’ll start to see a whole new set of results unfold for yourself.
So I hope this serves you. If you like this video, please share it with those that you
care about. If you’re not subscribed to this channel, make sure you get subscribed
so you can get the latest and greatest videos about how to give and receive love and expand
our lives. And, as always, there’s a link in the description of this video with some
resources that will support you in attracting the relationship that you want.
And what I’d love for you to do at this moment: post a comment below this video, and
here’s what I would love to hear. What voices of negativity, doubt, and discouragement try
to get at you, right? Name those voices? What is their message for you? You might not be
good enough, of you might be too old or you might not be pretty enough. What are those
voices? I know it takes courage to actually say in public what those voices are, but my
encouragement to you is to go ahead and do that anyway and then replace it. What are
you saying no to and then what belief, what thought or idea are you replacing it with
that you’re going to say yes to? Put that comment below this video. I love to read and
support and hold energy for you as you move forward creating a life that you love. Thanks
so much for watching. I look forward to seeing you again soon.