Welcome back to the show
hey are you tired of hearing how I felt about the debate?
me too, let's watch some other people have feelings about the debate. Mike Rubens,
Ashley Nicole Black and Allana Harkin have more.
(MIKE VOICEOVER) We wanted to know what both Americas were thinking
while watching the debate, so we sent Ashley Bicole Black to a Democratic
viewing party at the Stonewall Inn, the historic gay bar in the West Village
while Allana Harkin visited with Republicans at Tonic, the non-historic
sports bar in Times Square, address 140 Douchebag at the corner of Bridge
and Tunnel. At both parties, viewers had done their prep
The rumor is, I heard that
Hillary Clinton would have like an earpiece to have assistance with these debates.
(ALLANA) because of her lack of knowledge in policy?
Correct.
If Donald Trump were a drink, what would be in it?
Uhh.
Piss.
So I won't try that one
and what do you think that Hillary will be wearing tonight?
a pantsuit, a bulletproof vest, and a catheter.
Why would she be wearing a catheter?
I believe she has some very extreme health issues that she's hiding from the public for obvious reasons
I kind of sympathize and empathize with her plight, but she's probably wearing a catheter. She's a weak
old sick woman and she doesn't have the strength or the stamina to rule a
country in this day and age.
(ALLANA) I don't think that's how people use empathy, you might want to work on your empathy skills
What does Hillary have to do to win tonight?
I think she has to call him out when he is lying,
not in a harsh way but in a subtle way, I think you should go up there and
I think he should go up there and
crush her, that's what he should do. Crush her.
(MIKE VOICEOVER) That's right, crush her like the bad guy in an early nineties action movie
(MIKE VOICEOVER) hey that's the same guy! no seriously, that's literally the same guy
(MIKE VOICEOVER) Bradley Morris, in American kickboxer One, the stirring story of a fighter with his
(MIKE VOICEOVER) own Walkman and a lululemon original who -- never mind. The debates began, cheers erupted
as the candidates came onstage. Trump sporting his trademark resting bitch
face
Hillary, calm and steady, despite being weighed down by 14 pounds of Kevlar and
a bag of urine hanging from her belt.
(ASHLEY) How do you think it's going?
No one would talk to Ashley during the tension of the debate, which had sucked all the gay joy
out of the room and transformed this poor man into a human GIF generator
(MIKE VOICEOVER) At that moment across town at the Republican watch party, sorry across town at the
(MIKE VOICEOVER) Republican watch party...
He is kicking her ass.
(ALLANA) He's just crushing her.
Yeah he's crushing her, because his facts and his
debate style is better is better than she is. He's crushing her. He's crushing her.
(MIKE VOICEOVER) Meanwhile...
(MIKE VOICEOVER) And your response, Republicans?
She is a career politician and she promises things like oh, we'll have growth we'll
have all these things, and he has an actual plan and, like, a plan for it so,
I mean it's easy to get-- (ALLANA) I think I'm having trouble hearing up here because I
I, I'm missing all the plans
what has he said specifically that's a plan?
Sorry.
(MIKE VOICEOVER) when it was all over, our two Americas continued the debate
I think Trump pulled it off.
you think Trump pulled it off?
Yes I do.
I don't think he spoke a single coherent sentence though, that's the thing, like you couldn't apply grammar to
his rambling
Oh so you are talking about grammar and rambling, I don't think he rambled at all
So what issue can you repeat that he spoke to clearly?
(talking over each other) Dude, you make no sense, I'm sorry to tell you
I guess I don't make sense because I'm speaking in complete
sentences
Oh okay I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, so you're talking in complete sentences too (talking over each other)
(talking over each other)
I'm sorry dude you sound like an idiot
you are willing to cast a vote for an
individual president who sounds like an idiot?
He won on every single substantive issue, sorry to tell you
The thing is, Mr. Trump came into this argument looking down on Hillary Clinton because she's a woman
There was no argument dude, he schooled her! There was so argument!
Sorry, we have to wrap this up, you can go now. Bye. Nice talking to you.
(MIKE VOICEOVER) Quick, let's go to the Full Frontal spin room
I mean this guy was a fucking moron, come on man --Yeah, Ididn't have a choice though he said
that Trump won on every single issue and I just find that really hard to even --
(MIKE VOICEOVER) Ah, one round down just two more to go
we'll be right back