(S) So what you're saying is, Soy un Dorito! Yoghurt?
* W.T.F. Music * (Subtitles by Jamie Cakes/ Jamie Trinh)
(M) We were browsing the grocery store near our house, and we saw these yoghurt flavored Dorito chips, and we bought them right away because this looks absolutely disgusting and the "Yoghurt" text is SO ridiculous.
(S) I like how Martina says it's a grocery store, but it's not actually a grocery store. It's a convenience store that we went to, but for a lot of the time for us it's actually a grocery store because it was so busy when we went there.
(M) Listen, we went for a LONG walk... (S) We did. (M)...and we were so desperately hungry. We should be definitely like, sad. Hobo (homless person) music happening, and we didn't have any choice but to eat junky food. (M&S) Junky food, junky food!
(S) When we saw this we thought, "Yoghurt Doritos, WHAT?!"
(S) I mean, for sure we got to do a W.T.F. on this! (M) Mmm hmm.
(M) We just grabbed it with out looking, we just saw the picture, and then we got home.
(M) We read the text carefully in the corner, and what does it say, Simon? (S) Cool Ranchy! These are supposed to be cool ranch Doritos!
(M) Okay, so Doritos, cool ranch flavor, has not come to Korea.
(S) NO!
(M) So far, the first flavor to come to Korea was Nacho Cheese.
(S) That's why a lot of people keep on sending us Cool Ranch Doritos, because we can't get them here.
(S) But now, we might actually have it here, except it's called yoghurt flavor for some reason.
(M) It also is a YELLOW bag. (S) Yeah. (M) But cool ranch is supposed to be blue.
(S) It's branded as BLUE!
(M) And it's branded as yoghurt.
(M) Like, don't you feel slightly upset and worried that Korea is branding ranch as yoghurt? (S) I don't know, I have the most confused boner at the moment, but I don't know how, what I'm supposed to feel.
(M) Especially because yoghurt in Korea isn't even savory. Like, yoghurt is really sugar sweet.
(S) Sugar sweet like it's liquid, you drink it.
(S) You don't, like, scoop it.
(M) No, they have scooping yoghurt, too. But all...
(S) But it's all mostly drink-able.
(M) OK, no it's not mostly drink-able. (S) YES!
(M) Totally, I disagree with you.
(S) Majority of yoghurt in Korea is for drinking.
(M) No.
(S) YES!!!
(M) It's like 50/50! What do you do with your free time? Go to the grocery store and be like, "Hmm, majority of the yoghurt here seems to be for drinking."?
(M) Look, I'm just trying to get out a simple point. Even the cup yoghurt, if you buy the "plain" cup yoghurt it still has like, 8-12 grams of sugar.
(M) There's no such thing as PLAIN yoghurt. (S) WHAT?!
(S) I want to eat this so bad!
(M) Alright. (S) OK here we go.
(M) You're salivating like the piggy that you are. (S) I am SO excited about this!
(S) No duckee, you have nails, let me do this for you.
(S) Get that out of your mouth! *TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE* (M) *Growling* *Coughing*
(M) *Baby crying* Never touch my nose!
(S) It's a sensitive environment.
(M) Well you've just ruined my nostril zone. (S) Sorry.
(M) OK, let me smell it. *Dramatic music*
(S) Boo hoo hoo hoo! It doesn't smell like happiness.
(M) First of all, this is the size of the bag, this is how much chip we got. They're not even broken, they're in, like, perfect condition.
(M) And they just smell like corn. (S) I know.
(S) Lemme try. Where are the BLUE FLAKES on this? This like totally whites!
(M) This doesn't smell anything like Cool Ranch!
(S) OK, let's do this. (M) Alright, here we go.
*Drumroll*
(S) WHAT? I kind of taste it, it's a bit too sweet.
(M) Sour Cream And Onion?
(S) That's sugary. (M) This is definitely tastes sugary, but the corn chips in Korea are more "corny".
(M) *Gibberish*
(S) Tastes like it has a glaze of sugar.
(S) With a bit of ranch seasoning?
(S) Korean people, this is NOT Cool Ranch! I just spit out a giant chip chunk.
(S) Spudgy, come here boy. (M) NO! (S) Hahahahaha! (M) It's disgusting!
(S) What? (M) They're so gross.
(S) That's what dogs are, dogs are already vacuum cleaners.
(M) OK. Pick up a chip, and we're gonna lick it to see if we can get the flavors from it.
*Licking sounds*
*Surprised music*
(M) It tastes saltier when you lick it, so maybe the chip itself is actually sweeter.
(S) Very, very.
(M) Everybody take out your nutritional facts and let us know.
(M) For 30 grams of it, it has 21 grams of sugar, WOAH!
(S) Is that the same as your's, I'm not sure. read the back of your Doritos bag right know you're eating them as your watching this.
(M) 21 grams of sugar. That seems like a lot, doesn't it?
(S) Oh, I'm so disappointed...
(M) I'm sorry, honey.
(S) I thought this was gonna be the real deal.
(M) No, you know what, this is definitely sour cream.
(S) Yeah. (M) This is Sour Cream and Onion, and it's the sweeter side. (S) Sour cream sugar.
(M) I'm gonna place this chip... (S) Put that back in here. (M) ...over here. Lucky for Leigh and Soo Zee...(S) Soo Zee! (M) ...we brought them an extra bag so they could try it themselves.
(S) BONUS ROUND!
(S) We also got this "Extreme Jalapeno" flavor we got here.
(M) But it says it has a tomato and basil and jalapenos on it.
(S) Well we'll see.
(M) OK, let's find out. (S) I'm hoping it's gonna be like sweet chili heats.
(M) Yeah, Sweet Chili Heat is an awesome flavor. (S) I-I swear I've never felt so much of a tough, like, bag of, like, air.
(S) And like usually, like, potato chips are easy to open for people with, like, delicate fingers.
(S) Okay.
(S) Aw man this smells like sugar already.
(M) Oh my God, that smells disgusting!
(S) Let's do this. (M) I've never been turned off from a smell, like, a chip smell so badly.
(S) C'mon.
(S) You wanted to do this part.
*Drumroll*
(S) By extreme tomato do they mean, like, spaghetti sauce?
(M) Old man shoes?
(S) This is spaghetti sauce.
(M) I got a little bit of burn at the back of my throat. (S) Did you now?
(S) I'm-I'm definitely going for the yoghurt flavored ones instead.
(M) Okay, you know what this smells like?
(S) What? (M) There was a subway sandwich sauce, it was called, like, southwest sauce i think. The smell of it and the taste of it was as though you were eating old shoes.
(M) And that's what this tastes like.
(M) That's totally unenjoyable, but there's a lot more chips in here. (S) Yes, they were more generous with the portions.
(M) Also, the chips in Korea are definitely way, um, bumpier. (S) Yeah. (M) Like they have more texture. (S) So much more texture. (M) Than the ones from NOrth America.
(M) Maybe they're made with actual corn.
(M) Oh, there's 50% corn in here apparently. Well, those were both super disappointing.
(S) That was the not Wonderful Treasure Find. (M) No.
(M) Maybe someone else will find something similar to this and find it enjoyable.
(M) I'm gonna go get some water, and I'm gonna gargle. (S) I'm gonna vomit.