To be a gender minority and to know that there are people in the world who don't want me to survive
They don't want me to thrive. They don't want me to find love and to move through the world
They don't want me to access health care. They don't want me to work in the military
you know all of these things and
Sometimes I feel like that's the place where I experience dysphoria a lot is kind of this like pressure around being like other. Hello
I'm Charlie and welcome to authentic mental health the channel that offers advice and friendly support within that like-minded community
With daily uploads on mental health self-help and self-improvement today's videos coming up right after this
Ostracized from across society just got to suffer for my little anxiety. Please help me. I say quietly through gritted teeth and
Today I'm excited to announce that I'm sat here in LA in
Cassandra James's house. Thank you for having me today. I begin with so Cassandra is an actress. That's correct
That's correct. Yeah, and in this video, we're just going to be discussing mental health and what it's like living in LA and
Being an actress. Yeah, so I'm excited to have you well, thank you for having me. I'm really excited to
talk all things mental health and consciousness and to really share some of my
experiences as a woman as a trans woman as a person of color and to really kind of um, just give away some of my
my
Stories, I guess yes. Yeah dysphoria. Yes. Yes
Because that was a question on the Instagram someone that's this claim dysphoria is pretty fresh
Right. Yes the vocab section of the video, right? Yes or something. Yes that effect
Dysphoria gender dysphoria
Is are the many ways in which?
trans people feel
miss up the misalignment of the gender they were assigned yet for and
They're authentic Jennifer. Yes, so
The dysphoria we hear about the most is genital dysphoria. Okay, so this idea that
there and and there are many trans folks who feel repulsed very
Hurt and triggered by the genitals that they were
Warned a boring idea and
for people with extreme genital dysphoria
sexual reassignment surgery
sexual
confirmation surgery gender confirmation surgery
There's lots of different language around it becomes essential for a person's well-being
It is the most common form of dysphoria that we talk about in the media
however, I think not all trans people have
that form of dysphoria
And I think that that's really important to acknowledge that there are a lot of trans folks who don't want to have surgery
And it does not mean that they are not trans. Yes. It doesn't mean that they don't have dysphoria in other ways
Again it goes back to that that idea of like the soul and kind of feeling trapped in your body
You can be trapped in all kinds of ways and in all kinds of places and also
societally, you know
I do think that the gender roles and the way that we kind of want to be perceived in the world it absolutely
Plays into dysphoria. I
You know, I was super dysphoria bout my body hair and facial hair, okay, you know, okay that was like
Super triggering for me. I needed seeing it on myself. I used to like tweeze my whole face
Before I could get laser. Yeah, cuz it just it just made me it betrayed something
You know, it felt like a betrayal that might but my own body was betraying me
Yeah, because it didn't feel like right didn't feel correct
Your height can create dysphoria for you, you know, I think that but again it's so much dysphoria is related to the binary
and so I really think that
Dysphoria is unique to each person and each person's relationship to the binary. Yeah, I think that that's really
kind of nuanced the very important because a
trans there could be a trans man who like
Wears needs to wear lips in his shoes because he feels that his height really portrays
The the gender he was assigned at Birth. Yes
but there also may be a trans man who is
comfortable and thrilled to be
Short yes, so I think when you're talking about dysphoria when you're asking trans people about their dysphoria
It's best not to make assumptions and I think it's best to let the trans person express
to you
the ways in which their dysphoria manifests I
Experienced what I call institutional dysphoria a lot. It's this idea that trans people are still
Seen and valued as less than in the world and there are days when that gets really
hard to know to be a gender minority and to know that there are people in the world who don't
Want me to survive? They don't want me to thrive. They don't want me to find love and to move through the world
They don't want me to access health care. They don't want me to work in the military
you know all of these things and
Sometimes I feel like that's the place where I experience dysphoria a lot is kind of this like pressure around being like other
More like a freak or like, you know kind of different because as a trans woman who passes and as a trans woman who?
Has for the most part been really excited to be quite binary
Sometimes I feel like I kind of
Can jump in and then something will remind me that oh
You know what? You're not normal you're trans and it can be kind of like that's where my dysphoria manifests
Can be a lot in
dating and the way that
men speak to me or
You know
Yeah, it just it Phyllis goes on but that's the way that my dysphoria manifests predominantly mean
I sometimes I'm very self-conscious about being succeed
My voice makes me very disparate. I did I feel like it betrays me so often so, you know
day by day
Mm-hmm. Well you just mentioned about dating. Mm-hmm if we can touch from that just for just a couple of minutes, of course
Everyone always wants to know about the dating lives and transpose what it is. Is it difficult? Is it easy?
What what's it like what's your works your experience? It's a jungle out there kids. I mean, I think that I
can't talk about dating without acknowledging my privilege and I
Mean, you know
if I
Didn't
Want to or didn't feel it was important to disclose
This one piece of my identity, right?
You know, my transduce is only one piece of me
And I also really like to cook and I love to watch movies and things, you know
there are other I'm an actress and a storyteller and
a daughter and a sister
You know, but if I were to if I if I wanted to I could choose not to disclose my transness
Okay, and for the most part, you know honest on an app when we're swiping. Yes, you know, I might have
access
to
The dating pool simply by passing in a way that someone who was more visibly trans might not
That's a that's a privilege, you know the idea that I can even access
You know
that world
You know compared to so many other people. I think it's like I
Hope you know that's important to acknowledge. Yes
um, that being said I can really only speak from I experienced my own personal experience and
I've definitely experienced transphobia. I've definitely experienced I mean
people are so obsessed with our bodies and
I always say to people on apps that like wanna get like really invasive so quickly or like sexual
Or like very reductive in a very fetishy way. I always go like
But like what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Like I don't even know if I like you let it alone whether we're gonna get naked. Yeah
Yeah, you know what? I mean? So I just sometimes I feel like and I think that that affects
Everybody I think that that's not a trans issue. I think that dating has become so
like fast now with social media and with with it like, you know our
devices and things it's like
Coffee like
Do what, you know, like let's meet and put on, you know old school
you know, I think that I think that
When you're when you're thinking about dating someone who's trans it's like
That they're trans Ness is often like just one piece of who they are and wouldn't wouldn't it be
Exciting and thrilling to get to know a person
who they
completely are
Instead of focusing on one piece of them and negating a connection and I thought it's where I've been
kind of really disappointed
You know
I've met someone who didn't necessarily
Know that I was trans and we really hit it off and it's amazing
We have this amazing connection and then you know, they asked for my Instagram and they see that I'm trans on my Instagram
And yes
and then they just like totally ghost me or stop talking or unfollow me or block my number and it's like but
we just hung out or we just we were just flirting or we were just having a great connection, you know, like
Also, you don't you don't know what my body looks like. You don't know what like, how do you even know?
That speaks to the larger issue around there is a lot of stigma around being
trans
Dating someone who's trans. I like the word trans amorous
Okay, I think it's kind of a romantic word. I
think
that
someone who is open to
Has in the past
enjoys continues to date
flirt with sleep with marry
Someone who is trans. Mmm-hmm. I would invite you to use the word trans amorous because I think it's a little less
Like it's it takes a it takes the focus off of our bodies
Yeah more about like, you know, you can you can love a trans heart. Yes. So I like that word
and I think that I think that we need to
Work very the SIS world
This is gender world needs to work very hard to dismantle the shame that's associated with being trans amorous
because we're awesome and we are lovable undateable and
the men and women and
Non-binary folk who love us, you know need to feel safe to do so
Because when they don't feel safe to do so
It creates shame and that shame is often projected on to us and our bodies
Ostracize tomokazu society just to suffer for my little anxiety. Please help me
I say quietly through gritted teeth and a fight for sobriety and there is a lot of violence that we experience as trans folks and
Yeah, absolutely
full honors
Murder and things like that, really?
Yes was the transpannic defense is a legally admissible
form of defense in court if a man sleeps with dates a trans woman
Okay, and kills her what I have a lot of rules like no cars on the first date. Uh-huh
No
like I said my roommate my
Like the phone number and their picture and my where we're going and if you don't hear from me in two hours
you know like I I take
Precautions because you know Ida to keep you safe to keep that sauce