Hello. I'm Samantha Bee, welcome to Full Frontal. Alright, let's do this.
On Friday, Donald Trump insisted that five urban teens
wrongly imprisoned for rape and
exonerated by DNA evidence and the
confession of the real rapist 14 years
ago are still guilty.
Oh, and he also did something that upset
Republicans. Warning: you're going to hear
the p-word, and trust me, that word isn't "presidential".
oh yeah, I'm going in on this like a bitch.
That 2005 Access Hollywood tape
wasn't just lewd remarks, Trump was
literally explaining a time-tested
strategy for sexual assault. In fact, "take
a tic-tac and grab them by the pussy" is
the closest thing to a plan Donald Trump
has described this entire election.
But the vilest on the tape isn't Trump boasting
about snatch-snatching or aggressively
pursuing an adulterous hookup or
thinking "take her furniture shopping" is
some sort of super sexy foreplay,
it's the way these two drooling hyenas
treated actress Arienne Zooker, whose only
mistake was doing her job and greeting
Let's stop that hostile work
environment training module here and
discuss what we've seen in less than a
minute. These two leering dildos turned
their rape culture banter into a rape
culture power move that demeans and
violated Zooker in ways she is only now
finding out about. And we know this is
shocking for most normal men, but
everyone I know has had some entitled
testosterone monster grabbed her like a
human bowling ball
" come here honey, check please". That video
got little Bushy suspended from his job.
I'm comfortable with that, even though he was just
following the lead of a bullying
cold-hearted alpha male who was
completely in charge. Which is kind of a
Bush family trait. Anyhoo, while the rest
of us were hammering plywood over our
p-words, Trump's advisors typed an apology
into a teleprompter, shoved their boy in a
chair and said "read it"
I've never said I'm a perfect person
stop. I'm gonna roll the dice and say the
guy who modeled his home after the
Vatican rumpus room has claimed infallibility before.
Have you ever asked
God for forgiveness?
that's a tough question.
why do I have to go repent, why do I have to ask for
forgiveness if you're not making
mistakes
Yeah, Trump doesn't ask for anything and
that includes permission before putting
his unwelcome tic-tac rusted mouth hole
on a female he barely knows. But I'm
sorry, you were sounding out words like a
first grader with a head injury?
This is nothing more than a distraction
from the important issues we are facing
today. I've said some foolish things, but
there's a big difference between the
words and actions of other people
Bill Clinton has actually abused women
Stop! Jesus Christ, Donald, who is advising
you on how to deal with your misogyny
crisis?
Let's also remember that one of the men
who is advising Donald crop is Roger Ailes.
Of course. Roger Ailes, of the esteemed PR firm, Ailes,
Cosby, Polanski, and Gibson.
I hear they've got a friend on the court.
Trump delegated the whole Bible-y forgiveness
angle to the only surrogate not hiding behind a hay bale
(GIULIANI) gosh almighty, you know
he who hasn't sinned throw the first stone, here.
(TAPPER) I will gladly tell you,
Mr. Mayor, I have never said that, I have
never done, that I'm happy to throw a
stone
I don't know any man -- I have not been in
locker rooms, have been a member of the
fraternity -- I have never heard any man
ever brag about being able to maul women
because they get away with it. Never.
poor Jake Tapper, you'd be testy too if
you just had to spend the day as a human pussy thesaurus.
Grab them by the vagina
grab them by the crotch.
Grab them by the -- I'm not allowed to say this on MSNBC.
Grab them by the... and he uses a
word that begins with P, which is a slang
term for a woman's genitalia
Grabbing women by their private parts
Grabbing women by their kitty cat
The p-word, forgive me
Grab a woman's genitals.
Grab them by the...
I can't say it on television
Ugh, it must be so hard to make 24 hours of television
without saying the wordscunt, snatch
cooter, silk purse, spicy taco, lady pocket, waikanaloa, hoo-hoo,
trim, vajayjay, bearded clam, front bottom
nether regions, sin grotto, chocha, red
lobster, beaver, fur-burger, yoni,
downstairs retreat, honeypot, inner sanctum,
ugar walls, peach blossom, lady
treasure, roast-beef curtains, grey
Gardens, oh, and I almost forgot the most important one: box. Well, that was literally a vagina
monologue
we'll be back with more after this word
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