Do you classify yourself as an introvert, or an extrovert?
If you’re like many people, you probably feel like you don’t really fit into either
category.
The two personality types are polar opposites of one another, but the accepted school of
thought has always been that you are either one or the other.
While the more outspoken and socially comfortable people who exude confidence are easy to peg
as extroverts, and those who isolate themselves, talk less, and prefer to stay out of the limelight
clearly lean towards introversion, there’s a far more common personality type that falls
in the middle of the introverted-extroverted spectrum.
Carl Jung popularised the introvert and extrovert terms in the 1920s, and made reference to
a third and extensive middle group.
This middle group consists of the ambiverts.
Can someone really be both an introvert and an extrovert?
Well, they can display traits from both, yes!
Carl Jung as well as Isabel Briggs Myers – from the well known Briggs Myers test – both
proposed that everyone has an introverted and an extroverted side, one having more predominance
than the other.
And Carl Jung himself said “There is no such thing as a pure introvert
or extrovert.
Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum”.
An ambivert is defined as someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion,
but falls close to the middle of the spectrum.
In many ways, ambiverts have the best of both worlds!
Some people don’t fit into just one of these categories.
You might have some great nights out at parties or festivals, surrounded by thousands of people,
but feel a great sense of relief when a friend cancels a lunch or coffee catch up and you
no longer have to go outside.
Introvert and Extrovert aren’t labels, but the extremes on either end of a spectrum.
According to many theories of personality, everyone has some degree of both introversion
and extroversion.
However, people often tend to lean more towards one end of the spectrum.
Ambiverts have introverted and extroverted traits, but neither are dominant.
They typically slide up & down the spectrum depending on the situation, and the people
around them.
Ambiverts will defend both their personal time, as well as their social time.
When asked whether you would rather go to a party or read a book, you might be inclined
to answer: “depends on the party and the book”.
This is a perfectly normal response, and doesn’t necessarily mean that you fall completely
in the middle of the spectrum.
Even the most withdrawn introvert might choose to go to a party with 2 or 3 close friends
rather than reading a boring book.
And an extroverted party goer may want to take some down time to relax and check out
the latest best-selling novel.
People are just far more complex than the way we polarise ourselves.
The most shameless party goer has their insecurities, while the quiet one at work can be completely
wild out at night.
When we’re in a comfortable environment, we’re just more likely to be ourselves.
The freedom with ambiversion comes in finding both introverted and extroverted worlds satisfying
and rewarding.
I think author Daniel Pink summed it up best when he said that it’s like they’re bilingual.
They have a wider range of skills and can connect with a wider range of people in the
same way someone who speaks English and Spanish can.
The majority of us have traits of both personalities, but our behaviour is driven by our interactions
with a situation.
There are locations and situations that you might thrive in, and there are others that
completely drain you, which you should avoid.
Introverts generally want to pull away from stimulation and interaction to recharge, while
extroverts seek out people and activity, where ambiverts could go either way depending on
the situation.
Ambiverts know when to be outgoing, such as at work happy hour, and when to be reflective,
like during an important meeting.
It shows a greater degree of flexibility.
If they are in a social situation, they are going to respond to it accordingly.
That doesn’t mean ambiverts will love every social situation and all alone time.
They need to understand what mix of introvert & extrovert they are and pursue what they
enjoy.
People can also affect where we fall on the extroversion scale.
Some people might see you as an introvert, and others as an extrovert.
To different people, you may seem to be different things.
Ambiverts process information best when they process internally and externally.
While they need time and space to process things on their own, they also need people
who they can trust to process things with externally.
Some pros or benefits to being an ambivert include:
-Ambiverts are more flexible – equally comfortable in situations where the introvert feels comfortable
or where the extrovert is having a good time.
- Due to this, some refer to ambiverts as more emotionally stable because they don’t
come across too high or too low.
- People with this trait may have some personal & professional advantages for being adaptable.
- Ambiverts are intuitive – This quality serves them well in life.
They know when to speak, and when to sit back and listen.
- Ambiverts love interacting with people, but in a purposeful way.
- Also in a study, ambiverts were shown to achieve greater sales productivity over the
extroverts and introverts, as they naturally enagaged in a flexible pattern of talking
and listening.
They expressed sufficient assertiveness to close the sale, but were more inclined to
listen to the customer’s needs.
- Balance is the defining characteristic of ambiverts.
They have both introvert and extrovert traits, but in balance.
The drawback to being an ambivert, is that it can sometimes be difficult for them to
know which side of their personality to lead with, in a given situation.
Sticking with one or the other tendency too long, might leave an ambivert drained.
The warning signs will be boredom and burnout.
We are all naturally good at some things and not so much at others, but we can learn to
cope or leverage other strengths instead.
If you find that a certain situation consistently leaves you in a bad mood, stop banging your
head against the wall, and change the situation or find a different approach.
Customise your definition of yourself.
The key to surviving or thriving as an ambivert is understanding and accepting our contradictory
impulses.
Each part of your personality has its own strengths, and the key is knowing how to harness
these in the right situations.
Ask yourself: “What do I need to do right now to be most happy or successful?”
Take control of how you spend your time and with whom.
You do not have to waste your time with people or in places that drain you.
Life is too short to spend with toxic people in draining places.
The next time someone asks you your personality type, you won’t have to fumble through an
explanation about how you’re extroverted in some situations, and have introverted tendencies
other times, but don’t feel like you really identify with either category.
Just tell them you’re an ambivert, and point them to this Ratalyst video!
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