(hair brushes)
- [Rick] Morty.
Morty.
- Rick?
- [Rick] Hey, Morty.
- Rick, are you far away,
or are you inside something?
Is this a camera?
Is everything a camera?
- [Rick] Morty, the garage, Morty.
Come to the garage.
(door squeaks)
Morty.
- Rick?
Where are you?
- [Rick] On my workbench, Morty.
- Are you invisible and you're gonna, like, fart on me?
- [Rick] Flip the pickle over.
- What, I'm gonna touch it,
and you're gonna tell me it's an alien dick or something.
- [Rick] Come on, flip the pickle, Morty.
You're not gonna regret it, the payoff is huge.
I turned myself into a pickle, Morty.
Boom, big reveal, I'm a pickle.
What do you think about that?
I turned myself into a pickle.
What are you just staring at me for, bro?
I turned myself into a pickle, Morty.
- And?
What more do you want tacked onto this?
I turned myself into a pickle,
and 9/11 was an inside job?
- Was it?
- Who cares, Morty?
Global acts of terrorism happen every day.
Uh, here's something that's never happened before.
I'm a pickle.
I'm Pickle Rick.
- Is this the first part of some kind of magic trick?
- I don't do magic, Morty.
I do science.
One takes brains, the other takes dark eyeliner.
- Well, can you move?
Can you fly?
- Wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could.
- All right, well, do pickles live forever, or?
- Morty, stop digging for hidden layers,
and just be impressed.
I'm a pickle.
- I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this,
why anyone would do this.
- The reason anyone would do this,
if they could, which they can't,
would be because they could, which they can't.
- Morty, we have to get going,
or we're gonna be late.
Where's your grandpa?
- [Rick] Right here, sweetie.
I'm a pickle.
- What?
Why would you do...
Look, we're running late, we have to go.
- Where are you guys going?
- We have an appointment downtown
that was set a week ago,
and agreed upon by everyone, including you.
- Oh my god, Beth, ugh,
it totally slipped my mind.
Jeez, oh man, I'm a pickle.
I mean, I don't know if I can, ooh, jeez.
- Rick, did you do this on purpose
to get out of family counseling?
- Morty.
- It's okay, Beth,
I understand Morty's suspicion.
I've misled him before.
Morty, turn me so we're making eye contact.
(pickle squishes)
Morty, I assure you,
I would never find a way to get out of family therapy.
I hope my lack of fingers doesn't prevent the perception
of my air quotes.
- Can't you just turn yourself back into a human?
- Great question, Summer.
The unfortunate answer is,
I did this to challenge myself,
and it could take hours or even days
before I'm able to figure out
how to return to human form.
But, I mean, you know,
your mom could put me in a purse or a pocket, you know?
If she really needs me to go.
- Nobody needs anything, okay?
It's fine.
I mean, you should just stay here
and figure out how to stop being a pickle, okay?
- Hey, Rick, why is there a syringe of mysterious fluid
hanging directly over you?
Also, why is the string attached to it running
through a pair of scissors attached to a timer?
And why is the timer set to 10 minutes from now,
exactly when we would've left for therapy?
- Well, Morty, if you must know,
the syringe is completely unrelated to this discussion,
and therefore, it does not warrant further explanation.
- Enough.
Kids, it's time to go.
We don't wanna be late.
- What are you doing there, Beth?
What are you doing there, sweetie?
- Well, I mean, you don't wanna get pierced
by a needle full of liquid unrelated to your situation.
How's that gonna help?
- Can't argue with that.
- Great, we'll see you later.
- Hey, hey, be careful with that.
It's for something else. (car doors close)
It's really important, (car engine starts)
so don't break it.
(car whirs)
Okay, I may have (beep) up here.
Oh, dop, bop, bop, bop,
de-dap, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, ba.
Ta, ta, ta, ta.
(Rick blows raspberries)
Oh.
(Rick mumbles)
(Izzy meows)
Oh, great.
Stupid cat.
(Izzy sniffs)
(Izzy screeches)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I know what it looks like to you, Izzy,
but I'm not a snake.
I've seen the YouTube videos,
I know cats are scared of cucumbers and pickles
because they think they're snakes.
(Izzy hisses)
I'm not a snake.
Oh, I'm a pickle, I'm a pickle.
Whoa.
(Rick grunts)
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ugh.