It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood.
I'm Ronnie.
I'm not Mr. Rogers.
I'm going to teach you something today that's I think kind of interesting, and I would like
to know your opinion; if you agree or disagree with this theory.
This is a psychological theory.
Let's dive into your brain.
Delicious.
There's been many studies done on what we call "birth order".
So, "birth order" means if you were born first, second, or third.
We also call it, like, the middle-baby syndrome.
I've just made that up.
But if you're... if you're the middle kid, you have disadvantages; there's TV shows about
it, called Malcolm in the Middle.
There's been so many things, so much research done about this, and I'm just going to share
this with you, and you can learn some vocabulary, and you can learn something about yourself,
and if you are a parent you can maybe learn something about your children.
Why are they so crazy?
Why are those little devils doing that?
Or why is my child an angel?
So, this is called "birth order".
And the first thing I want to teach you is few slang words in regard to parenting.
So, one of them is called a "mama's boy".
You probably have this in your language.
"Mama's boy" is a boy who always depends on their mother.
So, a mama's boy will never really become fully independent.
His mother will always do his laundry; cook his dinner, and lunch, and breakfast; and
basically never, ever grow up.
So, you don't actually want to produce a mama's boy and you don't actually want to be a mama's
boy because, in the future, it will cause problems in relationships because no one can
ever replace your mother and... oh, so the trauma begins.
So, "mama's boy" are boys who depend too much on their mothers.
So, mamas, stop babying your son.
Make him do the cooking and the laundry.
Relax.
Take a bubble bath.
Eat some bonbons.
Let that kid do the washing up.
Okay, the other one is a new sensation called "helicopter parenting".
So, in our society, because it has become more dangerous, parents now have to actually
walk their children to school.
When I was a child, I got to go to school by myself-yay-and cross the road, and I survived.
But, again, our society is getting more dangerous, depending on where you live.
Now parents must walk the kids to school and pick them up.
So, this obviously would interfere with having a job and properly maybe a life.
So, "helicopter parenting" means that the parents watch the children too much.
Before it was called being "overprotective".
So, if you have an overprotective mother or father, they're always watching what you're
doing, they're always worried, and it's really annoying because you want your freedom.
So, helicopter parenting is just being overprotective about your children.
Of course, it's your natural instinct to protect your children, but sometimes it gets too much.
Another example of this is for children's birthday parties.
When I was a child, I would go to my friend's birthday party by myself, maybe my mother
and father would drop me off, and I would play for a couple of hours, eat some cake,
go home.
Now the parents actually go to the kids' birthday parties.
You guys just want cake.
I get it.
Good idea.
Yeah.
"I'm protecting my children."
You're protecting your stomach from the cake.
Okay, I get it.
So, this is parent... helicopter parenting.
Negative, positive?
You decide.
So, let's start with the "first born"; your very first baby.
So, you are really excited for the very first baby but you are also very, very, very nervous
because you want the baby to survive.
So, as a parent, the first baby you don't know what to do, of course; you've never done
this before.
So, you have very strict rules and everything is crazy.
If the baby is sick: "Oh my god!
It's an emergency!"
That's normal.
So, what the effect of this is: The first born are always going to have the most strict
parents and the most strict rules.
Okay?
And that's wonderful.
The baby grows up, then-doo-doo-doo-doo-surprise - you have another child.
So, what happens is with the birth of the second child, the first born is going to learn
really, really positive things.
The child is going to learn to nurture and love-hopefully-his or her baby brother or
sister.
So, they are taught to teach the child, and they are taught to love them.
So, you see little boys and little girls are very excited for their little baby brothers
or baby sisters.
Till they be born, they ask their Mom or Dad: "Mom, I want a baby brother for Christmas."
Uh-oh.
So, this is a very positive thing.
They also are very eager or they want to please others.
They want to please their mother and father; they want their parents to be happy, so this
is good.
When the new baby is born, they understand other people's needs, so they think: "Oh,
hey, I'm not the only kid here.
There's another person, and oh... oh, hey.
This little guy wants to use my toys, too.
Okay."
So they learn to be more adaptive; they learn to share things, they learn to take care of
other people.
They like to teach, some of them.
This, of course, is not everyone.
So they like to teach their little brother and sister how to do things because they're
the responsible one.
And they like to lead; they like to be leaders.
So, most of them like to teach them because they feel proud.
So, these are the very positive aspects about being the first born and then having another
little baby.
But there are bad things, and this is where you have to watch out if you are a parent.
So, of course, with a new baby, the first baby is going to be jealous because all of
the attention is now given to the new baby.
So, the new baby will get toys and the first born won't get any toys.
So, a lot of parents buy a toy for the baby and for the older brother or sister.
They're going to experience a sense of loss, and this is losing their toys, this is losing
all of the attention from the mother and father as well, and they feel really sad about this
and jealous.
They need to share the attention or share the love of the mother and father; they don't
like this.
And they feel a lot of pressure because they always need help; they always need to help
the mother and father.
So, the mother... maybe you're busy and you say: "Oh, okay, come on.
Let's... let's... help... help me do this.
I need you to help me", so they feel a lot of responsibility.
Depending on the child, they might really like this, or they might find it awful because
they just want to play, but: "Oh my god, I have to help my baby brother" or "my baby
sister".
So, we have to be aware of what happens in the developmental brain of a child.
Why are they acting out?
Why are they doing this?
These are the reasons.
They're jealous.
The "second born".
So, if you're the second born - wow, you get one thing that's really cool, is your mother
and father have done this already; they're cool.
So, if you sneeze, you're not going to run to the hospital; they know you just have a
cold.
So, the parents are calmer, they learn more, they've done this already.
They know what happened.
You get to learn from your older sibling.
So, "sibling" means brother or sister.
So, hopefully your older brother and sister will help you do things, and that's fun; you
can learn from them.
Because of this, theory has it that you read and you can develop faster because it's the
help of your older brother or sister.
Now, maybe if your older brother or sister doesn't help you, you can't read faster.
That's fine.
I have an older brother.
[Clears throat].
So, in theory, the older one will help the younger one and they will develop faster.
But with everything in life, there are some drawbacks or some negative things about being
the second born.
The first one is because your sibling is older, they can obviously do more things, so you
or the baby would begin to feel inadequate.
"Inadequate" means you feel like you can't do something.
So, depending on the age, if a 5-year-old can do something, a 2-year-old can't do it
- logically we can understand this, but the child doesn't.
So, we need to guide the child and say: "Oh, yeah, yeah, but look it: Your brother is 5
and you're only 2.
Your brother can paint and draw, and you just eat crayons.
That's fine; you're only 2 years old."
Another thing they do is they try to imitate the older brother or sister.
So, you might think: "Oo, okay".
"Imitate" means they copy what the older brother or sister does.
Sometimes this is negative because maybe the older brother and sister do bad things, so
of course, the child would like to do the same as the brother and sister - this could
be double; double trouble.
And also it annoys the older brother or sister.
And, of course, they're jealous.
All kids are jealous.
They're jealous of the older brother or sister, because the older brother and sister can do
cool things; they can go with their friends and you can't, or they can do different things,
different activities that you can't do.
So, there's a big loss here and they... they're very competitive.
"I want to be like my brother and sister."
They have a drive.
Maybe this helps you in real life because you are competitive.
The last one-me-is the "last born" or the baby of the family.
This word: "imitate" I've spelt wrong, actually only has one "m", so: "I imitate" is only
with one "m".
I like to put in two m's; it's fun, but it's wrong.
So: "imitate".
The last one or the baby is what I am, so I have one older brother-thank god only one-and
I am the baby of the family.
The babies... are they the coolest?
Maybe.
I think so.
So, the babies will never grow up in the parents' eyes.
So, the cool thing about this is the parents now have amazing confidence; they've done
this not one time before, but two times before, so: "Hey, kid, if you want to run with scissors
down the hall, go ahead.
We're cool.
I'm going to have a bubble bath while you do that."
So, parents have more confidence; therefore, maybe you have fewer rules or the rules are
different.
So, the child has more freedom.
Now, is this positive or negative?
I think it's cool.
They get more attention from the mother and father because they're the baby.
Maybe they're a surprise baby.
Now, a "surprise baby" means that the mother and father didn't really plan on having a
baby-that's funny-but you're surprised.
So, surprise babies-"Woo-hoo, we're having another brother and sister"-this can be difficult
for the first and the second born.
But the baby also develops skills faster than the second one because now they have two kids
to teach them, and they have two kids to look up to or two kids to admire.
"I want to be like my baby brother" or "my older brother or sister".
They tend to be more creative, probably because, again, they have more freedom.
They are more confident; again, no helicopter parenting.
And a really cool skill is they can be alone because they have a sense of security in the
family.
Okay, then we come to the negative things about being a baby.
Maybe you will always be the baby in the family.
So, you can use this and you can do this crazy thing called "be manipulative".
You can manipulate people.
So, because you're the baby, like: "I'm the baby.
I can't do anything", so you always get your older brother and sister to do it for you.
This causes you to be very lazy, and may cause you to be irresponsible.
So, you always depend on someone else to do what you should be doing.
"Ah, you know, that other person will do it; I don't need to do it."
Guess what, baby?
Yes, you do.
You're not a baby anymore; you're an adult.
Come on.
Do it.
They also tend to be dare devils.
What's a "dare devil"?
A "dare devil" is someone who does something a little bit dangerous; bungee jumping - no
problem.
Okay?
They like to test the rules; also, they're rebellious.
So, the parents give them a rule and they think: "Pfft, whatever.
I don't need to follow that rule."
So, they test the parents because you have fewer rules, they feel more freedom, they
can get into trouble.
Yeah, they can climb a tree and break their leg.
So, you dare devil babies, be careful.
Do you agree with this?
What's your opinion of this?
What baby are you?
Are you the first, second, third, fourth, fifth?
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Or how many children do you have?
If you do have children, good luck.
Please take care of them and give them all the love you can.
Till next time, I'm outta here.
Mommy.