-Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show"!
Thank you! [ Cheers and applause ]
I feel the love. I feel the love.
I feel like the GameStop of late night.
I really do.
Yeah, right now, the world has been
separated into two groups -- those who have no idea
what's going on with the stock market
and those who have no idea but invested anyway.
Well, guys, some news out of Washington.
It looks like President Biden is likely
to keep the Space Force.
Yeah. When asked why they're keeping Space Force,
a Biden spokesperson said, "Because it's funny."
That's right -- it looks like Space Force is here to stay.
Apparently, Biden had no choice after Trump signed
a 30-year lease with the moon.
Yep, Biden is keeping the Space Force around
for a very important mission.
He's going to use them to knock down the wall.
Biden's decision is actually a big deal.
When they heard, the two members of the Space Force
high-fived in their basement cubical.
Yep, Biden is keeping the Space Force,
but their budget is somewhere between
the Department of Hot Tub Regulations
and the Office of --
-[ Laughs ]
-Hey. -You jumped on it, man.
The Department of Hot Tub Regulations
and the Office of VCR Repairs.
So in between, in betwixt.
In betwixt the two.
It seems like there's so much going on right now.
I mean, the stock market is all over the place.
Netflix just announced that "Bridgerton"
is their most-watched series ever.
A Margaritaville Resort is opening
in the middle of Times Square.
And there's a Grape-Nuts shortage.
There's a lot to go over,
so let's just jump in and cover it all at once.
It's time for a "News Smash."
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
[ Ding ]
First up, the stock market.
People on Reddit started buying stock in GameStop as a joke,
and it caused so much chaos that some C.E.O.s
want trading to be halted.
People can't keep their eyes off the market right now.
You know what else people can't keep their eyes off of?
"Bridgerton."
It's officially the most-watched series in Netflix history,
with 82 million viewers.
The characters are high-society Londoners, so fancy and proper.
They're kind of like people who wouldn't be caught dead at
the new Margaritaville Resort in Times Square.
It's coming later this year.
It has an outdoor pool, rooftop views,
and a giant Statue of Liberty holding a margarita.
If you ask me, the whole thing seems nuts.
Yeah, there's a Grape-Nuts shortage.
The company says it's difficult to produce
the cereal right now, and most stores are out of stock.
What's happening? Are stocks going up, down?
It feels like Reddit took a hammer to the market,
and now the system's totally smashed.
And if you want to get totally smashed, why not try
the Margaritaville Resort in Times Square.
You probably shouldn't swim with a bunch of drunk strangers,
but do your thing.
I'll be on my couch, sipping tea and watching "Bridgerton."
It's a great show.
There's romance, scandal,
and, in that classic British fashion,
the humor is really dry.
But not nearly as dry as Grape-Nuts,
everyone's favorite gravel-based cereal.
The company is suffering,
and that's why we should all buy now.
Get it while it's low.
There can be as rich as everyone on "Bridgerton."
In conclusion, it's taking a hit.
It's full of Brits.
It's a spoonful of grit.
Elmo's about to get lit.
This has been a "News Smash."
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
[ Ding ]
Well, guys, as I mentioned, Netflix just announced that
"Bridgerton" is its most-watched new series ever.
Meanwhile, everyone who finally learned how to play chess
is like, "Oh, come on."
Yep, the show's a hit.
The reviews call it romantic, passionate,
and "something I regret watching with my parents."
This is how popular the show is.
Today, I walked past a construction site,
and one of the guys was like, "Daphne's Empire-waist dress
in Episode 7 was absolutely fascinating."
"Lou, no spoilers."
Yep, "Bridgerton" is Netflix's most-watched series.
On the flip side, they just announced their
least-watched series is...
I like that show. I don't know.
Hey, like I was saying before, later this spring,
Times Square is getting a $300 million
Margaritaville Resort with an outdoor pool.
Yeah, right now, the only way to get a tropical escape
in the middle of Manhattan is to stand over a subway grate.
Right now, the only way to go to a pool
in the middle of New York City is to head over to
Port Authority after it rains.
Some fashion news.
I saw that Louis Vuitton recently unveiled
its fall 2021 menswear collection,
which includes 3-D skyline coats.
Take a look at these things.
-No. -It's real.
Yeah, the coats actually have a theme.
It's called "No Sex in the City."
If you go to a coat check, they don't even give you a ticket.
They go, "I'll remember."
You're in New York.
You came in dressed as New York City. I know."
Yeah, they look like they're
background actors in a school play.
It's like, "You didn't get the lead, honey,
but you're just as important.
You're playing the set."
And, finally, a new lawsuit out of California alleges that
Subway's tuna is not actually tuna
and is really a mixture of various concoctions.
Meanwhile, Blimpie is like, "Shh, don't make eye contact.
No one will notice."
To be fair, Subway actually does have real tuna,
but you have to order the meatballs.