- THAT'S TRUE.
[pounding at door]
- IT'S YOUR LANDLORD! [pounding continues]
- HEY, DEVON.
- HEY, HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER?
HOW YOU DOING? YEAH.
JUST, UH, STOPPING BY.
JUST WANTED TO CHECK UP ON EVERYTHING.
- OKAY. - YEAH--AHA!
YOU IN HERE, YOU LITTLE MOTHER[bleep]?
NOPE.
CLOSET LOOK GOOD.
DOOR IS STRONG.
SO Y'ALL SETTLING IN? - YEAH.
WE'VE BEEN LIVING HERE A YEAR AND A HALF, SO WE HAVE.
- SO, UH, HOW ARE THESE CUPBOARDS WORKING OUT FOR YOU?
MAN, NOBODY IN HERE...
BESIDES YOUR STUFF, WHICH LOOKS GOOD.
- THANK YOU.
- COMPLETELY UNRELATED--
HAVE Y'ALL SEEN A 4'11" DUDE WITH A PURPLE BEARD UP IN HERE?
- NO. NO.
NO, NO ONE'S IN HERE...
PROBABLY BECAUSE WE LOCK THE DOOR.
- OH, HE GOT THE BODY LIKE A RAT.
HE CAN JUST SQUEEZE THROUGH THE VENTS.
- YEAH.
SO YOU THINK SOMEBODY'S HIDING IN MY APARTMENT?
- NO.
I TOLD YOU--
IT'S JUST A SOCIAL CALL.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD GERALD BE IN HERE, ANYWAY?
- GERALD.
THERE IS A MAN WITH A PURPLE BEARD
NAMED GERALD IN MY APARTMENT?
- HELL, NO!
WHY? DID YOU SEE HIM?
HE ABOUT 4'9", GOT A PURPLE BEARD.
- YEAH.
- HEY, BABY-- - [screams maniacally]
- [screams] - UGH!
THIS IS--AGH!
[grunts]
OH. [laughs]
HEY, BABY GIRL.
YOU AIN'T GERALD. [snickers]
OH, BY THE BY, HAVE YOU SEEN A 4'5" PURPLE BEARD?
- BABY...
- DEVON, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- OKAY, YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA LEVEL WITH ALL Y'ALL.
THERE IS A 4'3" [bleep] WITH A PURPLE BEARD NAMED GERALD
SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
- WHY DOES HE KEEP GETTING SMALLER
EVERY TIME YOU MENTION HIM?
- SERIOUSLY?
'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO ALARM Y'ALL.
HE IS DISTURBINGLY SMALL, REALLY.
HE A GOOD GUY.
HE SMOKE ROCK, THOUGH.
I MEAN, HE'LL DO ANYTHING TO GET MONEY FOR CRACK.
ANYTHING.
- OKAY.
- I MEAN ANYTHING.
- I GET IT.
- HE WILL MURDER YOU.
- WELL, WE CERTAINLY HOPE YOU FIND HIM.
- OH, I'M GONNA FIND HIM.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT,
'CAUSE I'M GONNA LOOK LOW,
AND THEN I'M GONNA LOOK HIGH.
[grunting]
- [screams]
[both screaming]
- GERALD, YOU TINY LITTLE BITCH!
SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE, Y'ALL.
GERALD, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU GONNA BE 2'3"!