do you feel like you're constantly fighting for your man's time and
attention do you wish he would put more effort into the relationship communicate
and make more plans with you if so then stay right here because in
this video I'm going to tell you why you should never fight for a man's attention
and I'll tell you exactly what to do to regain his focus and keep him thinking
about you always don't go anywhere because we're starting right now
hi everyone I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a psychologist and a relationship
coach this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can
grow happy with the people you love so if you're interested in making your love
life the best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and
hit the bell notification so you aren't missing anything if you're watching this
video then chances are you're in a relationship with a man who isn't
prioritizing you or the relationship maybe you feel like you are always
competing for his attention or that he's just not as thoughtful he's not texting
or calling as much or even worse he's not making plans to spend time with you
when these things are happening it's a scary position to be in you feel
disappointed and hurt or angry about how he has changed and worried that he might
be slipping away so you talked to him you have a conversation about it and
perhaps things get better for a bit but then he's right back to where he was
before and of course it's natural to want to
work on improving your relationship you want to give it your all but things just
aren't changing and it's all a one-sided effort and if you're like most women
this morphs into a huge issue that you frequently argue and fight about but
despite all that you've tried nothing changes that's because you should never
fight or bed for a man's time and attention instead try these powerful
tips and you will see incredible changes in his behavior
oh and one caveat before you try the following steps I'm assuming that you
have already had a conversation with him and explained how you're feeling in
other words you have already talked about this problem but he still hasn't
made any lasting changes so without further ado let's just jump right into
them number one give him a time frame if this is a relatively new problem perhaps
he just needs a little time to adjust and make the changes that you're asking
for now of course you're not going to say to him hey Mike or whatever his name
is you're not gonna say Mike I'm giving you
two weeks and if you don't make these changes in the next two weeks I'm out no
I don't want you to tell him that you're giving him a time frame at all just keep
that time frame to yourself in most cases I think a good time frame is
somewhere in the range of two to four weeks now waiting and giving him that
time has some very important benefits first it gives you the Opera
to implement all of these steps in other words you're giving this process a
chance to work and it shows him that he's worth the weight and it allows him
to develop a deeper connection with you and during this timeframe you're also
going to be doing number two number two forget about what you feel and remember
what you deserve when you're in love with a man who isn't making time for you
it's a very scary position to be in you're fearing that he's slipping away
and may not love you like he once did and this fear is your worst enemy why
well it makes you feel insecure it can cause you to engage in behaviors that
are less than self-serving and when you are fearful that you are losing him
you grasp onto him more strongly and often end up begging for his attention
and grasping on to the scraps and the bread crumbs that he throws your way
meanwhile he's living his life he's doing his thing and he's not concerned
about you he's not worried about what you're doing because every time he
communicates with you you are complaining of not getting enough of his
time or attention so he feels secure and because of your insecure feeling your
value in his eyes goes down and you're becoming an afterthought so I want you
to recognize the fear and disappointment and use it to motivate you to change
your behaviors and really implement these steps perfectly so think about
what things used to be like and then make yourself a promise that you will
accept no less than what you deserve by adopting these changes into your life
and these tips are rooted to being the best version of yourself and loving
yourself they're all about respecting yourself and your life and they're
designed to help him recognize your value and to remember the person he
found in love with and yes they do work now after you have made that conscious
shift in your thinking go on to the third step number three stop seeking
reassurance it's normal to want to know how your significant other feels about
you however constantly asking him is not the way to go about it saying things
like do you love me how much do you love me are you sure you can't look for his
words to reassure you of your value when you do it becomes overbearing for him
and it will likely lead to the demise of your relationship but most of all it
shows him that you are insecure and that lower
your value in his eyes and becomes a huge disadvantage it shows him that you
are afraid of losing him and then you are no longer the prize you are no
longer the challenge again you just lowered your value remember looking to
your partner to reassure you when you feel insecure only leads to more
insecurities these beliefs and attitudes need to come from inside and unless you
can overcome them within yourself it won't matter how smart or sexy or worthy
or attractive he says you are no matter what you must strive to feel okay within
yourself and that takes us back to the importance of soft love and being a
high-value woman number four allow him to pursue you that means that you have
to stop pursuing him that means that you have to stop texting him between dates
that means that you cannot be initiating communications with him instead you must
let him do it look I know that this is difficult to do
because you like him you miss him and you want to talk to him it's hard not to
reach out because you want to be connected and communicating but if you
want a man to really give you the time and attention you deserve you must pull
away and allow him to miss you allow him to pursue you to chase you he's a man
and he needs to do that so do not initiate cause or text to him
notice I didn't say ignore him or stop communicating I'm saying stop being the
one that is always looking for him and starting communication or at the very
least used the 80/20 rule that means that he is going to be
initiating communication and that's texts and phone calls and inviting you
to spend time together 80% of the time and you are allowed to initiate or ask
him only 20% of the time in other words you're not the one who's going to be
starting the day with a good morning caller text instead let him do it
eventually he will recognize the difference and wonder why you've
suddenly gone silent on him let him feel a little down and realize he was happier
when things were different your silence will speak volumes and he will usually
start to pursue you again quickly oh and make him wait before you return his
calls intact I understand the urge to respond back immediately especially if
you've been waiting to hear from him for a while but taking some time before
responding to his contact sends the message that you are busy and not just
sitting by the phone waiting for him to reach out have
patience and take your time before responding doing so will certainly
increase his yearning for you number five keep your standards and
expectations high remember it's your values and your expectation that sets
the bar for your relationship it sets your standards of what you expect and
where you set your own bar determines how anyone else is going to treat you
because the way we love and value ourselves sets up the way in which we
let other people love and value us or mistreat us the problem that so many
people have when they are fearful that someone is slipping away
they're often willing to compromise their standards and accept anything just
to keep the relationship going and when you do that you're setting low
parameters for him but when you refuse to entertain or tolerate behaviors or
actions of his that you don't agree with or that don't meet your standards then
you are staying true to yourself and keeping your standards high so if a man
isn't meeting your standards if a man isn't treating you right if a man isn't
meeting your needs you must be willing to walk away you cannot lie to yourself
or bargain with yourself that although he isn't really what you're looking for
he will change or things will get better believe me they won't and if anything
they will only get worse when he knows that you aren't willing to settle that
you aren't going to tolerate behaviors or actions of his that you don't agree
with he's going to step up his game and step up to the challenge but he will
only experience this if he knows that you are willing and able to walk away
from something that isn't right for you and that brings me to the most important
point of the video if you spent some time doing all of these steps and you
find that he still isn't prioritizing you or the relationship and you must
walk away with your head held up high look I know it's not easy to accept the
fact that a man doesn't want a relationship with you or that a man
hasn't made you a priority it hurts and it hurts a lot that's because people
deeply personalize romantic rejection to the point of attaching their value and
self-worth to whether or not a man wants them but when you do that you give away
your power and rely on the validation of a man to tell you that you're good
enough let me repeat that when your self-worth and value is attached to
whether or not some man wants a relationship with you then you give up
all of your hoping to get validation from him so if
he doesn't want you you start to question yourself and ask what's wrong
with me and that's the opposite of the way that you should be thinking about it
the question you should be asking is what's wrong with him think about it
this way this is a man who hasn't known you very long and your value and worth
has nothing to do with his perception of you
after all his perception is simply based on his imagination and the limited
interactions that he's had with you both good and bad so take your power back and
Trust the process regardless of how badly you want him if he isn't making
you or the relationship a priority you must put your self-respect above your
feelings and walk away remember forget what you feel and
remember what you deserve when you shift into what you want instead of whether or
not someone wants you you are practicing self-love and you gain so much freedom
and move forward with confidence but again it all starts with self-love check
out this video to learn more about how self-love changes the way that you date
or click here to watch a video that YouTube thinks that you like if you
found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up and please subscribe to make
sure that you're getting all of our latest content I'll see you in the next
video