How do I know if I have anger management issues? I'll give you the top 10
countdown today. Listen in. Let's start with the number 10 sign that you might
need anger management help. And that is that people tend to tiptoe around you or
they get defensive easily around you. Usually this indicates that they're
feeling threatened. Your anger response could be projecting a threat that you
didn't even know that you were projecting. If you see people being
really careful around you, that might be an indicator. Number 9, you often find
yourself regretting what you have said. You never had that experience? Now, we all
do from time to time. If this is coming up a lot for you that you're thinking
back on a conversation you're like, "Oh, I wish I wouldn't have said that." Then that
might be an indicator that we ought to pay some closer attention to. Let's go
ahead and move on to number 8. More than one person has mentioned to you
that you might have an anger issue. Now, we get feedback all the time, right?
Some feedback is not even worth paying a whole lot of attention to. But I think
all feedback is potentially valuable. I remember years ago, one of my clients
said, "If somebody tells you you're a horse, just ignore them. They're crazy. If
3 or 4 people tell you that you're a horse, you might want to buy
some hay." And I had to chuckle about that because it's just kind of funny. But
that's a really good point. What if 2, 3, 4 people have given you this
feedback that you've got some anger issues? We don't always notice in
ourselves what other people are able to pick up on. And if they're gracious
enough to give us that feedback, let's pay attention to it and at least
consider it. Number 7 on
list. You feel that you are surrounded by idiots. Maybe you are surrounded by
idiots, right? Usually this is a reflection of your own perceptions. The
people around you are just people and you're going to find all kinds of people
in all kinds of circumstances and settings. If you find yourself thinking
maybe more of the time than not. "Oh, man. I'm surrounded by idiots here." It may be
time to take a look at number one and just see what's driving those
perceptions. Sometimes an anger issue has us miss perceiving the thoughts and
intentions of people around us. And you never know. Do you know what somebody
else is thinking? No, you don't. Even if they tell you. All you know is what they
told you. Just notice. If this is showing up for you a lot where you think that
you're surrounded by idiots. Number 6 is really closely related to
it. Because it also has to do with your perceptions. You think that life is
unfair. Alright. First of all, the truth of the matter is life is unfair. I don't
think fairness is part of the dealio. When your focus is on the unfairness of
your life, you are more susceptible to anger problems. So, pay attention to that
if you think that life is unfair. You know, I want to throw you a bone on this
one because I already said life is unfair, right? Things happen. I heard
this just over the weekend. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Because
they're people. Things happen to people. All kinds of things happen to all kinds
of people. What kind of people get into car accidents? Yeah, the lazy ones, the
distracted once, the drunk ones, right? Who are they going to hit? You, me, my wife and
kids. The kind of people who get into car
accidents are the kind of people who get into cars. Can you connect with that for
a minute? It's true. And life is not fair. Right. But what we do about it is our own
choice. That's what this channel is all about. Look at some of the other videos
in the positive personal development playlist. You're going to find gazillions...
Well, not gazillions. You're going to find dozens of videos there that address that
very subject. Pay attention to your paradigm. It matters. Now, along the lines
of paradigm, let's go to number 5. You blame others.
Number 5 sign that you might need some anger management help. You blame
others for what's going on in your life. It's easy to do this. "Oh, it's not my
fault. Ugh!" And trying to shift that blame over somewhere. It's hard to take
responsibility for things. In my book, Pathological Positivity, I break up the
word responsibility into 2 words.
Response, ability. It's your ability to respond. If you are blaming someone else...
And this is one of the traps that gets us into an anger problem. If you're
blaming someone else, you don't have any power to change your situation. I've
shared an experience before with driving. And I hope I'm not the only person who
does this. But you know when you're driving and you get lost in your
thoughts and you go right past your exit? I was doing this once in southern Utah
driving to go see a client and I knew I had missed my exit when I saw the big
colourful sign, "Arizona Welcomes You!" Like, "Crap. Arizona?" This is not what I had in
mind. This is not the place I wanted to be. Now, don't get me wrong. Arizona is an
amazing place. But it's not what I had in mind and how often in life do we
find ourselves in a place that we didn't plan to be in? Well, it's easy to try to
blame someone else for that, right? As I find myself in the desert of Arizona, I
look down and guess whose hands are on my steering wheel? Oh, that bites doesn't
it? Yeah. Because I'm here under my own power. But the bad news is also the good
news because if your hands are on the wheel. What can you do?
Steer it. Take it somewhere. As long as we're blaming we don't have that power.
We're waiting for something or someone else to get us out of wherever we are.
Alright. Moving up to number 4 on our list that you might have an anger
issue. You find yourself yelling a lot or people ask you to stop yelling when you
didn't think you were. That's going to show up occasionally. If it's showing up a lot,
probably an indicator that we need to take a little closer look at this. These
are becoming more obvious as we get toward the top of the list. Number 3
on our list. Indicator that you might have an anger issue is that you feel
frequent intense surges of rage. Anger. You feel it. You feel the anger and you
feel it a lot. And it's bothering you a little bit. Indicator number 2. I have
to chuckle at this one. You've been referred for anger-management classes.
Either through your work or the court or whatever. If you're at that level, you got
an issue. And again, it's easy to blame someone else and say that life is unfair
and try to make up all kinds of excuses or justifications. If you've been
referred for a class, open your eyes. You got an issue. Let's take it on. You can
totally handle this but you've got something to deal with here. And the
number 1 indicator that you might have some anger issues to address is that you
searched for and found this video. The title suggests that you've got a concern
about this. Now, maybe you're looking up this video
to help someone else. Bless you for that. If you're looking for your own purposes,
probably it's an indicator that you've got some work to do. If you could use
some personal help with your anger issues, reach out to us.
liveonpurpose.coach is a place where you can find coaches who are trained and
certified in the philosophies that we teach here at Live On Purpose TV. And
they can help you. Make sure you subscribe, follow. Check in again tomorrow,
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