Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
and life you love so much.
And today it’s Q&A Tuesday, that’s right.
Today’s question comes from E. and she writes:
“Hello Marie, I hope this message finds you well.
My question is, how do I effectively get my point across to others and have it taken seriously?
It seems as though I’m speaking Greek or something.
I send emails, I speak up in meetings, and I’m ignored.
My intention is to provide solutions to problems with innovative ideas in order to reach and/or
exceed goals.
This is not just in my work life, but also in my personal life.
It’s frustrating that I can’t get through to those I care about.
I would love to hear your perspective.
Sincerely, E.”
Great question, E. So let’s start off by recognizing that there’s two categories
here: things you can control and things you can’t.
In the camp of things you can’t you have to recognize that no matter how brilliant
your ideas are, there’s always gonna be some people who just have no interest in hearing
about them.
This is true for both in your work life and in your personal life.
So it doesn't matter how great your ideas are or how wonderful of a communicator you
are, you cannot make someone listen to your ideas if they’re just not interested.
Now, let’s move on to the more fun category: things we can control.
Like it or not, we all have communication patterns that undermine our power and authority.
I have them too and I’m always trying to keep an eye out to form better habits because
making some small tweaks in the way that we communicate can make a world of difference
in making sure that we are taken seriously.
So while this list isn’t exhaustive, it’ll really help you become a more powerful and
persuasive communicator.
Number one is don't use too many fancy words.
Why?
Because it obscures your message and it also weakens the chance that you’re going to
be understood and taken seriously.
Here’s an example.
Individuals consciously recognize it when you are attempting in an overly strenuous
way, by utilizing complex verbiage, to impress upon them that you are intelligent and/or
sophisticated.
In other words, people know when you're trying too hard to sound smart.
You even danced on the edge of it a little bit in your question when you wrote, “My
intention is to provide solutions to problems with innovative ideas in order to reach and/or
exceed goals.”
Right there you went from sounding like a totally relatable human being to sounding
like a business robot.
So when in doubt, use simple words and get right to the point.
Number two is lose the dumb disclaimer.
So you know this one, right?
We all start off a sentence by saying, “Well, this might be dumb but…” or, “This might
be silly, but…” or, “This might be way off base, but…”
Basically we use the dumb disclaimer any time that we’re not sure about what we’re about
to say or as a preemptive move if we think that other people aren’t gonna like it.
We figure if we call it dumb before anyone else does, the rejection will hurt less.
But the truth is, all that disclaimer does is undercut your power, so stop doing it.
Instead you wanna try something neutral like, “How about this idea?” or, “What about
this?”
Number three is turn “yea but” into “yes and.”
It’s a natural habit when any of us hear something, we disagree and then we wanna add
our perspective, what we think is right, to say, “Yeah, but…”
But you have to realize this: anything that’s followed by a but is gonna kick up someone
else’s defences whether you’re in your personal life or in a creative meeting.
For example, “I think that’s a good idea, but…” or, “I love hanging out with you,
but…”
Listen to how different it sounds when you say, “I think that’s a good idea, and…”
as in, “I think that’s a good idea, and here’s another perspective.”
Or, “I love hanging out with you, and I think we’d have even more fun if…”
Now, of course if you strongly disagree with something, then just disagree.
However, if you haven’t been invited to offer your opinions and you're really trying
to get a seat at the table, using “yes and” can help you get your ideas heard.
Number four is be a knocker.
So before you bust through that door with your big innovative ideas, it’s a good idea
to give a little knock knock, and here’s how you do it.
You ask someone, are you open to a suggestion for this?
Or would you like to hear an idea?
What this does is get the other person intrigued and makes them feel like they’ve invited
your feedback rather than getting bulldozed over by you and all your innovation.
So don't be a bulldozer, be a knocker, because everybody loves knockers.
Number 5 is follow-up.
So if you share an idea with the team or you send out a proposal, make sure you follow-up.
Most people are so busy, I know I am, and I’m so grateful when people take the initiative
and move things ahead.
So when you do follow-up, don't be mousey about it and don't say anything like this:
“Dear Sam, I’m so sorry to bother you - I’m sure you’re so busy.
By chance, have you had a moment to take a look at what I sent you?
If not, no worries, but if it’s not too much trouble, I’d love your feedback.
I think it’s possibly a very innovative solution.”
Instead you can try something direct and clear like this:
“Hi Sam.
I’m following up on the proposal I sent you last week on a strategy for our social
media content.
In case you missed it, I’m attaching it again and I’d be happy to walk you through
it.
I know it’s been an ongoing challenge for us and I really think this could solve it.
I’d love to see if you agree.
If there’s a better time to follow up, let me know and I’ll circle back then.”
So there you have it E., 5 solid strategies to help you achieve this tweetable.
Communicate powerfully and you’ll be taken seriously.
That was my A to your Q, E., I really hope it helps.
Now I would love to hear from you.
Have you ever struggled to be taken seriously?
If so, what specific change in your communication or approach made the biggest impact?
Tell me in the comments below.
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so make
sure you go there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video?
If so, subscribe to our lovely channel and I would be so grateful if you shared this
with your friends.
And if you want even more resources to create a business and life that you love, plus some
personal insights from me that I only talk about in the email, come on over to MarieForleo.com
and sign up for email updates.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
gift that only you have.
Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.