-Nathan, thank you for being here.
Thank you for spending your
night off from Broadway to be with us.
-It is my pleasure. You're my favorite.
I'm gonna say it out loud.
You're my favorite talk-show host.
-That is so kind of you to say.
-And I think it's because I didn't go to college,
and you're like the frat bro I never had.
-Oh, thank you.
-I look at you and I think, "We're gonna have fun.
We're gonna do Jell-O shots.
We're gonna chat up some fine ladies.
We're gonna make a night of it.
-Oh, my God. And we haven't done that once.
Well, now I also aspire to that. -Oh, me too.
I'm sorry I was a little late.
My security clearance
at Rockefeller Center was downgraded.
-Oh, no.
-Yeah, so, technically, I'm not even a guest tonight.
I'm now an NBC page. -Oh, no.
-So, I can answer your questions,
but I will have to get back to my tour group.
And they say I'm not topical.
You know, seriously, I'm beginning to worry for
Jared Kushner, 'cause he's way too pretty for prison.
-Oh, yeah. He's very handsome.
Very handsome.
-Well, for The White House, yeah.
-Wait. Are you saying there's a lower bar The White House?
-I think so. -Okay.
-It starts right at the top.
-I want to ask about the Oscars.
They were presented last night.
-Yeah, don't tell me who won. I DVR'ed it.
And don't tell me Best Sound Mixing
or I'll be very upset.
Yes, I did see it.
Apparently, due to the recent controversy,
no one wanted to talk to Ryan Seacrest,
which means nothing changed there.
But...when I heard that a woman accused him
of sexual harassment, my first thought was, "A woman?
Boy, do I owe some people a lot of money."
The nice thing was -- the "In Memoriam" segment
included all the staffers let go by the Trump administration.
-Yes, it was nice.
-And I was very happy that
Best Animated Short went to Kevin Hart.
And... [ Applause ]
But everybody's favorite movie is "Black Panther."
-Yeah. -I loved "Black Panther."
-Oh, you did?
-Oh, "Black Panther," which, coincidentally,
is the name of Betty White's "personal device."
[ Laughter ]
Have I -- Or perhaps...
Perhaps I've said too much. I read it in Parade magazine.
-It was not in Parade magazine.
-So, look, here's the problem with the Oscars.
I hate to point out the obvious, but there's so many award shows,
by the time you get to it, it's anti-climatic.
-It is.
-The week before, I saw the AARP Movies For Grownups Awards.
The category was Best Performance by
a Leading Actor with a Hip Replacement.
-Oh, no.
-Best Supporting Actor in an Adult Diaper.
[ Both laugh ]
It's got to be stopped!
-Now, you mentioned the -- A lot of stories broken about
the terrible behavior of men in Hollywood over the years.
-Yes. Yes.
-How do you feel about the current state of Hollywood?
Are you feeling optimistic? -Well, no. No.
I think everyone's just frightened right now.
And I hope it will grow and become
a real understanding between men and women.
But, recently, you know, Disney --
It's happening at Disney. -Yeah.
-A Disney executive was accused of
making lewd comments to his employees.
But I did some research, and things at Disney --
Sexual harassment -- it goes way back.
-Oh, it does? -Oh, yeah.
In the old days, Mickey Mouse got quite handsy with Minnie.
-Oh, no. -Oh, yeah.
He used to brag about his sexual prowess.
[ High-pitched ] "I'm big, really big."
It was in the police reports.
-Oh, you've read the police report?
-Donald Duck was accused of indecent exposure to Daisy.
-Uh-huh.
-Although, he only wears half a sailor suit.
He's pretty much exposed to everybody.
-Yeah, that's true.
-And, saddest of all, beloved Goofy was once found
in a Los Angeles hotel room with the Three Little Pigs.
There was a lot of huffin' and puffin' going on.
Yeah. You know, the original slogan for Disneyland was
"the horniest place on Earth."
-No. -Yeah.
-They changed it, though. -But they changed it.
-They changed it. That's for the best.
Thank goodness. -Yeah, thank goodness.