- [Amanda] Hey, Psych2Goers.
Welcome back to another video.
Are you afraid of what others may think of you?
Do you worry about whether people find you likable or not?
Perhaps you've tried to dress nicer,
or you've tried searching online for the newest trend
to follow so others would like you more?
Whatever the case,
everyone has struggled with self-confidence before,
and it's quite normal to want to find
and explore ways (water sploshing)
to boost up how others see you.
After all, becoming a more likable person
can help you build stronger interpersonal relationships,
and help you give better
and more memorable first impressions.
So, here are seven things
that would make people like you more.
Number one, ask questions.
Are you the type who likes to ask questions?
Or, do you remain quiet a lot of the time?
Well, it turns out that asking questions
can make you more likable,
because people tend to gravitate
towards those who need help.
Additionally, it's also a great way
to start conversations with others,
and to break the ice with people you've just met.
But remember not to overdo it with the questions,
like, to ask the same question again and again,
or to ask about something you already know the answer to,
since you may end up coming across
as a little irritating.
Number two,
give your time without expecting something in return.
Have you ever had a friend
who only spends time with you when they need something?
Perhaps they only call you
whenever they need to ask you for a favor.
People like this can come across as self-centered
and manipulative, because they'll only give
to those who can give them something in return.
So, when you invest time into people
without expecting anything in return,
you'll come across as more honest and genuine,
which will make people automatically like you more.
Number three, show your flaws from time to time.
Do you feel closer to people who make mistakes,
as opposed to those who do everything perfectly?
People who show their flaws are more likable
because it makes them more relatable.
When you admit and show your flaws and imperfections,
other people can feel more comfortable around you,
knowing that they can relate to you and your situation.
Also, it can give them a sense of trust,
since you're letting them see both the good
and the bad of yourself.
Number four, display positive emotions as much as you can.
Have you ever noticed how the happiest person in the room
can always make those around them laugh and smile?
Emotional contagion happens when you mimic the emotions
and expressions of the people around you.
Usually without conscious effort.
(bell dings)
It's why you might find someone's positive emotions
to be literally contagious.
So, by displaying more positive emotions yourself,
the people around you may start to associate you
with feeling happy, and end up liking you more.
But it's important to note
that you can't force emotional contagion.
Anything that comes across as fake or insincere
may end up just pushing others away.
Number five, be warm and competent.
Is there a person who you like very much?
How would you describe them?
If you think about it,
most of it may come down to how much you trust
(bell dings) and respect that person.
Research done by Princeton University psychologists
has shown that warmth and competence
are directly correlated to trust respect, respectively.
Showing warmth is about being friendly,
while competence comes down to knowledge and confidence.
So, for the next time you are about to meet someone new,
remember to be more friendly and just share what you know,
and you'll be a step closer
to getting them to like you more.
Number six, care about people, truthfully.
Has anyone ever set aside what they were doing
just to help you out?
Did you find yourself liking them a bit more?
People tend to like and gravitate
towards those who show care and kindness to them.
When you put aside your own tasks for someone else,
you're showing them that you genuinely care
about their wellbeing.
However, while it's sometimes good to prioritize
the needs of others before your own, it's also important
you don't forget to take care of yourself as well.
And number seven, have a positive body language.
What type of body language do you put out?
Do you tend to cross your arms and shrink into yourself?
Body language can influence your likeability.
A positive body language includes smiling
to bring about trust,
keeping your chin angled down,
to avoid giving the impression of looking down on people,
and keeping your palms up as you're talking
to show others that you are open to their opinions.
Neuroscience research has even found that smiling
gives the brain as much pleasure
as 2000 bars of chocolate, or $250,000.
So body language can not be overlooked
when trying to be more likable to others.
While there are benefits to being liked by others,
it's important to remember not to fake your actions.
So try to avoid showing positive emotions
when you're clearly angry or sad,
or to ask questions you already know the answers to,
otherwise you may run the risk
of pushing the people around you away.
Did you find any of these tips helpful?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you find this video helpful, be sure to like and share it
with those who might benefit from it.
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The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks for watching, and we'll see you in the next one.
(gentle music)