hey guy welcome back to the hottest club
in town so today i want to do something
i haven't done in a very long time and
that is pretty much make an entire video
about one tweet you're shopping at your
local food market and you notice this
young woman from behind how do you open
it at first i was really confused
because i've always been under the
impression that you can't open a bag of
chips in the store that you have to pay
for it first otherwise they'll get mad
at you but then i realized they're
talking about the girl
how do you open the girl and then i
spend the next 20 minutes scrolling
through the joke responses and having
the time of my life say let me get that
for you and then climb up the shelves
pulling them down and injuring both of
us tell her i'm exhausted from pushing
around my shopping cart and ask her to
push it while i ride in the children's
seat but the most accurate response i
saw was oh excuse me just gotta sneak
right past you real quick the original
tweet was such a stupid question that
got all of the mockery it deserved but
then i realized that nothing could be
funnier than all of the genuine
responses from guys who are like i got
this i will answer this question and i
will do it in the creepiest way possible
do you know how many calories are in
that bag i'll eat them for you we can't
have the future mrs x getting fat can we
yeah i think that'll go well i think
that's a good opening line to use on
someone you've never spoken to before
you shouldn't eat those what well if
you're gonna be my wife i don't want you
to get fat that's a good point make sure
i'm smelling nice brush close to her
from her left side whilst picking one of
the lay package whatever that turn gaze
into her eyes with a warm smile and tell
her i would have handed her that if it
was written slay because she's slaying
that is
weirdly choreographed even picked aside
would it have been different if he came
in from the right does he not want to
get pepper sprayed in his good eye it's
a shame that that went the way it did
because he got off to such a promising
start make sure i'm smelling nice
underrated first step though now i'm
curious to know how he would have
proceeded if he didn't smell nice run
over to the deodorant aisle real quick
or like go home and shower and hope that
in 30 minutes she'll still be deciding
on chips hey did you know these are half
off today check the coupon in the back i
don't see it should be there do you wear
glasses i do or maybe i need some etc by
the way you look familiar have we met
should be able to get her from there oh
yeah dude you are in i think you've laid
all the necessary groundwork here i mean
at this point the conversation
practically speaks itself i love how
many of these are like that though where
they clearly lose steam by the end and
so they're just like eh you get the idea
this guy didn't even finish one sentence
before giving up hey i like your style
did you buy your outfits from
the blah blah place you know one of
those stores to sell girl pants i don't
know i'm so tired this guy gave two
options number one is it cheat date for
you or have you tried cool ranch would
you call it cool ranch no i i've never
heard of that but it sounds delicious
what do you say we split a bag in my bed
at this point you may be thinking that
these are all so bad that surely they
have to be jokes as well right i feel
like the key to identifying genuine
responses in a sea of satire is to look
at their bios if he describes himself as
a business tycoon or a gentleman or you
know some kind of alpha he wasn't joking
this is his life occasionally you'll hit
the jackpot of twitter bios
cryptocurrency enthusiast and convicted
felon well at least he's proud of it
like i just can't imagine that an
account called red pill maestro that
retweets pickup artists all day every
day is doing some elaborate bit that
only he is aware of hey that's my bag
thanks for getting them for me i'll take
them from here
top shelf
naughty what's naughty about the top
shelf is that where they keep all the
sexy doritos was just gonna ask if you
would mind reaching the top shelf for me
i always struggle looks at me obviously
i don't hey why not grab a bag for
yourself while you're up there the thing
she was already doing until you snatched
it out of her hand like a child the best
responses though are the guys like bow
tied gray wolf who initiates small talk
about doritos alternatively you could
try the snack similarity approach walk
up grab a bag and say something like
these are my favorite glad to see
someone else with good taste as well
have you tried these pointed a different
variation glad to see someone else with
good taste as well have you tried the
purple bag i just woke up from a 60-year
coma you know this might be a viable
tactic if it was like some niche trader
joe's snack but they're talking about
doritos the most common brand of chips
oh i love doritos here let me help you
i talked to women the same way i would
talk to a stray dog so a lot of great
options to choose from but i have a
feeling the guy who tweeted it
wasn't asking for advice he doesn't need
it in fact he's the self-proclaimed
master opener of women which either
means that he's really good at starting
conversations or he's literally opening
women up um so
maybe just call the cops after 4 000
approaches i share my step-by-step sex
collation system to getting laid fast is
the sex itself supposed to be fast
because i don't need a guide on that
also 4 000 approaches i find it telling
that he's not leading with how many
women he's successfully slept with which
would also be creepy but just how many
he's tried to talk to but clearly with
tweets like this all he's doing is
prompting twitter outrage in order to
plug his book called conversation
casanova mastery if there's one thing i
don't want to do it's give money to this
guy but also i don't need to because all
of these courses are exactly the same
you see hot girl and you want sex but
brain too stupid you too stupid for 20
i teach you how to talk good and now you
have girlfriend tempting for sure uh but
given that we've already seen his
students in action i'm going to say this
book is probably not worth the money
speaking of which his other business
endeavor is called womanese 101 because
if i want to know the language of women
i'm going to ask some random dude women
speak womenis
a cryptic language that men have trouble
understanding
save yourself from years of pain
confusion and heartbreak
get the book now i love that this guy is
advertising a book that's supposed to
teach you what women are saying
and i can't even understand what he is
saying if you are too sex to make a move
on a woman that you like the you are
pathetic your ancestors fought in world
war ii oh my god the first thing you can
do to instantly raise your sexual market
value is to get better at being a
producer of emotions that women value
specifically fun intrigue and good
emotions did mark zuckerberg write this
this is the absolute most robotic and
insane way to say
girls like guys who are fun the best
part about this account is you don't
even have to come to the conclusion on
your own that this is predatory he
literally describes himself as a
predator that's not a good thing
needless to say womanese is not exactly
a hit with the ladies which you know
sort of invalidates it all together this
is how girls talk no it's not yeah okay
um i think i would know but i read a
little bit about it what is it with
pickup artists always implying there's
some kind of anatomical secret to
seducing women uncontrollable attraction
within a woman's limbic system yeah so
if you look closely you'll notice that
all girls have a little knob on the back
of their neck and you're going to want
to make sure that's turned over to the
horny setting otherwise you're not
getting anywhere with them also be
unfuckable with that is an amazing word
although i'm pretty sure they were
supposed to cut out the last part anyway
after the resounding success of that
first tweet mr casanova became so
addicted to getting dunked on that he
did it again you're at a college house
party and you notice this young woman
leaving the female restroom how do you
open i would have so many questions um
how did i get here which college is this
can i go home where's my wife
and who has gendered bathrooms at a
house party you have a nice body by what
i can see but is the rest of it nice too
i don't know
is it so the thinking with that is that
she'll get defensive and then be like
yeah it's nice here let me show you oh
wait a minute you got me you're such a
renaissance man i almost forgot one of
the responses i loved the most to the
original tweet was from an account
called got pickup lines app so this is
an entire app programmed to generate
clever one-liners to say to women the
perfect tool for aspiring creeps but
with the power of technology on our side
this should be the best pickup line of
them all
uh let's see what they came up with see
a cute girl looking at a food item go
over and grab the same item look at her
and say aren't these good these are so
good i wish i could eat them all day
oh they taste so good
tums the ultimate seduction tool have
you ever thought to yourself what should
i say to her what was that line i read
sadly what usually happens next is you
end up staring at the girl without even
talking to her and yeah bro she sees
that as creepy but you know what's not
creepy constantly stopping
mid-conversation to look down at your
phone and say whatever an app tells you
to so
where'd you go to school uh that's a
good question you don't remember no i do
i just
gotta type in school type into what
university of tennessee really because
you're the only ten i see holy [ __ ] no
wait i
i went to yale seriously i was worried
if i told you you'd
think i was some kind of nerd because
you went to a good school
no that's like the only good thing
you've said so far yeah i
i guess it is so what did you major in
[ __ ] oh my god then he goes on to cite
a social experiment done by someone
whose name he spelled wrong that
allegedly confirms that you can teach
someone how to flirt well
as long as they have higher social
status so if you're having trouble
picking up women just
have a lot of money
or be a prince now if you were worried
this website wouldn't turn into a rant
against woke culture don't be because it
does sure us guys have had to change the
way we communicate with females both in
and out of the workplace especially when
it comes to telegraphing sexual
interests we've learned to make verbal
advances in code using covert language
known as sexual innuendo to be able to
interact with women without triggering
those who are more easily offended
jesus christ i tell you what sometimes
it feels like you're not even allowed to
grope your co-workers anymore without
someone getting triggered that's not
called being triggered that's being
sexually harassed even if you're hitting
on someone using covert language like
some kind of horny detective that's
still inappropriate you're still going
to get reprimanded by your hr rep you uh
want to see me yeah so i heard from
jessica that you've been telling her
how much you want to put your hot dog in
her bun uh-huh you can't say that oh
what a guy's not allowed to talk about
food clearly you weren't talking about
food but i technically was you also uh
apologized in advance if the mustard
comes out too fast it's a sensitive
bottle that's disgusting you're fired
fine all right i don't care owen by the
way
sorry i triggered you only on netflix
side note for anyone who needs to hear
this innuendoes are not some sort of
secret double speak that only geniuses
can decode usually you're just coming up
with a different word for penis it's not
any more clever than a 12 year old boy
who ends every sentence with that's what
she said so anyway now we're at a point
where the how do you open tweets are
just popping off left and right so even
more alpha male twitter accounts are
getting in on the action and somehow
they're worse every time you're in a
restaurant with your friends where you
spotted this hot girl on opposite table
how would you open it well i think we
can all agree that there is only one
right answer you know according to
phycology a person who sits alone in
restaurant can be addicted to be alone
she replies so what then i say so i can
help you to not get addicted to it
you're at the beach and it's sunset time
you notice this young woman vibing alone
and you've identified that what she
actually is doing is begging for your
attention how do you open i'm sure we'll
get some nice
normal responses here sup mamas me likey
when i see
what's your evening plan babe maybe we
can go back to my crib and see what's up
oh what's that why yes i am single he i
know there's plenty of fish in the sea
but i never imagined i would find one so
thick she will smile slash laugh and say
are you calling me a fish don't respond
wait don't respond but it was going so
well don't respond just ask her name and
number trust me she will give it to you
trust me she will say that and she will
give you her number i'm sure see this is
a problem with a lot of these guys
mindset it's not just that they're
enacting the protocol they learned in
how to be a creep 101 it's that they've
already planned out how the girl will
respond like she doesn't have the free
will to say something else you can't
script out both sides of a conversation
your life is not a rom-com written by
you or if she doesn't say the fish thing
what if she's like who are you or go
away then what do you do
panic ask the director to yell cut this
isn't a movie but the reason they think
that they can drive a conversation is
because at their core men like this
don't view women as people they're
taught by all these sex crazed twitter
predators that if you just turn the
right knobs and press the right buttons
then you'll be in control of her or as
this guy put it they treat women like
their npcs whose soul questline revolves
around marrying you just look at some of
these tweets that have way too many
likes for what they are she's like a
robot she blindly follows her female
psychology software program never take
what a woman says or does personally on
an emotional level she is just a child
which is why we talk to them like one
she doesn't know what she truly wants
desires or needs she just goes along
with the flow of the emotional moment
unlike men who are notoriously
level-headed i do want to point out a
little bit of hypocrisy here because on
one hand they'll say things like you
know don't compromise anything for her
she doesn't deserve it show interest not
desperation but also you should take an
astrology class because that's where
girls are [ __ ] what she thinks what
matters is what you think have supreme
confidence in who you are and what you
stand for and then the very next tweet
like 20 minutes later to establish a
strong emotional connection with her
find what she's really passionate about
in life and connect with her on that
learn what she likes and pretend to like
it too or wait i thought
thought i was supposed to be myself i'm
so confused do i demean and belittle
women or do i spend thousands of dollars
on a class i'm not interested in just to
be in the same room as boobs but that's
kind of the inherent irony to all these
twitter accounts where they're like i'm
a big strong guy i'm in charge i'm in
control and i have dedicated my entire
personality to tricking women into
talking to me jokes aside all of this is
genuinely disturbing not just that
accounts like this exist but the
thousands of men follow them and hang on
to their every word like some kind of
in-cell religion being single is hard
and getting your heart broken sucks but
there's not some secret you can buy to
make women start falling all over you
and it's so much easier to deflect the
blame onto everyone else than to admit
that maybe you're the problem women are
evil they exist merely to torment me and
the problem with all these dating books
is that they're capitalizing on those
insecurities to make money off of lonely
dudes and then in the worst cases it
emboldens those men to blame women even
more because it's like well i bought the
book i did everything i was supposed to
do and she still won't talk to me
they really are the problem and now
you're like this lunatic who approaches
every interaction like it's some
challenge to see who can be more
manipulative what a healthy dating life
you have ahead of you you're like a
self-fulfilling prophecy on failed
relationships if i could offer any
advice it would be to just imagine that
women
are like uh human beings just like you
and then once you do that you could try
connecting with them person to person
and she still doesn't like you that's
okay at least you were authentic
maybe she's just not the person for you
try again don't just give up and start
resenting all women cause this shit's
not gonna work either no matter how much
the twitter guy told you it would oh
also don't hit on people in grocery
stores no one wants that all right well
i've been talking for a while i can feel
myself starting to lose some steam so i
think i'm going to toss it over to
pre-recorded me to take it from here hi
i'm trapped in a well and i'm founder
and ceo of
pictureofhotdog.com the world's most
popular website that isn't porn i get
over 4 000 dms every single day from
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want to say thank you
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back to me from the future thank you
guys so much for watching today's video
um this is my second time recording the
outro because the first time i did it my
microphone wasn't on anyway thanks for
making it to the end if you liked this
video be sure to unsubscribe from me
immediately and block me on every social
media platform i wanna end this one a
little differently than i usually do so
i figured let's play a game
of hide and seek i'll go first one
two
three
four
five
six
seven i'm counting to 108. now see you
guys next time 10
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11 and a half
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