- Technically this is my first date .
- How's it going so far?
- Pretty cool!
- Okay cool!
- No pressure!
- When people first meet me I think they can't really tell
that I have a lot of social anxiety.
I do enjoy lot's of big parties
and hanging out with lots of people.
But I definitely, yeah, have
not exactly what I would call confidence.
I feel pretty awkward in a lot of situations.
But, yeah.
I'm able to cover it up well enough, I guess.
- Assumptions people most likely make about me
is that I am probably very standoffish,
that I have a chip on my shoulder maybe?
They'd probably think that I'm a party girl.
That I have my life together!
But in reality it's just I am incredibly shy,
and I am incredibly insecure.
And I don't think that they would realize
that I have never had any type of dating
or relationship experience.
- Your name is Jeffrey and this is your story.
You're 28, for work you're a musician.
You grew up in New Orleans.
Your cultural or ethnic background is caucasian.
- My name is Bob.
This is my story.
I am 33 years old.
I am a video editor.
I grew up in Chicago, and my ethnic background is white.
Caucasian.
Your name is Lucy, and this is your story.
You are 29 years old.
You are a veterinarian.
You grew up in New York.
And, your ethnic background is white.
- My name is Gabrielle.
I'm 25 years old.
I'm a dance teacher.
I grew up in New Orleans.
And, my background is white.
- I think I got two of those right
- I think I got one
- It's okay, these are pretty hard.
I went with New York because I thought
a lot of people live there so it's a pretty good chance.
- Yeah .
No, I've never left here.
- Cool.
Well I'm happy that you thought
that I was also from here.
- It was the clothes.
I was like, "oh, I wonder if he's a musician"
- I definitely got all these clothes here.
So it makes sense.
- Why'd you think I was a veterinarian?
- I don't know.
You seemed like you'd be really nice to animals.
- Oh!
I'll take that!
The reason why I think that I am still single at 25
is I really don't get out much.
When I do get out it's usually with dance,
and dance isn't really that broad
of an area to find a partner with.
I've looked, but nothing's ever really kinda sparked there.
- I try to hang out with
as many various types of people as I can,
but I think a lot of the people
that I hang out with are creative.
I like to spend a lot of time alone, and recharge by myself,
but then I participate in a lot of extroverted activities.
- Give me a stage and I'm fine.
I can dance in front of
thousands of people and that's okay.
But if you give me a one-on-one, it's like, awful .
I forget that English is my first, I mean my only language.
- One thing your teenage self
would be most surprised to learn about your current self
is that you eat sushi.
You do have a passport.
You are an introvert.
It is important for your partner
to be close with your friends.
Your first online screen name was Gabbytown99.
And, you do believe in soul mates.
- Nice.
One thing that I would be surprise about
would be that I've been on TV.
I do not have a passport.
I am an introvert.
You're right.
It is not important for me
to have my partner close with my friends.
My first online screen name was GabG.
And I do believe in soul mates.
.
- Cool.
- One thing your teenage self
would be most surprised to learn about your current self
is that you're in a YouTube video.
You are an introvert.
You do have a passport.
It is not important for your partner
to be close with your friends.
Your first online screen name was Bob77.
And you do not believe in soul mates.
- One thing my teenage self would be most surprised to learn
about my current self is that I'm on a dating show.
I do have a passport.
And for the extrovert-introvert one, I circled both,
cause I consider myself both extroverted and introverted.
It is important for my partner
to be close with my friends.
My first online screen name was BobsScreenName
- Ah!
- And, I do believe in soul mates.
- Oh, cool!
- Yeah, you were right about me being surprised
about the YouTube show.
- That's a blast I could think of.
- You don't have a passport.
- I do not but I want one .
- Where would you go?
- I'm gonna turn into a cliche, but Greece.
I'd go to Greece for sure.
- That sounds awesome.
I've never been to Greece.
- Me either.
I haven't been out of the country obviously.
- Yeah.
- Why is it important for your partner
to be close with your friends?
- For me I like to have relationships that are
all fairly equal and balanced, and so I wanna make sure that
everyone is, I don't know, friends with everyone else.
- Get's along.
I get it, I get it.
Nice.
- I don't have very many relationships in my past.
Most of the relationships I've been in have been
polyamorous, and like, there was a lot of
figuring out exactly what that meant.
Definitely a lot more work than just some
monogamous relationship which is already a lot of work.
But, it is worth it, I think.
If everyone involved wants to be a part of it
it can make everyone much happier.
- I would be interested in marriage,
but I am not interested in starting a family.
I do not want children.
I am the oldest of five.
The youngest one will be 10.
I've dealt with babies.
They're cute, they're sweet.
But, it's just not for me.
Like, I feel that I am still insecure with myself
that I wouldn't want to bring someone up
with the issues that I still have with me.
- I don't want to get married because I want to make sure
that I have a balance in my relationships
with my romantic partner and with my friends and with myself
and marriage puts a lot of weight on one relationship,
and it's hard to keep that balance.
- The only thing more important than honesty
and communication in a relationship is humor.
Having children is important to you.
You do not want to get married sometime in the future.
You would not be okay with an open relationship.
The two most important things you need in a relationship are
comfort and a little adventure.
That's all I got.
- The only thing more important than honesty
and communication in a relationship for me is non-judgment,
though humor is a close second.
Having children is not important to me.
I don't
want to get married sometime in the future.
I would be okay with an open or polyamorous relationship.
The two most important things that I need
in a relationship are acceptance and honesty.
- For you, the only thing more important than honesty
and communication in a relationship is reliability.
Having children is important to you.
You do want to get married sometime in the future.
You would not by okay with an open
or polyamorous relationship.
The two most important things you need in a relationship are
care and friendship.
- That's so close .
My most important things besides honesty
and communication is loyalty.
I do not want children, it's not important to me.
I do
want to get married.
And I would not
be okay with an open relationship.
Two most important things for me are loyalty and happiness.
- Oh that's a good one.
I should have put that down
- .
So, you don't want kids.
- No. - No, me either.
- Never really interested me. - Same.
- I like being untethered.
- Me too!
Oh my God, yes!
- You should get a passport - I know!
- I am okay with open and polyamorous relationships
because that's most of the relationships I've been in.
- Really? - Yeah.
I have been in monogamous ones and it's been totally fine.
- Yeah, you prefer...
- You said you wouldn't be okay with a
polyamorous relationship.
Why not?
- It just kinda comes back to loyalty.
I find like I would want that one-on-one.
- Have you ever tried being in
an open or polyamorous relationship?
- I've never been in a relationship.
- Oh, okay!
- Yes.
.
Technically this is my first date.
- How's it going so far?
- Pretty cool. - Okay.
- No pressure!
- No, yeah, congratulations.
- Thanks
So, about an open relationship, what are some of that things
that people wouldn't really know at first glance.
- That it's freeing.
And I don't just mean like,
you can hook up with whoever you want.
There's a lot of tension and expectation that goes into
relationships, and they're there even in the happiest,
and being in a polyamorous relationship,
it's about communicating with everyone involved,
and making sure that everyone is heard and respected.
That just lets people relax and be themselves,
and not hide things from each other.
- Great, I like that!
You get one life.
Do you.
- Exactly, yeah.
When I first saw you I said that I would not date you.
- Okay
Now that've got to know you a little bit,
I still would not date you.
- All right.
When I first saw you,
I said that I would date you.
And now that I've gotten to know you I said
that I would not date you.
The only reason that I would say I wouldn't,
just cause in my point in life I'm not ready for,
you know, and open kind of relationship.
And you said that you, that's somethings that
you're looking to pursue.
But all around you're pretty cool.
Yeah!
- Likewise!
The only reason I said I wouldn't
in the beginning is cause I didn't know you at all.
And that's pretty weird
- No I hear you. - To go on a date
with a complete stranger.
I would say one of the main reasons that I said
I wouldn't in the end is the open relationship thing.
Cause, yeah.
It's pretty important to me.
You should definitely try relationships in whatever way
feels comfortable, especially if it's your first time.
- No I get it.
I get it.
Well this has been fun.
- Yeah! - Yeah I like this
- Congratulations on your first date!
- Thanks!
That's so sad. - You passed
No it's cool.
All right - All right.
Well.
Nice to meet you. - Likewise.
As far as talking to someone about polyamory
for the first time, this went pretty well.
I mean, she was open to the ideas
and seemed supportive of them.
Some people are really resistant.
- What I'll tell people now is that
well my first date was with cameras on YouTube
- This was sort of an experiment to see if
I could handle something like this.
And I'm alive, so, I guess it worked.
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This was Tell My Story.
This was my story.
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