- In between, literally, childhood memories.
Like me and my sister carving a pumpkin and then,
literally the next shot was like,
a woman's leg up and like,
Madonna licking very close.
- How long did you live in a van for?
- About a year and a half.
- Jesus Christ.
- I felt like I was a little Hobbit
that was going on this unexpected journey.
I was taking the ring to Mordor.
- So, your family was watching some home videos?
- Yeah, we were watching some very nice home videos
of us, growing up as children.
And then my father, Peter.
Did you know the Madonna book that came out?
In the 80's. - Sex.
- Sex. Yes.
So, my father got a hold of this book and decided
to film several pages of it.
I guess in the basement, I'm not sure where he took it.
In between, literally, childhood memories.
Like, me and my sister carving a pumpkin
and then, literally the next shot was like,
a woman's leg up and Madonna like,
licking very close to the labia and um--
- So, your dad's not a real sentimental guy?
- I mean, he is a nice guy,
I feel bad, he's not like,
this makes him sound like a pervert.
- I don't need the videos.
I lived it.
But this Madonna thing, oh my god, so he...
- It was a lot.
- So that was in, how old were you guys?
You were watching this?
- This was last year.
So we were watching it and like, literally this happened.
I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life.
And my dad was like trying to change it,
my mom's like you're a fucking pervert,
like screaming--
- You laughed?
- Never laughed harder in my whole life.
Like, seeing, just cause it was like,
we watched hours of footage.
Like, literally like, probably 10 DVD's
and then we're on the tenth one.
Like, this is a lot I get it we were cute as fuck,
and then it cuts to this, we're like whoa
this is just right out of left field.
And it was a lot of pages.
- How mortified was he?
- Oh very!
He was sweating and he couldn't get the DVD thing changed
and he was like fiddling,
dropped the remote, it was quite the ordeal.
- And your mother was flipping out?
- Flipping out, called him a pedophile.
I'm like, I don't know how this is.
There's no children involved,
I don't know why my dad's a pedophile now.
I don't understand.
She's, I swear to God,
I thought they were getting a divorce.
It was insane.
- I can almost see the through line there.
It's because you were cutting from your kids,
little and cute.
- Yes.
- Carving a pumpkin to Madonna licking on a pussy.
- And like, it wasn't just like one page.
Like, he was flipping, and those old cameras,
they're hard to zoom in.
- Well, I mean that's an expensive book now.
He probably got it on eBay.
I feel bad for your dad, where it's like
he has to hide all these urges.
So, he probably bought this book on eBay,
then he's like, I gotta get rid of the evidence.
Where will she never think?
So I'll just film this and he's like,
he's so repressed like (panting).
Just looking at (talking over each other).
Does he not know about like, internet porn?
- Well, this is before internet porn.
This was like, this is like 1980, what, nine.
So that's right before.
- Oh, I thought you said this happened a year ago.
- No, we just saw the video a year ago.
But like, the footage was from when we were children.
So that's why it was before porn,
so I'm like I guess it's better than
him going to like, 7-11 and leafing
through a fucking whatever the hell books
they have there.
- That's what he should've said.
Hey, I could've fucked around on ya,
instead of filming a book!
- He should've said that.
- Am I still here? I'm still here, right?
Wow.
- And then it cut right to like,
literally like, I would say he filmed
like, and there was several chapters of it.
He filmed like, maybe six chapters?
And then it went right back to me and my sister
running down Christmas morning.
Like it didn't make sense how it,
it's so comically perfect the way
it's synced together, it was the best.
And then my friend bought the book
for him on eBay and gave it to him.
- I have to tell you, I like your dad.
- I was supposed to go to engineering college
but I didn't because I got into theater arts.
I saw some Dave Chappelle interview
and he was saying all these things
and he said being funny was a marketable skill.
And once I heard that I was like,
"Oh, wait a minute, this is a little bit easier
than doing all these math equations."
Somehow I switched my major and then
it like, I wasn't able to do it so
I had to pay for theater arts.
I only went for like, a semester.
And then dropped out, and started doing real standup.
- And is that how you ended up in like,
living in a van?
- Oh, no, so how did I end up living in a van?
So, I used to go--
- I'll tell you how!
You stopped majoring in engineering
and you went for theater arts!
That is a one-way ticket to living in a van.
- Yeah, I mean, but the kids there
they were all silly, theater arts kids
and they were just,
everything was about the Stanislavsky method
and the acting and it was like,
I don't need this stuff.
So I was like, I'm done with that,
and I started hitting the clubs
and it was like--
- That's a reoccurring theme for you.
Engineering. Theater.
Get this out of here.
- I didn't need that stuff.
- So now you start doing standup, all right.
- Yeah so, I started doing standup,
I was going to the clubs, all that stuff.
You know, I'm making my way up
and then I started like a group of comedians
and we would just travel and do different shows,
it was called the Motown Laugh King.
I'm from Detroit, and it would do that stuff
and um, and then like,
I went to, okay, so my buddy was driving
to New York, and I was riding with him.
And he was gonna do Live at The Apollo.
He was gonna audition.
I hadn't signed up to audition.
So, I went there just to help him
with the driving and it was like, 90 degrees,
so I was like I'm not gonna stay in the van
with you, I'm gonna, you know
or just waiting for you, it's too hot.
So I went in.
I figured by the time they find out
I'm not supposed to be in here,
you know, it'll be time to go.
So I go in, they're like,
"Hey, what are you doing?
You can't be in here.
Are you auditioning?"
I was like, "Yes, I'm auditioning."
- You said that?
- Yeah, and I just lied my way.
- And how long you been doing standup?
- I was doing about three, four years by then.
- I never would've had the balls to do that.
(talking over each other)
- I was just trying to keep cool.
Cause it was so hot outside.
So I'm like, you know, by the time they find out
I don't, they don't have my paperwork, you know, whatever.
So I'm like, "yeah I'm auditioning".
And I just kept lying my way to the top
and then I ended up auditioning.
And I got it.
And they flew me back up to New York,
Live at The Apollo, and I won a thousand dollars.
- That's a professional shoot.
What are you doing here?
I'm starring in the movie.
All right, and, action!
- Yeah, I won a thousand dollars.
- And you went out there and that was like
the real deal where they like would boo you
if you didn't do well.
- Yeah, yeah, and they did boo.
But I was a part--
- But not you?
- Well they, one lady booed me
so I was, I was like--
- It's always that one, I did The Apollo.
It's the same, there's always that one jerk.
- Yeah, I did the, I don't know
if it was the real Apollo, 'cause like
for BET, so it's like The Apollo show.
So, all I had do was not get booed in 60 seconds,
and like, if I lasted 60 seconds,
you won a thousand dollars.
I lasted 60 seconds.
Took that thousand dollars and then bought a van
and drove out here.
To LA, and I live in a van.
- So how long you been doing this?
- Nine years?
- Nine years.
- Starting 2010, yeah.
- So then you lived, how long did you live in the van for?
- About a year and a half.
- Jesus Christ!
- Year and a half.
It was cool.
It's cool.
- It's not cool.
Where do you shower?
- Uh, LA Fitness and you know.
- Now did you have a membership there
or you just lie your way in?
- No, I had a membership!
- I'm working out, I'm a personal trainer.
- No, I had a membership, I never worked out,
even though when you go in they say, "Enjoy your workout",
and like, lady I've been coming here for a year,
my body hasn't changed at all.
(laughing heartily)
You don't know that I'm fucking not working out?
I'm showering lady.
I go in, I come out, I'm done.
- I know, you're coming in and out in twenty minutes.
They never see you on a machine.
Yeah, I'm here for the toiletries.
- Brushing my teeth, I'm picking my hair out,
"Enjoy your workout!"
Like no lady, I'm not doing that.
- Well that, man, that's an incredible story.
- Like any comic, you've done all like the,
all the hell gigs coming up
and everybody's got their stories
but you've got a hell of a one.
You did standup on a bus which I almost did one time
but Patrice and all those guys teased me so bad
I gave it, I can't say who I gave it to,
but he did the gig, but it was just a quick ride
up to a stadium.
Yankee Stadium to get World Series tickets, but you--
- Mine was not a quick ride,
my bus ride experience was I showed up
to the downtown LA Police Precinct
at 7:30 in the morning and this bus
was going from LA to Primm Nevada
for, it was the retreat for about 40 or 50 cops.
And they booked me to be the entertainment
on the bus on the way there and on the way back.
So, it was standup, it was a lot of crowd work,
it was raffle, you know,
giving away Erik Estrada bobbleheads during the show.
- Weren't they all just boozing and telling stories with--
- That's exactly what they were doing.
But everybody thinks that standup is just this thing,
"Oh, well we'll bring a comedian involved
and they'll make it funny."
And what people seem to not realize is that well,
standup is this weird thing that
needs to be in the right environment.
Or else, if it's not conducive to comedy
it's not gonna work, and so on a bus,
it's not really--
- How did you survive that?
- So what I did is that, I get up there
and I do crowd work for about an hour,
I start telling some jokes,
and I got into a rhythm with a few of the cops
to where that night, we get to Primm Nevada,
and I go out drinking with all of them.
And they were the coolest people,
to the point where to this day,
I will still get emails from one of them.
I think he's in like, the FBI now.
And he's just like checking in,
he's like, "Hey man, you doing okay?
You ever get in any trouble, you call me."
So now I have this (laughing).
- You had a good four hour set.
- I don't know if I had a good four hour set, but--
- Dude, I would've drank with those guys
so much, it'd be like, guys,
can you just pay me half the money
and can I just ride back on the bus?
I just don't wanna fucking do this again, okay?
- You know what we did so on the way back,
they had seen my set and again,
I hadn't been standup that long
and so I think they realized what we were in for,
so on the way back I introduced
the two movies that we watched.
- That's it.
And then you were done.
- All right guys, this next one,
Richard Linklater, 1993, "Dazed and Confused."
I'm taking a nap.
- Oh my God, I would've shown them like,
"Lord of the Rings" like,
the longest movie I can think of.
- Here's the director's cut of
"The Fellowship of The Ring",
that's what it felt like!
I felt like I was a little Hobbit,
that was going on this unexpected journey.
I was taking the ring to Mordor, Bill,
and I gotta tell you, that volcano's a long way.
There's no eagle helping out.
- But you know something?
It's because you do those gigs
that that ends up leading to doing something like this.
(rock end theme playing)