Amy, you're my best friend.
We do everything together.
We love to have tea parties.
And dance parties.
(woman) Get ready for a day
of fun and glamour
when you're hanging out with Amy,
the official Amy Schumer doll.
Look, she's spicing up her coffee.
Glamorous. (alarm clock ringing)
1:00 P.M.! We're allowed to wake her up now.
She's waking up in a stranger's bed again.
She's so popular.
(record skipping) Uh-oh.
No wrappers on the floor.
Time for Plan B.
Amy comes complete with a variety of accessories,
including a purse for her essentials
that you can dump on the table.
What's in your purse, Amy?
Birth control, Lexapro, dusty candy corn,
and a business card from a Tekserve employee
that gave her a vibe.
Amy also comes with a six-pack of cranberry juice
to help her UTI.
You'll feel better soon, Amy.
Dress her in three different outfits
that hide her problem areas:
a crop top...
This shows off her tramp stamp.
...skinny jeans to keep in the closet...
For someday.
...and one nice thing for court.
(gavel bangs)
(girls laughing)
It's okay, Amy,
you can fall asleep in your clothes again.
Don't forget to sleep on your side.
(Amy retching)
It's Amy, the official Amy Schumer doll
from the makers of Fat Babs.