Heya playa, have you ever been called a creep by a girl before?
It's a really hurtful thing to hear and it might leave you wondering, what can I do to
change it.
Well, in this video I want to share five things that guys do that make them come off as creepy.
Five things that you can start working on and stop doing.
I'll share those with you right after this.
This is The Josh Speaks, you're watching The Josh Speaks.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and I make videos sharing tips, ideas
and stories teaching you how to be your best self and I really want to dive into the first
things that guys do that make them come off as creepy, they tend to linger around the
girl that they're talking to.
Lingering is basically just sticking around and hanging out there after a conversation
has ended.
It can usually make that moment awkward because no one's talking to each other, no one knows
what to say and everyone just kind of wants to get out of that uncomfortable place.
Sometimes though, guys don't really that that's exactly what they're doing.
Maybe after they've finished talking to the girl they kind of just stand there and don't
really say anything.
And kind of just look at her and make her feel uncomfortable.
And chances are she won't say anything because she wants it to end without making it even
more awkward by addressing it.
So, both people kind of just remains silent.
Another way that guys linger is that they continue to try to make that conversation
happen even after the girl has already shown disinterest in having it.
They'll keep asking questions even after she's already given them short, abrupt, disinterested
answers.
They don't really catch on to the fact that she doesn't want to engage with them yet they
continue to do it.
So the way to prevent yourself from lingering and making things awkward is to ask her for
her number, ask her for her contact information if you feel the two of you are getting along
or say something simple like "Well it was nice talking to you, we'll catch up later,
bye!" and then walk away.
Don't really feel drawn into the idea that I need to keep talking to her because maybe
the more I talk to her, maybe she'll end up liking me.
It doesn't really work like that.
The second creepy thing that guys tend to do is to try to contact the girl outside of
the context of how they know them.
For example, let's say the girl you talk to is someone you talk to regularly in class.
Well, going around and somehow getting her phone number, either through a school directory
or a friend and then contacting her that way is gonna freak her out.
I've also heard stories of guys that go out of their way to contact a girls job to get
their attention.
Guys, it's just a weird thing to do because if a girl hasn't given you that contact information
or told you that that's a way to reach out to her she's gonna feel like you're stalking
her or kind of just observing her in all these weird random ways that she doesn't know about.
The key here really is consent.
If the girl doesn't consent to how you're choosing to communicate with her then I wouldn't
choose that method at all.
So, what then should you do if you have no other way of contacting or communicating with
this girl?
Well, this is one of those cases where if the girl doesn't give you a direct way to
contact her you have to cut your losses.
Another alternative might be if you know some of her friends, to talk to them to let them
know that you're interested in her and to see if the friends can bring you together.
Don't do anything behind her back that may make her wonder, how did this guy get to me?
Why is he doing this and why didn't he just come to me directly?
The third creepy thing that guys tend to do is send girls tons of messages in a row without
any kind of response from them.
Now I've seen this tons of times, guys have shown me text messages and asked what did
I do wrong and when I see them it's just a string of comments from them saying "Hey.
Hey.
How are you.
What are you up to.
What are you doing.
How's it going."
Guys trust me on this if the girl didn't respond to your first hey, she's not going to respond
to the fifteenth hey.
So you need to change up your strategy if you think the more you message her, the better
chance you have of being seen by her when she goes back and reads all of those messages,
she's going to be a little freaked out.
If you send a lot of messages like that it can be super overwhelming for her.
She might start to feel like man, this guy is not gonna stop until he gets what he wants.
And that's not in the good way, that's actually in the bad way.
Girls highly admire a guy that's persistent but they have to be on that journey with you.
You can't just keep badgering them with things until you get what you want.
So if you send her a message and she doesn't respond, what should you do then?
Well, like I said before I think approaching her friends, talking to them seeing if they
can bring the two of you together is one solution, another solution is if you see her in person,
try to talk to her there.
Don't take the route of online, and Facebook and Instagram and Snapchat if you have the
opportunity to talk to her in person.
And if you can't talk to her in person and really the only thing you can do is to shoot
her a DM, don't have high hopes and don't badger her.
If she see's it, she see's it.
If she doesn't, she doesn't.
You're really shooting in the dark anyway so don't put all your energy on that.
The fourth thing that guys do is that they show way too much affection for girls that
they barely even know.
They might even tell the girls that they're beautiful, that they love them, that they're
amazing and they don't really know anything about them.
I've seen guys shower girls with compliments, and confessions of love and gifts and all
these different things to try to win over their attention but the girls are just not
interested because the guys are doing too much too soon.
Now I get it, the girl that you like is beautiful and amazing and you want to just show her
how you feel.
But you have to start doing that in stages.
First start hanging out with her, then start talking to her more often, learn a little
bit more about her personality.
The more you two flirt and connect, the easier it'll be for you to start revealing how you
feel little by little and she could be on board because it's not too much.
Guys sometimes think that if they constantly compliment a girl on how beautiful she is
that she's somehow going to go "Wow, this guy really stands up for himself.
This guy really is unique.
This is the kind of guy I want to be with."
and that's just not true.
She's probably gonna see you as a guy who could easily be won over just by someone's
looks.
You don't even need to get to know someone before you like them, and that's not the kind
of guy she's probably looking for.
So the solution here is to be open but also a little reserved.
Don't showcase too much about how you feel in the beginning.
Let her know that "hey, you seem like a cool person.
I want to get to know you better to see if we click".
If you come from those grounds, she's also going to recognize that that's what she should
be doing too.
And the two of you can start to reveal layer after layer as you get closer.
And the fifth thing that guys do that makes them super creepy is that they expect something
from a girl just by being kind to her.
You won't believe how many guys think that just by being a genuinely a nice person that
the girl should automatically fawn over them.
Where it gets really creepy is that sometimes guys will act nice towards a girl that they
really like and then when they finally reveal that they like the girl but the girl doesn't
like them back, the just instantaneously drop that nice guy thing and act really mean to
her, act really angry, act really hurt and just kind of reveal this whole other side
that she had no clue that was there.
This is kind of what happens to guys in the friend zone.
They kind of flip the switch once they find out that the girl they're pursuing or being
nice to doesn't like them back.
And the reality is, no one owes you anything.
You should just be kind just because you're a good person, not because you're trying to
get on her good side to get her to like you.
And I really really mean this, don't fake being a gentleman.
If you're a good, kind-hearted person you should also have an edge to you.
They shouldn't be mutually exclusive but if you're only going to pretend to be a good,
kind-hearted person with the intent that the girl is going to owe you something in the
end, then I think you're going about the game the whole wrong way.
So what should you do here?
Let's say you fall into the nice guy category.
The kind of guy where girls like being around, like talking to but they just don't want to
date.
In those type of situations, you need to re-evaluate who you are and what you want.
You may not be being honest about how you feel and by that, I mean how you interpret
the world.
Not how you feel specifically about this girl.
And that just means sharing your opinions, being vocal, standing up, pursuing the things
that you want, not letting people shut you down for it.
Just kind of being your own man.
If you can be your own man and not be held back by the opinions and feelings of others,
even this girl that likes you, then I think it's easier to try to move in to pursue something
with her.
If it doesn't work out hey, no problem.
I'll move on and find someone else.
You're not beholden to what she thinks about you.
And when guys are, that's what makes them super creepy.
They come off looking like a two-face to that girl and they're just not honest about it.
But now I want to know, what do you think?
Have you ever been called a creep by a girl?
Do you do any of these things that I mentioned?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
I know I dropped a lot here and you might not want to share your story in a public YouTube
comment so you can always shoot me a DM over on Snapchat or Instagram.
I do my best to answer as many messages as I can.
Otherwise thank you for watching, hit that thumbs up button.
If you are new here, make sure to subscribe and definitely check out those videos I have
over there on the side if you want to keep learning how to improve your behavior.
How to not fall into the same traps and make the same mistakes that you always do which
leads you to never end up developing anything with the girls that you like.
Check those videos out and I'll see you guys next time.
As always, love and peace.