It's good to see you.
Good to see you.
You look good.
You looking sleepy?
No, no.
I had some coffee to balance everything out.
All right then.
She ready.
I'm ready.
I usually just have one cup, so I had two.
You had two?
Yep.
All right.
[LAUGHTER]
I believe you.
I'm not high, I'm just, you know.
Mm-hm!
I just have some Advil and Tylenol and stuff.
Mm-hm!
[LAUGHTER]
I want some of whatever you got from that doctor.
I'll have the doctor give you a shot in your butt.
Yes!
As long as it's not the Depo shot.
I'm trying let these eggs flow.
Oh, really?
No.
Oh.
I thought you were going to let us in on something.
No.
The last time you were here, you were with Elisabeth Moss
and Melissa McCarthy.
Are those the names of the people?
Yes.
Those are the names.
Yeah.
So we tried to scare Melissa but we got you accidentally.
Yeah.
You know, I don't like--
here's my thing.
I'm from the streets.
Now anybody jump out on me--
Sure.
--you liable to get hit.
And I was afraid.
Yeah?
But more so for them because I was about to hit somebody.
Right.
OK.
You see how that arm came back?
Because it was gonna come back like this.
Yeah.
You'd had gotten Elisabeth.
You would've hit her in the face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I do worry about that happening one day.
Now, do you like to get scared?
No, I don't.
Except for one time during the year
I'll go to like a haunted house or to like
Universal or something like that for Halloween time.
Right.
And all my year's frustration I store up.
So when I go there and people scare me
I could just scream out all my pain and all those tweets,
all those comments people leave that I don't like.
It all comes out right there!
Wow.
I like that.
Well that's when you're going to punch somebody, right there.
Well, no.
I scream so hard that my fist don't come--
Let's do it together.
Do you want to go through one together for Halloween?
Sure.
Yeah.
You know, Andy, we send him every year.
If you haven't seen Andy's, they're--
I've seen Andy.
OK.
But we should maybe the three of us go.
Oh, yeah, let's go.
All right, I'll go because I haven't been through one.
You haven't?
No, I never have.
And there are some scary ones this year.
Let me tell you, I don't do dead people.
OK.
I don't do dead people.
If dead people show up it's going to be a situation.
OK.
But anything else scary is fine, just not dead people?
Not dead people.
All right, fine.
We'll find one with dead people.
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, of course you tell us that, we're
going to have to do that.
When are you turning--
Well then, no sexy men.
I'm very afraid.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm very, very afraid of attractive males.
If you've got any of them there with no shirt on, [SQUEALS]
So scary!
All right.
Well, we'll listen to you on that one.
We will not bring them around.
So when are you turning 40?
Soon, right?
I'm never going to be 40, but I am turning 21 for the 19th year
really soon.
In December I'll be 21 for the 19th year.
Come on.
There's nothing wrong with-- you should embrace that.
I am embracing it for the 19th time of me turning 21.
No.
I understand.
And you look really good.
I heard that you made some changes to your life.
What have you done?
Yeah.
Well, I've stopped smoking--
Good for you.
--a year ago.
[APPLAUSE]
A year ago?
A year ago.
How did you do it?
YouTube videos is how I stopped smoking.
I watched the YouTube videos of "Easy Way to Stop Smoking"
and We Can Hypnotize You in Eight Hours to Stop Smoking."
And I would play those while I sleep.
And then after like five days, I just
didn't want to smoke no more.
Now I have been eating like it ain't nobody's business.
And so to counteract that I started--
on the 4th of July when I stopped smoking a year
ago-- the 4th of July this year, I started working out.
And I found some cheat machines.
So I've been doing like a cheat machine
that you only work out for 20 minutes
and it's equivalent to working out for a whole week.
It's rich people stuff.
[LAUGHTER]
What machine is this?
What are you talking about?
It's called the cheat machine.
Girl, I'll send you the stuff later.
OK.
Because I don't want everbody to go to there because then I
won't get my 20 minutes, you feel me?
Well, if we say it maybe they'll give you another one free.
What's the name of it?
It's just called the cheat machine?
I know it as the cheat machine and a co-hip machine.
There's three machines.
There's two cheat machines and then a co-hip machine.
Then they got this other machine that squeeze your legs.
And then they got another machine where you ride the bike
and you put this face mask on and it
looks like you turned me to a Transformer,
but what you transforming into is a sexy model.
[APPLAUSE]
All right.
It's a place in Santa Monica called Bulletproof.
That's where they are?
Mm-hm.
But here's why I don't trust any of what you just said.
Because I read this morning in the meeting preparing for this,
that you put Vicks VapoRub rub on your stomach because why?
Because it helps to eliminate fat cells.
That is not true.
Yes it does!
OK, let me tell you something.
What is fat made of?
Mucus.
When do you use Vicks VapoRub--
No its not.
--to put on your chest?
To get rid of mucus.
[LAUGHING, APPLAUSE]
Something else I learned from YouTube.
I learned that on YouTube.
It works.
No, no.
It makes you smooth for a day.
Let me just explain to you that fat is not made of mucus.
What is fat made of?
It's fatty tissue in your body.
What is fatty tissue?
Well it's not mucus.
When you melt it it is.
[LAUGHTER]
When you melt fat it's mucus?
It's mucus.
No it is not.
Yes it is.
And you put it on everyday thinking you're--
I don't put it on everyday.
Just mostly at night and I rub it on my stomach and then
I Saran wrap it. then I put my corset on.
I've lost three inches on my waistline.
Don't be hating.
[APPLAUSE]
I'm melting it.
You can put butter or mayonnaise.
If you're putting cellophane--
But see, I don't do dairy products.
[LAUGHTER]
That is where fat is made of.
That's right.
Which is what?
Mucus.
No, it is not.
Yes it is.
No it isn't.
Milk, milk, mucus.
milk--
All right.
--milk, mucus.
During this break, we're going to have someone look up
what fat is made of.
Mucus.
Which is fat.
Made of mucus.
We'll take a break.
We'll be back with Tiffany.