Hey, what ya doing?
Cutting up a big trash can.
You cut up the janitor's entire trash can?
He's got another one.
Jade, listen, I read your play and I think it's really good.
I'm not your friend.
Well.
Anyway, if the school won't let me do my play,
then who cares if it's good?
Why don't you just produce your play yourself?
You know how much money that would cost?
No.
Did she cut up that whole trash can
with just a pair of scissors?
How much do you think
it'd really cost to produce your play?
I don't know. Two, three grand.
Okay. Well, then it shouldn't be that hard
to find someone to put up the money.
You'd really find me someone to put up
the money to produce my play?
- I meant that-- - Hey!
Did she not say, "It shouldn't be that hard
to find someone to put up the money"?
She did. [speaking indistinctly]
So you'll do that, right?
Sure.
Good.
So... So now what? We hide in here forever?
Just till Jade is calm.
So forever.
Maybe. Or maybe she'll get her anger out
by, I don't know, strangling a bear.
[screaming]
Oh!
- Thank God it's you. - We thought you were Jade.
You want to go get her? She's--
No!
What's up with you guys?
Andre and I were trying to--
I got dragged into this.
It was your idea to pay a guy--
No, you came to me and I--
- Hey! - No!
Yeah, I should've told ya.
This is a bad place to hide from Jade.
I oughta take this and kill you both with it.
How could you kill us with toilet paper?
Put it down. Put it... down.
What are you all wazzed off about?
These two butt cheeks paid a guy to ask me out on a date.
We were trying to help.
Why do I need your help?
Cause guys are scared to ask you out.
That's how I like it.
I got dragged into this.
- See, we thought-- - You thought.
We thought... if you got asked out
by a guy, you'd be more okay if Beck asked out a girl.
Oh, my God, how many times do I have to say it?
I don't care who you date.
We broke up. Ask out any girl you want.
See, I said you should've just asked out Meredith.
Meredith?!
- Jade. - I knew it.
I knew it two years ago
when you were in that awful play with her.
I think I wrote that play.
And Meredith was always like,
"Oh, Beck, why don't you come over my house
so we can rehearse our lines.
Oh, Beck, I brought you some cupcakes."
Meredith brings everybody cupcakes.
Her dad owns a cupcake shop.
He does?
Yeah. Frank's cupcakes.
[gasping] Ooh, they're good.
Yeah, they make some legit cupcakes.
You know what? I don't care.
Go out with Meredith. Enjoy her cupcakes.
How can she kill you with it?
Beck.
- Let me out. - Cat.
This is kidnapping. Or cat napping.
[giggling]
Open the door.
I'm sorry.
And I'm not just saying, "I'm sorry",
I'm really, really seriously sorry.
You sprayed cheese on me and then kissed my boyfriend.
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
Why would you be mean to me?
I don't know.
Maybe I did still have a few tiny little feelings
left for Danny.
And maybe that's why I went a little crazy.
Seeing you two being all mushy together.
You could've just talked to me about it.
I know. What I did was terrible and awful and immature.
And you have every right to be furious with me.
I swear, Cat, if I were you,
I'd just punch me right in the face.
Ow!
Cat!
What?
You just punched me in the face.
You said to.
I know, but that's just something people say. Ow!
Does it hurt?
A lot.
I think my nose may be broken.
Well, now I feel all bad.
Don't. I deserved it.
- Feel better? - I think so.
I'm sorry.
[chuckles]
Will you take me to a hospital, now?
Sure.
I invited my dad to come see my play on opening night.
- And? - He hates me.
Uh... but why would anyone hate you?
He doesn't understand creative people.
He thinks that wanting to be an actor
or writer or director is stupid. So I invited him to my play
cause I thought it was going to be really good
and hopefully make him finally have some respect for me.
But then you let your restaurant lady
turn it into a joke, which is just gonna make
my dad think he was absolutely right
about my dreams being stupid and pointless.
Thank you for ruining my life.
[scoffs] Dads.
Thanks, Tori.
That really helps put things in perspective.
Hello, Sinjin.
Oh, my God, this is exactly how I dreamed it would happen.
Listen, I need you to do something for me,
and you can't tell anyone.
I understand.
Good. Now what I need you to do is...
Sinjin?
Don't talk, you'll ruin it.
[groaning]
This isn't about kissing.
And that's how the dream always ends.
Dude, you know, all those cool props
and scenery pieces you made for the play
Beck was in last month?
Yeah?
I need you to build something for me.
Like what?
Something big enough for me to hide in
and spy on the Ping Pong team during their next practice,
because I swear there's something wonky going on
with those guys, and I'm going to get to the bottom
of that wonk.
Do you know what you sprayed me with
cause I'm starting to lose vision in my right eye?
Here's a rag.
So will you build me something
I can put in the rec room and hide in?
- Sure. - Yay! Thanks, Sinjin.
[kissing]
Here comes that feeling.
I heard that.
Kidnapper.
This is not funny.
Right. What's funny is you freaking out
over a dumb game show.
We were voted worst couple
and the other two couples weren't even real couples.
And one had Robbie in it.
Why do you care if we were voted worst couple?
It's a matter of-
[gasping] Is this a closet party?
Look, I have spoons.
Cat, come here.
We need your opinion on something.
On global warming?
No.
Cause I don't think that's really happening.
Cat.
Seriously. I went to the movies the other night
and it was so cold.
- Cat. - Hi.
We need your opinion on us.
Why not just ask a monkey?
I saw a movie about a monkey.
He wore glasses and carried a gun.
Don't you think Jade and I fight a lot?
- Sure. - Yeah, but- but all boyfriends
and girlfriends fight a lot, don't they?
- Well, sometimes we-- - Yes or no?
Let her talk.
- You never listen to me talk. - Can I go now?
No! What is your point here, anyway?
I would like to have a girlfriend
I can talk to you without it turning
into a screaming match.
Yeah, well, I'd like a boyfriend.
who other girls don't stare at all the time.
I thought this was a closet party.
How is it my fault girls stare at me?!
Oh, you could look worse if you wanted to.
I'm under my bed. I'm under my bed.
I'm under my bed.
I can't believe how jealous you get.
Oh. Oh, so you think I'm ugly?
Wha-?
Who s- did I say she was ugly?
No. Cat thinks we're a perfect couple.
Cat, are Jade and I a perfect couple?
- Don't answer that! - Answer it.
- Say nothing! - Come on.
You come on!
Well, you made Cat faint.
I'm late for class.
And be sure to tell all your friends
to follow me on TheSlap.
And now, the contest begins.
What are you doing?
Uploading a video to TheSlap.
But we were all supposed to meet in Sikowitz's room at 7:30.
I had the stabolin all ready for you.
Well, I'm busy getting more followers.
See, I'm having this contest,
cause contests are one of the best ways
to get more followers.
What kind of contest?
It's called, Where's Robbie?
See, every hour, I tweet a video of myself in a secret location,
and my first follower who finds me gets a cool prize.
So what prize did you offer just now?
My sneakers.
Well, we really need to get to work on our film,
so why don't we go-- Hey!
There he is.
[screaming]
I get that Meredith likes me and maybe I could like her...
but, you know, Jade.
You and Jade broke up months ago.
Yeah, but when we were dating...
one summer, Meredith and I were in a play together.
And it made jade like crazy jealous.
Oh. Okay, and if she found out that you were snoodling
with Meredith now...
Jade would explode like Trina's too tight pants.
So, your plan is to live the rest of your life
being scared of Jade?
[scoffs]
Well, that's not my only plan.
Someday I'd like to plant a vegetable garden.
You know what'd make Jade not care
if you started dating a new girl?
If the new girl had no head?
No. If she was dating a new guy.
None of the guys at this school will ask her out.
- Why not? - Because Jade is terrifying.
All she has to do is look at most guys
and they start shaking. And peeing.
There's got to be some guy at Hollywood Arts
who'll ask out Jade.
Not that I was listening at the door...
but I'm currently between girlfriends.
And now we're in a closet.
How can Beck not want me back? I'm so cool and hot.
I've got it all.
Yeah, but guys don't just care
about how cool and hot you are.
What else is there?
Beck said you haven't done one nice thing
for him in two years.
That is so not true.
We've only dated a year and 11 months.
Well, maybe he'd take you back
if you did something nice for him.
You mean like make him fresh lemonade?
If you want Beck back,
you're gonna have to think bigger than beverages.
A dog.
Okay, if you're gonna be rude-
No. No, Beck's always saying how he wants a dog,
a, a rottenheimer.
- A rottweiler? - Yes. That's what he wants.
Okay, what's our next move?
Just get the boy a dog.
Go, go, out. Out now. Run.
That's the last time, Vega.
That's the last time you run around these halls
singing about making things shine.
- I'm sorry. - You watch that mouth.
What did I say?
You know where you're going to be five years from now?
You're gonna be a big pop star.
Well, that sounds pretty cool.
Okay, Miss Pop Star, see if you can pop this.
Is that an arm pimple?
That's right.
We'll go ahead, pop star, pop it. Pop my arm pimple.
Ew.
I dare ya. Pop it.
- No! - Come on!
- You do it! - Get on it!
Do it, Vega!
I don't want to!
That's what I thought.
Sorry. I'm just trying to kill that fly.
[buzzing]
[locking]
[keys jingling]