Mel Robbins: If a problem that you’re facing can be solved with action, you don’t have a problem.
People spend a lot of energy complaining about their circumstances,
but when it comes the time to do something about it, they feel like they have no energy to use.
Complaining is easy, and that is why most people deal with their frustrations this way,
instead of making an effort to see things from another perspective and find solutions.
But continuing to act this way will bring nothing but disappointment.
We have the capacity within us to conquer anything we want, but at the same time,
our patterns of behavior stop us from doing so. We stroll unconsciously through life,
totally helpless until we understand that we have the power to change our lives completely.
If you have time to complain, you have time to overcome your obstacles.
You just have to be practical about it. Write down what bothers you and every single
thing you could do to solve those problems. When you visualize things written down,
you’ll realize just how much you can do if you harness your energy to action.
Get up and act! That is the way to change your life!
Mel Robbins: There's two kinds of worrying. There's the productive kind
and there's the destructive or unproductive kind. So what is a productive form of complaining?
Because complaining is the same thing. Complaining is like the opposite point of worry. Worrying is
about when you are thinking distress about the future and something that you can't control.
Complaining is when you are expressing distress about something that you can control. And there's
always two forms when you're doing it in the moment. One form is productive, you're worrying
about something and the worrying itself motivates you to take action to solve the problem you're
worrying about. That's productive. Destructive worrying is just ruminating and spinning thoughts
about something that's coming up and never doing anything about it. That will ruin your health,
it destroys your mindset. That's what you want to go to war against. Same thing is
true with complaining. If you are complaining and you're doing it and it is, it is for the purpose
of trying to solve a problem that's not the kind of complaining that I'm talking
about. So, for example, you know, if my daughter walks downstairs
in the morning which she often does and she says “oh I'm so exhausted”
and I say “well, if you'd go to bed a little bit earlier maybe you wouldn't be so tired.”
So I'm complaining about you know, I'm backhandedly complaining about the fact
that she stayed up too late, but I'm doing it for a productive reason. To try to get her to
understand the connection between when she goes to bed and how exhausted she is in the morning.
And so, you know, if you complain about your body and it's not making you feel sad but it makes you
mad and it makes you start to eat healthy, that's a productive kind of complaining. If you just sit
there and beat yourself up as you catch sight of yourself naked in the mirror, that's not a
productive or healthy form of complaining because you're doing nothing but making yourself wrong.
YOU can change your perspective. YOU can change your habits.
YOU can reset your mind! And all of those changes begin
with how you start your day. The way your day begins can
profoundly alter your mood, your focus, your productivity, and your capacity for action.
Having a mourning routine is essential to center yourself and evaluate your priorities.
You have to clear your mind of all outside influence when you wake up so you can
get in touch with yourself. Your wants and needs, your feelings.
That helps you create a sense of calmness that will help you throughout the rest of the day.
Mel Robbins: The number one thing about your morning routine is that the night before you
plug your phone in outside of your bedroom. You can leave the ringer on, turn notifications off,
if somebody needs to reach you they can call you but otherwise, you're going to bed.
That's number one. Number two, the second the alarm rings you are to wake up. No hitting the
snooze button. Yesterday I explained in great detail the scientific reason why you do not
want to hit the snooze button and the fact that based on research, it is medically proven
that when you hit the snooze button and doze off to sleep you put your brain in a state of sleep
inertia which impacts your ability to focus your ability to be positive your ability to process
information for up to four hours. That is why it is critical and step 2 of your morning routine is
when that alarm rings you five-four-three-two-one, use the five-second rule and get out of bed. Now
number three that's what we're talking about today. The third piece of your morning routine
is that for the first ten to thirty minutes of the day, the first ten to thirty minutes of the day,
that time is reserved for your dreams. That time is reserved for you. That time is time
that you need to protect. You are not to pick up your phone, do not turn on the television,
do not turn on the radio, no outside world input. All I want you to do for the first ten
to thirty minutes of the day is I want you to give those ten to thirty minutes to your dreams. I
think your dreams deserve ten minutes, don't you? And you're not going to give them ten minutes if
the first thing that you do is pick up your phone. It's just not going to happen. Your attention is
under siege all day long. All day long the world is trying to sell you something or they're trying
to serve up something that's salacious or tempting or curiosity provoking in order to get your limbic
system, which is the interior part of your brain, the fight-or-flight, the part of your brain that's
triggered by emotion and fear. They're trying to trick you to pay attention to things that just
don't matter to your dreams, to your day-to-day life, to your family and that is why it is
critical critical critical critical that the first 10 minutes are reserved for you and your dreams.
You have to start putting these things into practice NOW!
NOBODY is going to do it for you. Nobody is going to wake you up at the
right time and keep you from sleeping again. Nobody is going to tell you what you want,
what you need, and what your dreams are. YOU have to figure it all out.
You are solely responsible for the opportunities life gives you to do better every day.
The opportunity to improve yourself. The opportunity to shape your reality.
The opportunity to get what you want. Don’t waste it!
Mel Robbins: When you're an adult, you have to parent yourself. Here's the rub you're never ever
ever ever going to feel like doing the things you need to do in order to have what you want. You're
always going to need to push yourself, you're always going to need to parent yourself. So
what is the net advice on this, what, what is the bottom line? The bottom line is no one's coming.
No one. No one's coming to push you, no one's coming to tell you to turn the TV off, no
one's coming to tell you to get out the door and exercise, nobody's coming to tell you to apply for
that job that you've always dreamt about, nobody's coming to write the business plan for you,
it's up to you and because you're only ever gonna do the things that you feel
like doing right now or that feel good right now unless you understand that you've got to parent
yourself you got to push yourself you're not gonna make your dreams come true. You're just not,
we're not wired that way. You weren’t born that way, you weren't that way when you were growing
up and you're certainly not that way as an adult. And there's a tremendous amount of liberation
that comes when you accept the fact that you're always going to need to give yourself a push.
Voice over: Give yourself a push! Give yourself a push as many times as needed!
Changing your life is a process that starts with your mind and comes to fruition with your actions.
You have to put in the work! Your mind will try to stop you,
you won’t feel like doing anything. Ignore all of that.
Start small. Make yourself work for just 5 minutes.
Only that. And most of the time you will see it is way easier to keep going if you just START.
Start working and keep going until you make it. Every day, have the courage to start
and see how much you can achieve. No one can stop you when you master this!
Be the master of your mind and your actions and everything will change for the better.