Hi!
My name is Brad Browning, and I’m relationship coach and breakup expert… if you’ve watched
some of my other videos here on YouTube, you’ve probably heard me say that most relationships
can be salvaged… even months after a bad breakup, most people still have a very good
shot at winning back their ex.
Sadly, there are some cases where it really is a lost cause.
Thankfully, it’s rare that I receive an email from someone whose situation is truly
hopeless, but it does happen occasionally so I wanted to make a video to help those
of you who might be wondering if it’s time to give up trying to win back your ex.
Quite frankly, it’s not healthy to spend the rest of your life chasing after someone
who simply isn’t interested in being with you, so at some point you will need to move
on if you aren’t having any luck.
And in a moment, I’ll give you some tips that should help you decide when it’s time
to give up and get on with your life.
Before I get into that, though, let’s start with some good news: there’s no “on/off”
switch when it comes to getting back together with your ex.
Deciding that it’s time to move on doesn’t mean you’re shutting the door on that option
forever.
Now, just to be clear, if the situation becomes grim and your odds of success appear to very
slim, I do think there comes a point where it’s time to move on… but just because
you stop actively trying to get him or her back doesn’t mean that can’t happen down
the road.
Sure, you may choose to stop reaching out to your ex and to let go of the dream of getting
back together, but you can still say “yes” if he or she happens to phone you up one day
asking to give your long-lost love a second chance.
Essentially, what I’m saying is that you can stop trying to get your ex back without
actually ruining any shot of that ever happening.
Ok, so that’s the good news.
Now let’s move on and talk about some of the things you should consider when trying
to decide if you should give up and move on…
1.)
How Long Has It Been?
There’s no magic formula to determine how long is too long when it comes to re-uniting
with your ex.
I’ve had clients get back together with an ex they broke up with years ago… and
in many cases, time can actually be helpful, as it allows your ex to ‘forgive and forget’
and gives you a chance at starting over with a clean slate.
On the other hand, humans are naturally designed to conquer adversity and sorrow… your ex
won’t spend the rest of their life thinking about you and dreaming about the happy times
you had together.
For the first few months after your breakup, your ex will definitely feel the pain and
loneliness, just like you are… but if it’s been many months or even a year, then those
feelings will begin to fade, and that will hurt your chances of winning them back.
If you and your ex were only together for a few months, and the relationship wasn’t
particularly serious, then you probably only have a window of 2 or 3 months in which you
will be able to realistically win him or her back.
I know all of this sounds really technical and complicated, but if you watch the full-length
video on my website, www.BreakupBrad.com, I explain everything you need to know about
this subject, so head over there when you’re finished watching this video.
On the other hand, if you were married for years or your relationship was very serious
and you spent a long time together, then you may be able to win back your ex after months
or even a year apart.
Essentially, the longer you and your ex were together and the more serious your relationship
was, the more time you have to win them back.
2.)
Have You Kept In Touch?
How much time has passed since your breakup goes hand-in-hand with another issue: how
much contact have you had with your ex?
If you and your ex continue to be ‘on and off’ or you’ve spoken regularly since
the breakup (which, by the way, I don’t recommend), then the amount of time that’s
passed since your initial breakup will matter less than if you haven’t spoken at all.
If your ex hasn’t taken the initiative to contact you for weeks or months, then that’s
not a good sign.
On its own, not hearing from your ex doesn’t mean you should just give up all hope, but
if your ex isn’t trying to keep in touch or hasn’t taken any steps to reach out to
you, then that’s definitely not a positive sign.
3.)
Did The Relationship End Badly?
Some breakups are the result of major issues: cheating, excessive jealousy, constant fighting,
verbal or physical abuse, and so on.
If any of these major issues were the cause of your breakup -- or if the last weeks and
months of your relationship were plagued with fights and bitterness -- then your ex probably
isn’t going to be eager to get back together.
Obviously, any relationship that ends in a breakup had some problems, or else it wouldn’t
have collapsed in the first place… but if a significant event like cheating was the
root cause of the breakup, then trust can be permanently ruined, and rebuilding a healthy
relationship again may not ever be possible.
In my program, the Ex Factor Guide, I’ve included something that I call the “Clean
Slate Email”... this is an email template that you can send to your ex to help get over
some of these problems and erase any damage you may have done in the later stages of your
relationship or since the breakup.
For more details, please head over to my website, www.BreakupBrad.com, where you can watch my
free full-length video and pick up a copy of my Ex Factor program.
4.)
Was It That Great To Begin With?
This is another thing that many people fail to consider when they’re trying to get their
ex back.
I’ve made another video dedicated to this topic, so I won’t go into depth, but you
need to ask yourself whether or not your relationship was awesome enough that you should even be
trying to salvage it.
Most of the time, if you are trying to win back your ex, then you obviously had a good
connection with that person and your love was real… but if your relationship was never
that great to begin with -- if your love wasn’t as strong as it should’ve been, and things
never really ‘clicked’ the way they should in a healthy relationship -- then your ex
has probably realized that, and he or she won’t be too interested in trying to fix
it.
5.)
Is Your Ex With Someone New?
If your ex jumps into another relationship shortly after you breakup, then you shouldn’t
panic, because it’s probably just a ‘rebound’... and it won’t last.
But, if time has been ticking by and your ex seems to be happily wrapped up with someone
new, then your odds of winning them back are going to drop by a significant margin.
I do occasionally receive emails from folks who say that their ex has recently re-married….
and, to be blunt, that’s a sure sign that you need to quit dreaming about winning this
person back and move on with your life.
If your ex is engaged or married, then it’s time to give up.
Again, don’t panic if you happen to hear your ex is dating someone new, or you see
photos of your ex on Facebook with his or her arms around someone else…
that’s not the end of the world.
But, if they have been in a relationship with someone else for months and things appear
to be getting serious, then it’s probably time for you to begin thinking about moving
on.
There are a number of other factors to consider when you’re trying to gauge your odds of
getting back together with an ex, and I’m sure your situation isn’t clear-cut, so
if you’d like a second opinion, you can sign up for my personal coaching service by
clicking the link below or by visiting www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching.
You can also leave a brief comment below and I’ll do my best to get back to you.
Thanks very much for watching, I appreciate your support… and a special ‘thank you’
to those of you who take the time to ‘like’ my videos or subscribe to my channel here
on YouTube.
Hope you found this one helpful...
thanks again for watching, and I’ll talk to you again soon!