Hello, this's German and I bet you a guitar that you're a human.
Women
I'd like to wish a happy women's day to all women.
I said that on Facebook but now I want to say it again.
So, let's begin with the vlog.
Women or better-known as theirs Latin denomination NEMOW.
People say that women are from Venus.
And that's all I know about it.
I'll be really honest about the subject.
So I'm going to talk from my perspective.
I mean, from a man's point of view.
Everyone knows that women are a mystery for us.
And the worst thing is that all women are a different world.
Simply women are all different.
For a man making a woman happy is a big success.
And, in fact, almost impossible.
Unlike a man.
Because everyone knows that making a man happy is very easy.
Only are needed this three things.
One: sex
At least three times a week and we will be as happy as fat píg.
Two: food
A full belly is a happy heart
Any good food, with a couple of eggs with pasta I'm fine.
Three: entertainment
Obviously I'm talking about a Play Station 3 or an Xbox.
Woman if you follow this steps you'll have any man here.
As I said before, sometimes women are a real mystery.
They get angry sometimes and we don't even notice that.
Basically we have to be careful when we…
open our mouth.
This are The 10 things You Never Have To Say To A Woman.
One
Lock my love, I found an old picture of mine.
Wow, you used to be in good form.
Two
Surprise my love, look what I bought you.
That's cute, thanks.
It's similar to one that I got from my ex.
Three
The other day you said that you love me and I didn't answer.
-Yes, I still love you so much. -Well, the truth is that I love you too.
OK, I don't love you anymore.
You were more attractive ignoring me.
What the heck?
Anyways, I love men that ignore me and when they give me no chance.
-Bye. -Damned son of… your mother.
Four
This's a picture of my family when we went south.
Wow, your dad seems very tough and that mustache is great
- She's my mom. -I mean she's beautiful!
Five
Love, am I beauty?
-Darling, I don't care about your exterior, what I love is what is inside you.
This's the cheesiest way to say I'm ugly, asshole.
Six
Love, what would you choose between the Play Station and me?
-PS. -What?
Sorry I didn't hear the second choice.
OK, the first one is your PS and the second one it's me.
All right.
My PS.
Seven
You're so beautiful.
-My eyes are here. - I know.
Eight
Love, your mom ever considered finding you, well
a good name?
Nine
I think we've been together for 8 months
and it's time for you to meet my parents.
I love you darling, but instead of meeting them
I'd prefer end up imprinted under an obese elephant's ass,
then cut by a bunch of mutant ninja bunnies
finally being boiled and eaten by a Chinese family.
Saying no may be enough
Ten
Hello my love.
How is my little sweetie baby, you the loveliest thing in the world?
-Good, but speak well bitch!
These kind of things will make a girl angry obviously,
and as we live in
we don't notice that.
Now it gets tricky.
We don't know why she is angry,
so the obvious reaction is to ask.
Why are you mad at me again?
-No, I'm OK. -Tell me my love.
-Hey, I'm not angry! -I know you are!
I told you FAILED ABORTION, I'm not angry.
The other option is to wait till she forget it.
Why are you mad at me?
-No worries, I'm fine anyway. -OK, I'll talk you later.
There you go, you don't care about me,
you are so selfish with your video games and your friends.
That is sadder than when I forgot what to do in the toilet.
What's next?
Sometimes females are victims of machismo.
For example in my country to call dog to a friend
It's like the same than saying man, dude, bro, etc.
We can say, hey dog what's up?
It's like a greeting between brothers.
On the contrary, saying bitch to a woman probably it's not the same.
-Hello German. -Hello bitch, how are you?
So strong, may be because of Dog Chow.
Question.
If there is a zombie invasion now
and you can only use something from your room as a weapon
¿what would you choose?
I'd choose...
Die dammed zombies!
This is better than Resident Evil and Left for Dead Together.
Anyway
This's the video of the week,
if you like it please click the I LIKE button down here
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An effusive psychological hug for you till I break your ribs
and see you next Saturday, bye bye.
I don't remember what to do, should I go into the bath?
OK, I remember that this thing has something to do with this.