- [Trainer] Hello loves!
It's the number one trainer
in the history of the franchise,
Scottish Pokemon Trainer!
Let's do it.
I am liking what I'm seeing here so far.
Is that Rosemary Kelly?
Best VGC caster in the company!
Wooden pokeballs?
I guess this one is set in a distant past.
Alright, you got my attention.
This art style is so distinct
and I am here for it.
Look at the wee Piplup!
Not enough words for how much
I adore that wee penguin.
Oh, holy hell, that is beautiful.
This overworld is unbelievably pretty.
It's a rip that Galar isn't like this.
I guess that's climate change for you.
And this fashion!
Look at these fucking fashion icons.
I am loving these looks.
Oh wait, wait.
Dives?
Leaps?
Is this Pokemon Breath of the Wild?
And they caught a Shinx.
Good for them.
I love a Shinx.
Hey, sneaking around.
This is Pokemon Breath of the Wild!
Hey, hold on a moment.
Got to Google something.
(typing)
Oh damn it. No results.
I can't exactly figure this combo out but
damn if it doesn't look fucking beautiful.
These landscapes are so beautiful and cinematic.
Patch Galar to look like this, you cowards!
I want to live there.
Are these the starters?
My beautiful little fire mouse.
My sweet little grass owl.
Oh and Oshawott is here too.
Oh, I truly adore this cut scene art.
Pretty as all hell.
Weird, that seems like the end of the trailer
but there's a wee bit in the video.
There they are glowing in the sky!
You know, canonically,
that's god, creator of all life in the universe.
Always seems a little
sacrilegious to catch them
in a ball and make them fight caterpies
in the forest.
But you better believe that's what I'll fucking do.
Pokemon Breath of the Wild
here we fucking go.
Hello lovelies.
It's your favorite Pokemon trainer of all time.
Take that in, you pretty bastard.
Scottish Pokemon Trainer.
Let's get into it.
(intro music)
Ooh is that Vivillion?
I always get those damn butterfly Pokemon confused.
Ugh, the Lental region?
Sounds soupy.
Neo 1 is loads fancier than my bike.
Neo 1's to Galar, when?
- [Game Narrator] And even under the sea!
To research Pokemon in their natural habitats.
And of course, you won't be alone.
- [Trainer] I won't be alone?
Do I get to bring that big, fluffy Stoutland along?
Tell me I'll get to bring the Stoutland
or I'll fucking end you!
Oh, it's just the fucking prof.
I already got one of those at home.
How do you reckon Rita and Phil
get their hair to stick up like that?
- [Game Narrator] Now then,
let's get that research started.
By watching wild Pokemon,
you can discover-
- [Trainer] Scared Grookey is rarely seen.
That daft idiot Hop picked a Grookey,
so I've seen my fair share of scared Grookeys.
I see I can feed the little bastards again.
I wonder if they've still got the pester balls
for knocking them out.
Show that little surfing mouse
a thing or two.
- [Game Narrator] Oh, it's Tyranitar!
- [Trainer] No, Tyranitar, you bloody idiot.
You can't eat the whole thing
stem, seed, core, and all.
Too many seeds are toxic!
Though, I guess that'll serve you right
for sitting up on me
with weakness policy
so many times.
- [Game Narrator] What a wild way to eat.
Here's the park at night.
Let's try playing a melody.
- [Trainer] What's this midi nonsense?
Let me play my bagpipes for Hoothoot.
Music isn't supposed to make you happy.
It's supposed to make you sad
and vaguely confused.
- [Game Narrator] Something that professor invented.
If you use one of these-
- [Trainer] Oh, so pretty.
That Swan is lit up like Hop
when I sicced Morpeko on him.
Hey, you got to mind that Scorbunny.
I watched Avatar.
Blue fire bending means
that's an evil bonnie bun.
The big bastard did the belly flop.
Amazing.
I always told you Venisaur was a frog
but nobody wanted to listen.
- [Game Narrator] We captured a rare moment.
- [Trainer] Rare moment?
Call me a sucker for nostalgia,
but if I can't hear Oak's grating,
pixelated voice
yelling "That was close!"
it just won't be the same for me.
Wait, they put bloody Photoshop in it!
Gosh, that'll be nice
for my Poke selfies
with that bonnie Stoutland.
- [Game Narrator] And I'm sure you'll want
to show off your best photos, right?
We know that feeling well
when you want to do that-
- [Trainer] Wait,
are you kidding me?
Online? Full-time interaction means
my dream is finally coming true!
Forget being a master trainer.
I am going to be a master poke influencer.
It'll inspire me, all right.
Inspire me to lock in a sweet sponsorship deal
with Silph Co.
as I rise the influencer stardom.
I can just see it now.
Likes, and faves, and re-blogs
from the most popular trainers in all of Galar.
Even
Raihan.
That boy's too pretty and too stupid
for his own good.
Of course he and Leon are an item.
- [Game Narrator] The Lental region is waiting for you.
- [Trainer] (laughs)
No, I'm thinking too small.
Not just Galar,
the whole world!
Cynthia and Steven Stone
seeing my sponsor posts.
Even from the bonniest lass
in any region,
Diantha.
Wait,
is this stream still live?
(laughs)
Anyway, look.
Hey, there's Celebi.
Wild isn't it?
New Pokemon snap sure looks fun.
Going to, uh
uh,
oh what are you idiots staring at?
The video's over.
(upbeat outro music)