>> Stephen: IS TRUMP PRESIDENT YET?
BECAUSE I SAW HIM MEETING WITH A FOREIGN LEADER EARLIER.
HE LOOKED REALLY PRESIDENTIAL?
HE'S NOT?
I CAN IMAGINE HIM THROWING OUT THE FIRST PITCH.
ALL THE IMPORTANT PRESIDENT STUFF.
SPEAKING OF, WHICH LET'S TALK ABOUT BASEBALL FOR A SECOND.
THAT'S CALLED A SEGUE.
IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE PLAY I SAW IN CLEVELAND.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
A LINE DRIVE FROM ZACH McALLISTER FROM THE INDIANS,
KICKS IT OVER HIS SHOULDER AND CATCHES IT.
UNBELIEVABLE!
THERE'S STILL A TEAM CALLED THE INDIANS?
IF BASEBALL IS GOING TO BE THIS EXCITING, WE MAY HAVE TO FIND
SOMETHING ELSE TO THINK ABOUT DURING SEX.
OF COURSE, THE BIG STORY IN SPORTS CONTINUES TO BE
QUARTERBACK COLIN KAPERNICK AND HIS REFUSAL TO STAND DURING THE
NATIONAL ANTHEM.
HE SAYS HE IS "NOT GOING TO STAND UP TO SHOW PRIDE IN A FLAG
FOR A COUNTRY THAT OPPRESSES BLACK PEOPLE AND PEOPLE OF
COLOR."
A BOLD STANCE.
OR, TECHNICALLY, A BOLD SITS.
THE 49ers ARE PLAYING THEIR LAST PRESEASON GAME TOMORROW NIGHT IN
SAN DIEGO, AND ALL EYES WILL BE ON KAPERNICK BECAUSE ANYTHING IS
MORE INTERESTING THAN WATCHING A PRESEASON GAME.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, KAPERNICK'S PROTEST HAS
CAUSED A FIRESTORM OF CONTROVERSY.
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE UPSET WITH HIM, INCLUDING, WELL, YOU KNOW
WHO.
>> I THINK IT'S A TERRIBLE THING AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE SHOULD
FIND A COUNTRY THAT WORKS BETTER FOR HIM
>> Stephen: WELL SAID.
IF A COUNTRY DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU, FIND ONE THAT DOES.
THAT'S WHY TRUMP'S FACTORIES ARE ALL LOCATED IN CHINA.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, I WANT TO BE CLEAR-- NOW, I
WANT TO BE CLEAR.
I, STEPHEN COLBERT, LOVE THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
I STAND UP WHEN I HEAR IT.
I KNOW THE HARMONY.
IT'S EASILY IN MY TOP THREE SONGS ABOUT RAMPARTS.
I ALSO LOVE AMERICA.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT AMERICA IS EVERYONE HAS
THE RIGHT TO PROTEST THINGS THEY'RE UPSET ABOUT, INCLUDING
PROTESTING OTHER PEOPLE'S PROTESTS.
THAT'S ALL COVERED IN THE SECRET MAP ON THE BACK OF THE
CONSTITUTION, ALSO ON THE FRONT, IN THE WORDS.
SO, CONSTITUTIONALLY, KAPERNICK PROTESTING AND PEOPLE BEING
UPSET WITH HIM IS A WIN-WIN-- TWO WORDS THE 49ers WILL NOT BE
HEARING A LOT THIS SEASON.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT THIS CONTROVERSY HAS MADE ME WONDER HOW THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
AND SPORTING EVENTS GOT CONNECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
WELL, INTERESTING STORY.
TURNS OUT, IT GOES BACK TO A VERY STRANGE TIME IN AMERICAN
HISTORY WHEN THE CUBS WERE IN THE WORLD SERIES.
IT WAS 1918.
WORLD WAR I WAS JUST ENDING, AND THE CUBS WERE OPENING THE SERIES
AT HOME AGAINST BABE RUTH AND THE RED SOX.
THEY EXPECTED A RAUCOUS CROWD, BUT INSTEAD, THE PAPERS REPORTED
THAT THE GAME "WAS PERHAPS THE QUIETEST ON RECORD."
IT WAS SO QUIET, YOU COULD HEAR BABE RUTH THINKING ABOUT
ALCOHOL.
HOWEVER, THERE WAS ONE MOMENT WHEN THE CROWD CAME ALIVE--
THE SEVENTH-INNING STRETCH, WHEN THE MUSICIANS FIRED UP "THE
STAR-SPANGLED BANNER."
THAT'S RIGHT, THE "STAR-SPANGLED BANNER" WAS THE ORIGINAL JOCK
JAM.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND NOW, BUT
AT THE TIME, THE MOST POPULAR FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT WAS
FINDING OUT WHICH OF YOUR COUSINS HAD SPANISH FLU.
NOW, THE CUBS REALIZED INSTANTLY THEY HAD A HIT.
AND FOR THE NEXT TWO GAMES, THEY HAD THE BAND PLAY "THE
STAR-SPANGLED BANNER" TO ENTHUSIASTIC CROWDS.
AND THE CROWDS WENT UP FROM 19,000 TO 27,000.
THEY PLAYED THE ANTHEM AT EVERY GAME, AND THE CUBS CONTINUED IT
TO LOSE.
TRADITIONS THAT HAVE CONTINUED TO THIS DAY.
THE STORY PROVES THAT PLAYING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT GAMES IS
THE MOST AMERICAN THING OF ALL: MARKETING.
SO MAYBE IT'S NOT THAT OFFENSIVE TO SIT IT OUT.
OR IF IT IS OFFENSIVE, IT SHOULD ALSO BE OFFENSIVE NOT TO BUY A
MATTRESS ON PRESIDENT'S DAY.
"BECAUSE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND A BETTER DEAL ON A SEALY
POSTURE-PEDIC, GO BACK RUSSIA, YOU COMMIE!"