Once when I was preparing for a job interview, a friend told me that, to come across as eager
and enthusiastic, you should always maintain eye contact.
Make sure to lean forward and uncross your arms to appear more open.
Oh and also, nod frequently and smile constantly.
And don’t forget to mimic the facial expressions of your interviewer so they’ll like you
more.
But, I thought, wouldn’t this all make the interviewer wonder if you’re engaged…
or unhinged?
Still, these are the tips body language experts dish out to unlock success in interviews and
first dates – but it’s not exactly a science… or even really a language.
In fact, the most common beliefs about body language… are wrong.
And understanding these body language myths can help you from jumping to conclusions or
trying to interpret signals that just aren't there.
I’m Vanessa and you’re watching BrainCraft, where we explore the psychology in your everyday
life.
Even for researchers, it’s really hard to study body language.
In spoken languages, a word will have a few meanings that are agreed upon by everyone.
But this isn’t true for body language.
Each gesture or movement could have many different meanings in different contexts.
If you’re fidgeting during your interview, it might be because you’re nervous, or bored,
or preoccupied or drank one too many glasses of water pre-interview!
And movements can be subtle: tiny changes in the physical arrangement of a face can
make a huge difference in whether we perceive a smile as welcoming or just creepy.
Reading too deeply into someone’s body language can very easily lead you to make the wrong
conclusion about them.
Most of the things we think we know about body language are not actually supported by
science
For example, you may have heard the myth that 93% of communication is nonverbal.
This number is based on studies by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, but it is taken very much out of
context.
In two studies in the 1960s, scientists had participants identify whether people liked,
disliked, or felt neutral about the person they were talking to based on single words,
tone of voice, or facial expression.
In the first experiment, researchers found people were more likely to use information
from facial expressions than from tone of voice when evaluating how much one person
liked another person.
In the second experiment, they found that people were more likely to determine a person’s
attitude using tone of voice than the actual meaning of the single word.
But these studies are very different from real life situations - you never have to determine
if someone likes you based on a single word or a static facial expression and there’s
LOTS of other information that we communicate besides whether or not we like someone.
While tone of voice and facial expressions are important, the 93% rule just isn’t applicable
in the vast majority of situations.
Another myth is that looking to the right indicates lying, while looking left means
someone is telling the truth.
In a 2012 study, researchers looked at this myth, asking participants to lie or tell the
truth and assessing eye movements.
They also looked at real-world situations, analyzing the eye movement of individuals
in press footage making a public request for the safe return of a missing relative.
But in some cases, that person was actually involved in the disappearance of the relative,
so it wasn’t a truthful request.
Whether in the lab or the real world, researchers didn’t find any association between looking
left or right and being truthful.
You also may have heard that if someone crosses their arms in front of their chest, they’re
closed-off or defensive.
But there are actually a lot of reasons to cross your arms - maybe it’s comfortable,
you’re cold, or you haven’t got any pockets and aren’t sure what else to do with your
hands.
There is limited research that shows that arm crossing is associated with defensiveness
or unwillingness to accept ideas.
In fact, a 2007 study showed that when people crossed their arms, they displayed greater
persistence AND performance on solving puzzles - maybe it’s not so bad after all.
The truth about body language is that it’s not really a language at all.
What your gestures and facial expressions mean is likely affected by your age, culture,
gender, and the context of the moment.
Focus on words and tone and try not to overthink your body language.
Worrying too much about your body language could distract you from the conversation at
hand, which could end up hurting instead of helping.
Instead of working to appear calm or engaged, focus on the conversation and what the other
person is saying.
That way, your movements will come more naturally.