I'm 81 years of age I've had nine
children and 42 grandchildren and have
almost a billion citizens
I have rheumatism
a collapsed uterus a morbidly obese and
deaf in one ear
I've known eleven prime ministers and
passed two thousand three hundred and
forty seven pieces of legislation I've
been in office sixty-two years two
hundred and thirty-four days thus I am
the longest-serving monarch in world
history I'm responsible for five
households and a staff of over 3,000
cantankerous boring greedy fat
ill-tempered at I'm selfish myopic both
metaphorically and literally I am
perhaps disagreeably attached to power
and should not have smashed the Emperor
of Russia's egg but I am anything but
insane
[Music]