[music playing]
NORA: I'm Nora, and I'm a retired schoolteacher.
I have an infinite number of containers.
I can't keep count.
I really like things organized, and I just keep buying
containers now to do that with.
I have lots of things for cooking
and scrapbooking and crafting, things I used at school.
I have an addiction to books.
I guess it's better to be addicted
to books than some of the other things,
but it's an addiction in itself.
I'm Jennifer, and I'm Nora's daughter.
My mom has thousands of containers in her house
and in her storage building.
I have seen the stacks get higher.
I've seen less of a path.
There's no room to do anything.
You can't even think when you're in there.
All you want to do is just turn around and walk away.
Our relationship has become very,
very strained over the years.
When I try to clean things out, she
wants to go through everything.
She has to go through the box.
It's always on her terms, what she's willing to let go of.
Mothers and daughters have a lot of disagreements sometimes,
but we've had more than our share.
JENNIFER: She tells me all the time
that when we argue that that's when she goes shopping.
So that puts a lot of pressure on me
that it's all me, that it's my fault that she goes shopping.
In January of 1997, my grandmother passed away.
In November of '97, I moved out and moved into an apartment.
In December of 1997, my father passed away.
And at that point, things were totally different with her.
NORA: I lost my three best friends--
my mother and Jim and Jennifer.
It was just hard to lose them all at the same time.
I didn't take time, I guess, to grieve.
So I was shopping a lot because I didn't
want to be home at night much.
I'm not scared to be home at night.
It just got very lonely.
So you make friends with the people in the store.
I knew the stores that stayed open all night.
I get good bargains.
And when I get good bargains, I want to buy one
for everybody I know, you know?
JENNIFER: The shopping is just as bad
as an alcoholic or a drug addict or anything
like that because she's wasting her life away.
And you can't get through to her.
My mom lost a job not long after my father had passed
away because she was a teacher.
She went shopping during school hours.
NORA: Unfortunately, I was gone most of the day.
And while I was gone, a child got hurt.
JENNIFER: And she was not there and therefore
got fired the very next day.
You got your card?
80.
JENNIFER: If my mother does not get the help
and address the hoarding and the compulsive shopping
and the over-organizing, then this is the last straw.
Our relationship will just become
more strained and more distant.
I love her.
I love her to death, and I would do anything to help her.
But at this point, I just don't think I can.
Good morning, everybody
Good morning.
I'm Dorothy Breininger.
I'm a professional organizing expert,
and I specialize in hoarding.
This is a very special day and a very unique day for sure.
We've got about 2,000 containers in the house
and in the driveway.
You're going to have thousands and thousands
of tough decisions to make.
My name is Dr. Robin Zasio.
I'm a licensed clinical psychologist,
and I specialize in compulsive hoarding and OCD.
Dorothy and I are a team to remind you
it's either your family or your stuff.
Your face is worth a thousand words right now.
Talk to me.
It's-- it's just been so long.
I'm ready to have her back.
I want her to be a part of my kid's life.
We're in a crisis situation.
You've lost a lot of money.
Your daughter is standing next to you saying,
I can't do this anymore, right?
We've got to stay focused.
And I think we'll have success if we do, OK?
Yes.
Let's get the day started with some energy, all right?
[inaudible]
[cheering]
I would like for you to just go through this first box
and tell me what you think.
NORA: I know that most of the books I want,
and some I may give away later.
Some are for Jennifer's children.
But later is now, unfortunately.
These are mostly just really good books for school.
And this is all stuff you're keeping?
[inaudible] right here.
Yep.
Yes.
These are cookbooks.
Let me take your cookbooks.
These keep? - Thank you.
Yes.
And this is all stuff you're saving here too?
Yes.
And this?
And this as well?
And what about this stuff here?
Yes.
This stack right here, is this all stuff that you're keeping?
Have you been through this?
I'm keeping all of this.
I count one, two, six items that you've given away so far.
I'm wondering what we're going to do.
Your daughter is right here, and she's worried about something.
We're going to have to let it go, mama.
But you have got so many magazines.
Yes, and you know, this is what it's doing to me.
I don't want you to be upset, and I
don't want you to give up.
Mama, please don't be like that.
NORA: I'm-- I just--
Nora has an incredibly difficult
time with mood regulation.
She's either happy or she's angry.
And when she gets angry, because she can't tolerate
those feelings because they're uncomfortable for her,
she runs and hides.
NORA: I am frustrated, and I know you're going to say
it's all grief coming out.
It is not grief.
It is my life.
One, think about daddy.
Daddy would not want you living like this.
I don't want--
You can't live, mama.
You cannot live like this.
You have got to get the stuff out.
OK, well, then let's get everything out.
ROBIN: When we pushed her, which made her feel uncomfortable,
she went to the extreme end and basically said,
throw everything away.
I'm not going to make a decision about anything.
We're not going to do anything.
--what's important.
ROBIN: So you're giving up control?
I'm giving up control.
We want you to make decisions about your stuff,
but you're not making any decisions.
And every time we try to push you to do something, you stop.
You block us.
I'm asking you to trust us that we are here
for you and your best interest to hold
onto what is here for you.
She's done everything but go on her knees
and beg you to please choose her over your stuff.
And so far, you're choosing your stuff.
JENNIFER: If she is not willing to accept that help,
then there's nothing more that I can do.
There's nothing more anybody can do.
This is your stuff, and we want
you to make good decisions.
I'm gonna bring it upstairs.
I need that.
I don't need that.
She will be buried in this house
because that's all that she's going to have.
These [inaudible] I'm getting Christmas.
I warned you about that Southern Living magazine.
I'll go back and get it myself, and--
keep your hands off of me please right now.
I'm doing this, OK?
She's-- she will die alone.
We're on day two, and you got some sleep last night.
NORA: I did.
Very good.
And I also see even though you've got plenty of sleep
that you've got a black eye.
You kind of hit-- something hit you yesterday.
Yeah?
Well, actually, I hit it.
You hit it.
OK.
Yesterday the success rate wasn't good.
We got rid of 16 items.
If we started in the living room, just getting down
to work, we could get some of that momentum
going that might bring up a feeling of success for you.
Yes.
DOROTHY: That could get us rolling.
Yes.
DOROTHY: What do you think of that?
I think that's a great idea.
ROBIN: You know what?
Rather than take all these supplies out
that's going to be donated, why don't we
just keep it in the box and let the whole bin go?
Now Nora, what's going on?
DOROTHY: Wait a second.
Wait a second.
I'm giving away, not organizing.
Giving away.
ROBIN: Right.
I love to give away.
You want to give to people because you're
very generous person.
At this point, isn't it the most important
thing that you just give it to somebody who can use it?
NORA: I have lots of friends and lots
of schools I can give them to.
Right, and we have a donation truck
ready to go to take them to--
Take it.
Everybody here has been nothing but kind to you.
I know it.
And you are being so ugly and rude,
and it is embarrassing me.
I cannot stand by and watch you continue
to do this to the people that are trying
their hardest to help you--
NORA: I know.
--and the people that love you.
I have given you the best of my life,
but I will not continue to let you hurt me the way
that you're doing today or yesterday.
I have shed more tears in the past two days
than I have ever met in my whole life--
NORA: [inaudible]
--and I will not continue to do it.
The house is not big enough for everything
that is currently in it.
I know, and I'm trying to take away,
but somebody wants me to take all of it away.
No!
Nobody wants you to take it all away.
You have got to get that through your head.
I think that's a waste of time, Sandra.
Please.
I know they're leaving and I want them to get done as much
as they can because I want the house as clean as it can be,
but-- SANDRA: All right.
--I don't want this.
DOROTHY: When I got here, I thought
we had 2,000 containers.
Turns out there were 3,000.
Out of the 3,000 containers that were on the property,
we got rid of 15 boxes going to charity, five boxes of trash,
and five bags of trash.
That's it.
ROBIN: Nora did not develop any insight into a problem.
We made very little progress, and I'm really
worried about her prognosis.
I'm not convinced that she will actually
follow through with therapy.
And if that's the case, I think eventually she
could lose everyone she loves.
JENNIFER: My mom definitely let me down
because I thought this was a new beginning, a new chance,
a chance for my children to have a grandmother
and for me to have a mom again.
She's not the same person.
And at this point, I don't think that she
ever will be the same person.
I think that she's happy with what she has,
and I think that that's the way I will find
her one day is in her stuff.
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