- So I couldn't help but notice,
that in your new lovely book,
it started here, like after you were here.
- It did, we were right over there cooking.
- I know.
Making a crab and cheesy dip.
- Which I don't cook well, but I love the discernment.
- You made that great dip.
(giggles)
- Because of you.
(giggling simultaneously)
- And then, oh yes, there we are.
And then I took the leftovers 'cause I always,
you know have stuff at home too,
because I'm always practicing before I do it.
And I took it over to Wolfe's house
and that's when Ed came by,
and it all starts the whole story of
this reconnection that Ed and I had
in the last few years of his life.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
- That must have been hard.
I know because I've gone through a divorce,
still going through divorce,
and it's like, it feels,
it's a weird thing, but it feels like a death.
- Yeah.
- Like it feels like such a loss,
like divorce in general,
and then to lose him again, that must have been really hard.
- Yeah, it sucks.
- 'Cause it's your kid's father too, you know?
Yeah.
- Yeah, but there was something,
and I know so many people get mad at me
when I say that there was a love that Ed
and I had that no one really can.
And it's, but it's true.
I mean, I don't know why was it.
- Why do they get mad,
but that's a beautiful thing?
- Because we were both married to other people.
But it wasn't,
it was nothing sexual.
It was nothing.
It was just, I've known the guy since I was 20 years old.
I was a baby,
and he was just my life for a very long time.
So I'm a little uncomfortable talking about it,
but I'm not because there's nothing to be ashamed of
when you love somebody.
- Yeah.
- Love is love.
- I think there's room to love a lot of people
and there are different types of love.
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah. Oh.
- And it turned into like brother, sister
and I care about him so much.
Still do.
- Yeah.
- Still do.
Why did you call the book "Enough Already"?
And it's,
I love that "Learning to love the way I am today".
- Because, I'm done.
I'm just done judging myself.
I'm done with all the negative talk that I give
to myself because there's enough negative talk out there.
It's just enough already, enough.
Enough getting on the scale,
enough saying horrible things about myself.
- Yeah.
- And just changing the perspective,
and changing,
- The narrative.
- The view and the narrative, thank you.
And also, I am enough.
I'm enough.
- Yeah.
- It's enough.
- It's so interesting,
'cause from an outsider's perspective and just even
having the one lunch we got to share, like it was like
I literally remember leaving and telling Ashley,
I was like, man, she is such a light.
She's so kind.
She's so normal.
You were so cool.
Like rarely
- I thought the same thing about you.
- Well what's funny is, rarely do you meet people like,
- In this business.
- You know, we're always working
and busy, busy and rarely do I really find that.
And so I had advice actually given to me for 2022.
And it was like treat yourself how you treat other.
Oh no, yes treat yourself how you treat others.
And it's like, 'cause I feel like we are kind
to people a lot often more than to ourselves.
- Yes, unfortunately
- Which so crappy.
- Right.
And it's not okay.
- Why do we do that?
- I don't know
I mean, it's just, I learned from a very, very
very young age by, you know, just the way you watch
and the way you see the way people treat each other.
That it's just the certain things that you're allowed to say
and not allowed to say and not allowed to feel.
And I learned at a young age that,
gaining weight was unlovable, made me unlovable.
- Wow.
- So I'm still trying to purge
that out of my system because it's not, that's not true.
It's just a lie.
- No, yeah, that's,
oh my gosh that's so sad.
I think that's a thing in the South that said a lot too.
- Everywhere.
- I don't know if its everywhere.
- All over the world.
- Yeah.
That's definitely in the South.
But I, also I think what
I am glad about is,
I think so many things happened to me when I was young
about my weight that I think like even at a young age,
like so many things get said,
that I think that's whenever I was just like, whatever
I'm not gonna please anyone.
- God bless you.
- I think I was lucky it happened because it
before I got in the industry, because it was like
'cause it literal in the industry.
You're talking about your son being in the industry.
It's very hard.
Even for men.
- Yes.
- Even for men.
- Yes.
- To look a certain way and do with certain things
and it's, and it's just such a silly thing.
And I love the title.
- Thank you.
- "Enough Already".
'Cause it's very, welcoming
to so many people that have the same fight
within themselves.
- That they're trying to overcome.
- It's hard when you learn
as a little girl and then trying to get that out.
So for you to break that as a little girl.
- Yeah.
- Is something to be really proud of.
It took me a long time.
I mean I watched my mom not get loved
by my dad when she would gain weight.
- Oh God!
- I had an elementary school teacher point
at my belly and say, "you better watch that".
And I didn't even realize I had a body before that.
Like I had no awareness of what I looked like.
It was just like, let's have fun.
And then all of a sudden I was like,
oh I'm supposed to look a certain way?
- Oh!
- Yeah, that's damaging.
- That's not okay.
- Yeah.
No you gotta be so careful with what you
say in front of the little ones, they're sponges