- Today, the young people have their futuristic things.
But I'm still about, not the past,
the quality and craftsmanship.
Ned's antiques offers things for your home
that you'll character while keeping your roots.
Check out this spoon young fella.
This was hand made 1658 in London, England.
- No way, does it still work?
- Oh yeah, come down and see for yourself.
- Mmmmm.
- That's it?
- Yeah, I know it's not a lot but.
- Okay, listen, I get you're new to Hollywood, right?
But your resume consists of community college theater,
and one line, in a local spot, and your costar is a spoon.
- Right.
- It is very hard to take on a new client.
Although I do, I do trust my sister's instincts.
- She said I was good, right?
- She did, yeah, she said you were one of her brightest.
And that was, that was 13 years ago
so you've been in Iowa the whole time or?
- I ran into your sister Louise and she was like,
oh my God, Gary, you know you were so good,
you didn't move, you didn't go, you didn't go to Hollywood?
And I was like no and she was like ah you were so,
you should've and I was like I know, fuck!
I fucked up, fuck!
But I didn't, I stayed there, and I should've come
but now I'm here.
I saved up all my money and I'm ready, I'm ready to act.
- Let me see your headshot.
- Yeah, check it out.
- That's not a professional headshot.
- No, but these are shots of my head.
(hip hop music)
- I thought you said it was a headshot.
Isn't that just a picture of your head?
- I mean that's just what it's called
but they do full body, they do half, waist up.
I mean they do all of it.
- Wow, you went full LA on me, only took three months.
- Well Rick, if by full LA you mean I have a manager
now that's in charge of my career, then yes.
I know we can't all just eat cereal all day
like a child or a drug addict.
Okay, I just, I gotta focus on the shoot right now dude.
- Turtleneck?
- It's universal.
- Yeah well it makes your head look like it's shitting
out a frosting turd.
(heavy bass, electronic music)
- Woah.
- This is huge.
- This is palatial.
- Dude this is so Hollywood man.
- So sick.
- Oh my gosh, Todd, Todd, we're here.
- Yes, thank you, love it.
Finally my girl Amy came through.
You must be Gary, hi I'm Todd Phillipes,
and welcome to my work space.
I could already tell that we're going to have
some really nice images.
Gary, ready to book some job, you fucking asshole!
- No, I'm Rick, that's my buddy Gary.
He's getting the shots.
- I'm Gary.
- Hi, great, right, okay, let's go at it Gary.
- Alright you fucking asshole.
- Did you bring a change of wardrobe by any chance?
- I didn't because I felt the black turtleneck
was very universal and I saw an old picture of Brando
with it and he looked very powerful
and it was very dramatic and that's kind of what
I want to exude through these photos.
- Yeah, I bet, hey I'm on a tight schedule.
So we're just going to pop these bad boys out real quick
and then you could head down to the waterfront.
Right Rick?
Rick!
Okay.
(camera clicking)
Done, great job sexy.
Good job.
- Oh wow, that was fast, I wanted to do some other ones.
Like, is my neck okay like how does it look?
- Thick and doughy babe.
- Ick I don't want that.
- Hey, idea, why don't you jump in.
We'll have a fun little quick photo shoot.
Gary out, Rick in.
- I thought you were on a time schedule.
- I am, we gotta get moving babe, come on!
Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.
- Alright.
- There you go, smile for Todd.
- Sure.
- Come on, Rick, yeah Rick, give it to me Rick.
- Duck face or no duck face?
- Hmm, duck face.
- A fucking turtleneck?
You look like you have diarrhea.
- Yeah it's universal.
- In what universe?
- We have to do re-shoots or how does this work?
- No, no, no, no it's alright, I can work with this.
You can always play a serial killer.
Oh, by the way, who is Rick?
- Rick is my roommate, he drove me to the shoot.
Todd did a couple shots with him.
- Well Todd said that Rick's body turned his penis
into a mayonnaise volcano.
Anyway, Todd's a bit crass, but still
I'd really like to see those shots.
- Uh, okay.
- Great.
- Bye.
Can you email me the photos that Todd took?
Amy wants to see them for some reason.
- Yeah, he sent me like 40.
Check it out.
That one's pretty cool.
- Why did you let him do that?
That guy just doesn't, that's not professional.
(heavy bass music)