No!
Kashiwagi!
KASHIWAGI!
You can't be dead...
I will avenge you...
My brother...
I'm going for the grey one.
Come on, come to papa.
Ya little bitch.
GAH!
God dammit, I was so -
Oh shut up, you don't have anywhere to be.
Look at you in there.
You look like PlayStation 1.
So in this game, every man, woman and child in Japan is a total asshole,
so you have to fight them with a bicycle
to gain respect on the streets, like this:
BAH!
That's right.
You guys are just a fuckin' tutorial!
Oh, I got a knife now! Ohoho, goodbye.
Look at the grandma!
"Yes! Take his life! For my entertainment!"
Now look at this grandma..
Oh, grandma, watch out!
No, grandma, watch out! No, watch out, there's a car!
[ gasps ]
OK.
I didn't know this was a GOOD game.
This guy's gonna be tough.
You can tell.
Oh my god!
This will be my toughest fight yet!
OK, I beat him.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
"I'm so sorry! Please, take this."
Charcoal?
What?
What the HELL am I gonna do with charcoal?!
Is that a Japanese thing?
You just give a charcoal - oh.
Oh no.
I killed Con Man!
Oh no, I broke his shoulder!
Con Man, I'm sorry!
No, don't worry, guys.
Nonono. I have a patented special technique that fixes his shoulder.
See?
See, I fixed his shoulder.
That'll be ten million dollars.
What? They brought in Middle-Aged Woman?
That's my favorite character from Sonic 06!
I don't know if this is a good guy or a nice guy...
Oh.
Oh, this is a b - gang member.
Here we go again.
Bye-bye.
"D'oh, you're no pushover. I'll tell you what, here, take some charcoal."
"Let's just forget this ever happened, eh kid?"
"Sir."
"With charcoal prices reaching a new market low, I suggest that we move our finances into the aluminum industry."
[ speaking Japanese ]
[ continued Japanese ]
"I disagree."
HA HA HA
AT LONG LAST
A TRUE WARRIOR
LET THIS BE
OUR GREATEST BATTLE
EEEEEEEEEEE
"Man Looking for Lion Dog Statue?"
That's my favorite character from Sonic 06!
Jesus Christ!
This is harder than every boss fight in the game so far put together!
Just c - OH
YES
Yes, I got him! The tuna!
The ultimate weapon!
TUNA
PUNCH
Come back in ten years.
Kazuya, going for the birdie.
[ from afar ] Come on. God dammit.
Just a little too much power on that one.
- Here he goes now for par. - [ from afar ] Get in there.
- [ from afar ] Are you fucking kidding me? - But, again, too much power.
Will he be able to sink it this time?
Or will he mess it up, like always?
Shut the fuck u -
We're doin' it like this now!
Excellent drive by Kazuya.
[ gunshot ]
No!
Rikiya!
RIKIYA!
[ sobbing ] RIKIYA!
Rikiya...
I will avenge you...
[ Jackie Chan - Movie Star playing throughout ] ♪ Don't shoot my gun ♪
Hey! I'm goin' for the big one, baby!
I got him - w - DAMMIT
♪ Looking for ♪
WHEE
[ laughing ]
Die!
♪ Don't shoot my balls ♪
♪ Don't call me leprechaun ♪
Ah -
OOH HOO HOO HOO
Yeah boy!
♪ I like my DVD ♪
[ music stops ] [ gunshot ]
NO!
DOJIMA!
I WILL AVENGE YOUUUUUUUU
[ music resumes ]
♪ ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪
♪ Get up myself and make a deal ♪