Maybe you've noticed that Live On Purpose TV has become the positive
parenting. But why is that important? What is the importance of positive parenting?
Can we discuss that today? -Yeah. Let's take that one on. -Viki, I was just
remembering when we were invited to do a television spot. The interviewer was
asking us about the most important job in the world which is? -Parenting.
-Parenting, of course. We all know that, right? The most important job in the
world for which we receive the least amount of training and formal education.
-And it's just amazing how that works out. -And so, what is the importance of
positive parenting? Think about it. The only training typically that we get for
parenting is from our own parents. -The way that we parent often is just a
repeat of how we were parented. And really, the only important thing about
the way we were parented is that it was the way we were parented. -There's
nothing that says that it was the right or the wrong way. -It's just the only way
that we have. And this creates programming. Just a quick word about
programming. We're programmed to think the way that we think, to interact with
people the way we interact, to speak the language we speak. We're speaking English,
why? Did we choose that? No. -Programmed. -We were programmed. And whatever language
you were programmed with, you didn't pick it.
It's just programmed in. And that's what I'm talking about programming. This is
where we learn our first ideas about parenting. -Right. -One of our viewers. Part
of our positive parenting community right here on YouTube sent us a message
that said, "I never knew that it was even an option to be positive as a parent."
Which blew my mind because that's the only option I can think of. Actually I can
think of other options. But what are they? Either you're going to be positive
parenting or you're going to do negative parenting. That doesn't sound good,
does it? Let's clarify what positive parenting isn't first because there are
some articles I've seen some blogs and things. That I think are a little
misleading. Positive parenting is not just saying that everything is okay.
-"That's okay. My kid can do whatever they want." -"With no limits." -That is not positive
parenting. -It is not raising free-range children. You know like the chickens that
wander around the islands. That is not what positive parenting is. -Yeah, it's not
being overly permissive with our kids. -Right. Or never setting limits. -Right.
That's not the positive parenting. -Take that out of there. That is not what we're
talking about with positive parenting. So, if that's what it's not, what is it?
-That's a good question. Tell us about it positive, Paul. -Positive parenting is
about setting appropriate limits doing it in a kind way and remembering your
job. -Which is? -To love them no matter what and even if. Shall we say it
again? To love them no matter what and even if. I don't think we can repeat it
too much. And I know that you hear it... If you've been here on the channel very
long, you've heard that before. That is so important. Because we get
misled sometimes as parents into thinking our job is to make sure that
day... -Right. Achieve this, do that. -Get the room clean, do their homework, treat each
other nicely, obey me. Become a good citizen. As if you have the power to do
all of those things. Your job is to love them no matter what and even if. With
that understanding, you can move forward and engage in positive parenting that is
completely supported by the research. Now, can I share some research as well? -Let's
hear it. -Throughout time, this is one of the most consistent findings that we've
ever found in psychology. Kids need 2 things. To be happy, well-adjusted, stable,
satisfied, successful kids. Love... -Which we've talked an awful lot about. -Shall we
repeat? We don't have to. Love and discipline. -Mm-hmm. -Or structure. -You know, you say
positive parenting. Well, doesn't that mean I'm not going to discipline my kid? But
that's what we're saying. This is absolutely a vital part a positive
parenting. -Has to be there. -It has to be there. -Has to be. If you love your kids but
don't discipline them, they go goofy on you. -Mm-hmm. Every time. -If you discipline
your kids but don't love them, well that's the military. -That's not very fun.
-Right. So, you have to have both of those positive parenting has to incorporate
both of those elements in order to be effective. So, our dear viewer who sent us
the message and said, "I didn't even know it was an option." And the lights were
going on for her about the possibilities that could happen that were so different
from the way she was raised herself. -Different than her programming. -And going
back to the programming, we have to acknowledge to ourselves and maybe to
each other, so that we can support each other appropriately. This is a process.
It's not an event. It's not like you can just choose, "Oh, then I'm going to do
positive parenting." -Right. It's a practice. -That's a better word for it. -Right.
-It's something that you have to reprogram. Because whatever's already
been programmed into your brain is just gonna come naturally to you. -Well, and you
know, you're doing the first great step which is learning about positive
parenting. -Right. -Just because you have learned about it and you believe it's a
good idea it doesn't mean that's you're perfect at doing it again yet. So, just
keep practicing it. It's going to be something that you have to do... So, yeah.
-In fact, we're for it. Making mistakes, trying some things out, fail. Which means?
-First attempt in learning. -First attempt in learning. Be patient and tolerant with
yourself as you do this. The whole reason that Vickie and I put together this
Parenting Power-Up is to create an environment where you can actually start
to reprogram your brain and start to feel like that positive parent that you
really want to be. And that's just one example.
There are so many resources out there. Even this community of positive parents
that are gathering here at Live On Purpose TV. Engage with each other down
in the comments. Help and support each other. I've seen so many... Meet brilliant
things that have been shared by our viewers. -Right. -Down there in the comments,
that's where some of this action is happening. -Right. -So, get engaged with that.
You've got this. There's so much available to you in terms of resources
and support. So the importance of positive parenting, let's put this into
perspective. It's probably the most important thing we can do for our planet.
Is that too profound? -A little bit. -Well, I'm going to stick with it. We referred to the
Parenting Power-Up as we were having this conversation. But I didn't tell you
how to find it. Right over there, do you see the link? And there's one down in the
description, parentingpowerup.com. Please join
us there. We have become part of your team could be a positive parent. And
you're going to experience an increase in your confidence to do just that.