Potential infidelity.
Conspicuous absences during public events.
Marital strife caused by... too much surfing?
Here are some strange things about the marriage between Julia Roberts and cinematographer
Danny Moder.
Although acting is her main gig, Roberts doesn't necessarily believe she was destined to be
a big movie star.
"Hi."
"Oh my god."
She once expressed that her purpose in life was to become Mrs. Moder.
Shortly after they got hitched, she told ABC News,
"I was born to love and to be the wife of this man."
Roberts fully acknowledged that not everyone would ooh and aah over that statement, particularly
considering the controversy surrounding their early relationship — Roberts' four-year
relationship with Benjamin Bratt ended right before she met Moder, who was still married
at the time.
Allegations of being the so-called "other woman" or a "homewrecker" unfortunately abounded
as Roberts' whirlwind romance with Danny took off, with some — particularly his ex-wife
— believing that their love story was no rom-com.
His ex alleged to The Sun,
"I'll never be able to forgive Julia — she's a husband stealer.
[...] It won’t last with her anyway.
She will be looking for a new husband within a year.
[...] Danny has a roving eye [...] and he won’t change.”
For her part, Roberts didn't expect others to understand, explaining to ABC News,
"People don't know anything.
People assume.
People decide.
It is not for me to ask anybody to assume or decide or feel differently."
When you have an endless amount of cash at your disposal, dropping a few million dollars
on another piece of property is no big deal.
Just ask Roberts, who is the proud owner of multiple properties, including a beachfront
home in Malibu and an estate in New Mexico, where she became Mrs. Moder on the Fourth
of July in 2002.
According to InTouch, Roberts went on the hunt for a new home to add to her real estate
portfolio in 2016, and she didn't have to look very far.
She reportedly plopped down $3.9 million for a Malibu ranch just down the road from her
family's main home.
So why would she need two houses so close together in the same ritzy neighborhood?
The publication claimed Moder, who is an avid surfer, was spending too much time chasing
waves around the globe and too little time with his wife and three kids.
Roberts reportedly purchased the second pad so her hubby could hang ten at a private surf
spot.
A source told the magazine,
"She's hoping that the purchase of the most expensive surf shack in Malibu will help her
marriage by keeping Danny from going away on extended surf trips.
Julia is hoping that by giving Danny his own incredible surf spot, it will stave off any
talk of divorce."
It sounds like it was worth every penny.
There have been a lot of rumors over the years about Roberts hiding marriage troubles.
You don't need to be Erin Brockovich to figure out that they're mostly hogwash — but some
sources still claim that Danny Moder is a runaway husband.
It all boils down to where the couple supposedly spends their time.
In 2017, InTouch ran a salacious article alleging that Roberts purchased a $6.84 million guest
home that mainly served as a "refuge" for her husband when they were fighting.
Express followed this up with a report that alleged Moder was straight-up living "across
the street" and that Roberts "barely spends any time" with him.
Four years later, and the couple showed no signs of divorce — but tabloids were still
claiming they lived in separate homes.
A source told OK Magazine that Roberts and Moder were reportedly "secretly living apart"
and they were merely "keeping up appearances" with their more recent Instagram PDA.
According to the insider, their marriage is filled with conflict because:
"Danny's very laid-back.
[...] Julia's a total type-A. [Both] have enormous egos."
"I feel like part of my personality is ferocious."
Just like the couple's marriage, recycled tabloid rumors are apparently 'til death do
they part.
In terms of who brings home the bacon, Roberts is definitely the breadwinner in this relationship,
with an estimated net worth of $250 million.
Moder is a successful cinematographer and multi-millionaire in his own right — but
rumor has it Roberts would rather he focus on being a stay-at-home parent.
According to Express, Roberts wants to be the "sole breadwinner" in their family, but
Moder may not feel the same.
A source told the paper,
"They are having a crisis because she wants him as a full-time dad.
He has always been hell-bent on pulling his own weight but Julia feels they are financially
set.
[...] Danny does not feel like they have a true partnership.
It is her way or the highway.
There has never been more strain on their marriage than there is now."
"It just gets more and more interesting being with him every day."
Of course, this is all mere speculation, and it's worth noting that these rumors don't
exactly jive with the way Roberts envisioned married life while talking to ABC News years
ago.
In 2002, she said,
"I guess if I were to cast a wish, I would wish that we, that we as a pair, as a team,
as a couple, as partners on this planet would wake up every day with a fair amount of joy
and just a little bit of giddiness and go to sleep with a sense of having been understood."
For Julia Roberts, falling in love apparently wasn't all that pleasant.
"Do you want my phone number?"
"Tempting, but no, thank you."
When Oprah Winfrey asked the "Notting Hill" star what it felt like to fall in love with
Moder, Roberts called it "horrible."
She went on to explain,
"You don't want to lose your friend.
Or what if he doesn't love you?
You start playing out all these crazy scenarios."
Makes sense, especially considering how she went on to describe playing a constant game
of cat and mouse with Moder.
They would talk on the phone, and Roberts would play it cool by saying she was busy
with other plans.
But soon enough, it seems they both played it straight, those terrible feelings faded
away, and the duo eventually embarked on a happy marriage together.
On her pal Gwyneth Paltrow's podcast in 2018, Roberts gushed,
"He truly, to this day, to this minute is just my favorite human.
[...] We just really, really like each other, and we just enjoy each other's company."
While talking to Winfrey in 2003, Roberts gushed that she was "happier now than ever"
and that "a huge part of it" pertains to her marriage — and her husband's college major.
She explained,
"Danny is such a great listener and a great communicator.
He majored in psychology in college, and I remember saying to my sister one time that
he can basically fix all my problems.
Perfect!"
According to Hollywood Life, the Los Angeles native graduated with his degree back in the
early '90s at the University of Colorado Boulder before heading back west and following in
his producer father's steps into showbiz.
For her part, Roberts reportedly wanted to study veterinary medicine at one point in
her life.
But we think it's probably safe to say that, considering the great levels of success they've
achieved in their respective fields, Roberts and her man both made the right career decisions.
Roberts had every opportunity to pull a "runaway bride" at her own wedding — but mostly because
nobody even knew a wedding was happening.
She and Moder didn't even tell their own wedding guests that a wedding was taking place back
in 2002.
According to Hello magazine, Moder and Roberts tied the knot at the "Pretty Woman" actor's
New Mexico ranch.
For the intimate affair, they apparently told their guest-list of 60 friends and family
that they were throwing a party for the Fourth of July.
Instead of the fireworks, guests got to watch Roberts walk down the aisle in a pink cotton
halter top dress.
People mag reports that Moder's outfit was similarly low-key — he wore "a red ruffled
shirt and tan pants."
While most celebrity couples walk the red carpet together, Roberts usually flies solo
at major events.
According to the Daily Mail, Moder even skipped Roberts' mother's funeral in 2015.
Roberts reportedly held an invite-only gathering at her mother's grave site in Georgia — without
her hubby — though it's entirely possible he simply stayed home with their youngest
kiddo, who also wasn't in attendance.
Why is he so rarely her plus-one?
Is he catching a wave?
Watching the kids?
The notoriously private couple hasn't directly addressed the issue.
According to E! News, when they made a rare appearance together at Oprah Winfrey's Wisdom
of Sundays Gospel Brunch in 2017, Roberts reportedly told attendees that it meant a
lot to her that he was by her side.
She said,
"[He] really is the man that taught me what it means to give, and who inspires me each
day to manifest my own creative destiny.
And I really, deeply appreciate that."
So what's stopping them from manifesting more joint appearances?
We may never know, but to each their own.
As the old saying goes, it's not easy — if even possible — for most women to have it
all.
Family and career are a delicate balance that are often tipped to one side, but not if you're
Julia Roberts.
Perhaps the strangest thing about her marriage happens to be the way she effortlessly prioritizes
her family without ever sacrificing her enormous career.
Her success even enabled her to shift her perspective.
In 2014, she told The Wall Street Journal,
"By the time we had kids, I had accomplished things and felt secure about that part of
my life.
I was so joyful moving into the family phase of my life in a sincere way."
"By the time we get home we're not talking about work, it was just all about the kids
which was amazing."
Roberts is still racking up award nominations while juggling three teenage children and
a husband of nearly 20 years — and her ability to maintain such a normal life has garnered
praise from her colleagues.
Late director Mike Nichols told the publication,
"That's what Julia has been best at, maintaining their real life.
It's the little things that tell the tale.
When you visit them, there is nobody working at their house, sweeping their hall.
There are toys all over, and it's just Julia and Danny and the kids.
She always slips away from the center."
"Why are you still Mrs. Danny Moder?"
"I'm just in love with my husband."
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