GOOD LINEUP, FUN VIBE IN HERE
TONIGHT, HOPE THAT'S COMING ACROSS.
AN ODDIBILTY OH YEAH FROM P. I NEED SOMEBODY TO GO BOO POW
POW. SECRET OF MY SUCCESS, FERRIS
BEBEULER'S DAY OFF. SO HARD TO KNOW IF YOU ARE
JOKING. >> I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF THAT'S A
MOVIE. BUT A POSTER --
>> James: I DON'T KNOW WHAT STREET HAWK IS.
>> IT'S NOT A MOVIE. IT'S A SERIES.
YOU'RE FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT WALLACE AND
GROMMET IS RIGHT? >> James: I KNOW WHAT WALLACE
AND GRO GROMMET IS. WALLACE IS THE MAN AND GROMMET
IS THE DOG. HERE IS MY IMPRESSION OF WALLACE
RIGHT? OOH --
>> VERY GOOD. I LIKE IT.
>> James: I DO A COUPLE OF IMPRESSIONS.
>> REDEVE GROMMET. >> James: WHAT DO IF I CAME
INTO THE DEVELOPMENT MEETING TOMORROW AND SAY, I WANT TO DO
SOME OF MY IMPRESSIONS. >> LET'S PUT IT OFF AND HOPE IT
GOES AWAY. >> James: IF I E-MAIL YOU A
BIT OVER THE WEEKEND, AND I NEED SOMETIME IN MONDAY SHOW TO
MENTION THE MACHO MAN, RANDY SAVAGE?
I COULD DO THAT, W WALLACE AND SHAGGY.
(APPLAUSE) >> James: HAS EVERYBODY SEEN
DMOM ONE WOULD HAVE NOTED IN THE STUDIO WHAT STEVE IS WEARING
TODAY. STEVE WOULD YOU STAND UP AND
JUST TAKE A LITTLE WALK, JUST STAND UP FOR US, IN FRONT OF
YOUR KEYBOARD, SHOW US WHAT YOU AREWEARING FROM THE WASTE DOWN,
WE WERE AUDIBLY GOB-SMACKED WHEN HE WALKED BY US IN THE CORRIDOR.
LOOK! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
>> James: I DON'T -- BUT HE IS CRAZY, I HASN'T GOT
AMOTOR-BIKE. DRIVES A PRIUS.
DRIVES A PRIUS. WHEN DID YOU START DRIVING A
MOTOR BIKE, STEVE? >> I THINK ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO.
>> James: MONTHS AGO BUT YOU HAVE NEVER WORN THESE LEATHERS
BEFORE, ALL I CAN SEE IS DARK TROUSERS, AN OPEN KNEE AND A
GATEWAY TO THE PRIZE. >> YES.
>> James: HOW BIG IS YOUR BIKE?
>> A 650. >> James: YOU GIVE ME A
LITTLE RIDE ON IT, GIVE ME A RIDE TON BACK OF THE HOG?
>> THAT'S HOW YOU HAVE TO SAY IT TOO, THE HOG.
>> James: I'LL ONLY COME ON IF YOU CALL IT HOG.
I WANT US TO GO AWAY FOR A WEEKEND.
>> MOTORCYCLE -- >> James: GO AWAY FOR THE
WEEKEND, THE TWO OF US. I WANT TO HOLD YOU SO TIGHT!
>> YEAH, THE PCH AND THE SUN'S COMING DOWN AND WE DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT HOTEL WE'RE GOING TO YET.
>> James: WE DON'T NEED A HOTEL, BABY, WE SLEEP ON THE
HOG. HANG ON, DO YOU HEAR THAT?
THERE. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?
THE SOUND OF AMERICA RUSHING TO THEIR TELEVISION SETS.
BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS! ♪ ♪ ♪ JAMES CORDEN IS GOING
TO TALK ABOUT THE NEWS BABE! ♪ GOING TO COME AT YOU FROM ALL
SIDES. ♪ JAMES CORDEN IS GOING TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THE NEWS IT'S NOT GOING TO BE FAVE IT'S JUST GOING
TO BE NEWS ♪ ♪ >> James: OH MY GOD!
♪ THE NEWS ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ >> HAPPY 22, BRO!
>> James: THAT WAS AMAZING! (APPLAUSE)
>> James: THAT WAS PHENOMENAL!
HERE'S THE NEWS. LAST NIGHT, AS EXPECTED, SENATE
DEMOCRATS TRIED AND FAILED TO CHANGE THE RULES OF THE
FILIBUSTER IN ORDER TO PASS THEIR ELECTION REFORM BILL.
THE MOTION WAS DEFEATED FIFTY-TWO TO FORTY-EIGHT, WITH
DEMOCRATS JOE MANCHIN AND KYRSTEN CINEMA SIDING WITH
REPUBLICANS. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THE
DEMCRATS, BUT NEVER HAS A PARTY BEEN ON A HOTTER STREAK OF
GETTING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING DONE. I MEAN, STRAIGHT FLAMES.
STRAIGHT FLAMES. FROZEN ROPE, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
YOU'RE LOOKING AT A FROZEN ROPE OF FAILURE.
IT'S ALL VERY TECHNICAL, I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.
THE BIG TAKEAWAY IS THE PEOPLE YOU VOTED FOR, VOTED TO MAKE IT
HARDER FOR YOU TO VOTE. IN OTHER POLITICAL NEWS.
ACCORDING TO A NEW AP POLL, SEVENTY PERCENT OF LIKELY VOTERS
DON'T WANT PRESIDENT BIDEN TO RUN FOR RE-ELECTION.
WHEN ASKED ABOUT THIS, PRESIDENT BIDEN SAID, I D I DON'T BELIEVEE
POLLS. FAKE NEWS?
WE DO THIS ALL THE TIME ON THE SHOW,
ALSO, WHERE ARE THESE POLLS HAPPENING?
I HEAR ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME, BUT I'VE NEVER MET A SINGLE
PERSON WHO'S EVER TAKEN ONE. YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS LIKE THEY
SAY SOME SWIMMING POOLS HAVE THAT CHLORINE THAT
TURNS A DIFFERENT COLOR IF YOU PEE IN IT, BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN
IT HAPPEN, AND I'VE PEED IN SO MANY POOLS.
SOMETIMES, IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE EXCITING.
YOU'RE LIKE, I WONDER IF IT'S -- YOU --
(LAUGHTER) >> James: IT ISN'T!
I MEAN, AND THEN SOMEONE GOES, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. >> DO YOU EVER MAKE EYE CONTACT
WITH SOMEONE WHILE IT'S HAPPENING?
>> James: DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS?
AMAZON IS OWNING ITS FIRST PHYSICAL CLOTHING STORE RIGHT
HERE IN LOS ANGELES. THEY ARE OFFERING HUNDREDS OF
BRANDS, AND A TONIGHTING ROOM, THAT REQUESTS ITEMS TO TRY ON
WITHOUT HAVING TO LEAVE. AMAZON.COM MORE LIKE
AMAZON.STORE, AM I RIGHT? REALLY IS NO WAY TO GUESS WHO
WROTE THAT JOKE! YEAH!
OH MAN. HERE IS A LITTLE ADVICE.
IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO LAUNCH A CLOTHING STORE, TRY NOT TO HAVE
A PHOTO GO VIRAL WHERE YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE THIS:
MOVING ON. THE PRODUCTION COMPANY BEHIND
TOM CRUISE'S UPCOMING SPACE MOVIE
HAS JUST ANNOUNCED PLANS TO LAUNCH THE FIRST-EVER FILM
STUDIO IN SPACE. THE STUDIO WOULD BE ATTACHED TO
A NEW COMMERCIAL SPACE STATION AND IS SET TO OPEN BY 2024.
WOULD REALLY HELP IMPROVE HOLLYWOOD'S REPUTATION FOR BEING
TOO ELITIST AND OUT OF TOUCH. HERE'S WHAT THE TV AND FILM
STUDIO WOULD LOOK LIKE EXCITING.
OBVIOUSLY, THE STUDIO WAS DESIGNED BY THE MAKERS OF THE
HITACHI MAGIC WAND (BLEEP) TOY. ARE WE ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT
HITACHI'S MAGIC WAND SEX TOY, NICK?
IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. BEFORE THE SHOW, NICK, MAKEUP.
FULL MAKEUP, GETTING A FULL MAKEUP TOUCHUP BY DIANA.
HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON, JUST A FEW WEEKS.
HE'S GOT HIS OWN CBS-PAID- FOR MUCH BAG.
ANYONE ELSE ON THE CREW DO YOU GET MAKEUP?
ROB? >> NO GROOMING FOR ME.
>> James: IF YOU WOULD BUY MAKEUP WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
>> PROBABLY THE AMAZON .STORE. >> James: YEAH!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AND HERE'S SOME NEWS FROM MY
HOMELAND. QUEEN ELIZABETH IS RELEASING HER
OWN LINE OF ROYAL CONDIMENTS. IT'S TRUE.
THE ROYAL ESTATE CONDIMENTS WILL COME IN TWO VARIETIES: TOMATO
SAUCE AND BROWN SAUCE. YEAH PS.
THIS IS 2022 IN A NUTSHELL. EVEN THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND IS
LIKE, I'VE GOT TO GET A SIDE HUSTLE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THIS IS GOING ON FOR.
AND THESE AREN'T THE ONLY CONDIMENTS THE QUEEN IS
RELEASING. SHE'S JUST ANNOUNCED A
COLLABORATION WITH MEGAN THEE STALLION ON POPEYE'S NEW
HER ROYAL HOTTIE SAUCE. HERE'S A CRAZY VIRAL VIDEO.
DURING A LIVE WEATHER FORECAST, A REPORTER WAS HIT BIBY THE
SCENE. SHE'S OKAY, TAKE A LOOK.
>> WATER MAIN BREAKS. >> I GOT HIT BY A CAR BUT I'M
OKAY, TIM. I'M OKAY.
>> THAT'S FOR YOU. >> WE'RE ALL GOOD, I'M OKAY,
THAT'S LIVE TV FOR YOU, I ACTUALLY GOT HIT BY A CAR IN
COLLEGE, TOO, JUST LIKE THAT! >> James: AND THEY SAY YOU
WON'T USE THE THINGS YOU LEARN IN COLLEGE!
IS IT ME OR COULD THE CO -ANCHOR TIM NOT BE LESS CONCERNED?
WHEN THAT HAPPENED, EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS STUDIO WENT OH!
TIM JUST WENT LIKE THAT! WELL, THAT'S A FIRST ON NETWORK
TELEVISION. I DON'T KNOW TIM, I DON'T KNOW
WHO HE IS, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM.
I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF IN A WEEK'S TIME I HEARD A STORY HE
KNOWS AND PAYS THE DRIVER OF THAT CAR!
WATCH YOUR BACK, WATCH HOW UNMOVED HE IS, LOOK!
>> I JUST GOT HIT BY A CAR BUT I'M OKAY, TIM.
>> THAT'S FIRST THING ON TV TORY.
>> James: JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET HIT BY A CAR, HE
REACTED THE SAME WAY THAT I DO WHEN THEY'RE LIKE OH THE CHECK
HERE, WE'LL BRING IT RIGHT NOW. HIS EYES WERE LIKE, I SAID GO
OVER HER, MAN! I DIDN'T SAY BUMP HER.
I SAID TAKE HER DOWN! THAT LOOKS LESS LIKE A NEWS
BROADCAST AND MORE LIKE A TRAILER FOR THE NEW MOVIE.