- When you give him distance,
it completely repolarizes the magnetism, the dynamic.
And in this video,
I'm gonna show you exactly how to do that,
how to repolarize the energy, how to pull your energy back,
and how that will completely change the level
of magnetism you are putting out.
Now, the thing to mention with this
to understand is this is really just an energy game.
That's all that is.
And we don't wanna say necessarily a game,
but it kind of is in a way, in the sense
that the energy we put out, we are getting a reflection of,
and people are playing according to the dynamics
that we are kind of engaging with them with.
So when it comes to somebody that is feeling either repulsed
or that is backing away their energy,
the thing to remember is that
if you would just let them do that, just let them back away,
let them go into their own energy field,
what you would end up finding out is
that it actually does way more good
and it allows them to process whatever they're going through
and it allows them to be in their own space
so that then they desire to actually come back
into your energy.
And think about it in an analogy I've shared
in many YouTube videos, but in comparing this to a dog,
if you start chasing a dog, the dog plays with you,
it's responding to the energy you're putting out.
Now, I'm not saying whoever you're dating is a dog,
but what I'm saying is when that is,
if you stop chasing a dog, the dog will just kind
of turn around and be there.
But if you chase, it's like, oh, oh,
and it starts running away
'cause it thinks you're playing
or she thinks you're playing.
And in the same way when it comes to dating,
it's like people feel the energy that's being put out.
And the challenge as well is that if it's a needy energy,
if it's a needy energy, if it's an energy that's kind
of codependent, that's almost like,
"If you gave me validation or love or support,
then I would feel better."
They feel that.
It's an energetic thing and it's very off-putting.
So sometimes in this dynamic, all you have to do is let go
and trust that them being in their own field will
then allow them to either appreciate you or to go
on their way and then you don't continue to waste your time.
So what this is really about is this is an energy dynamic
that has to do with being able to be receptive
as to why he may be asking for space to begin with as well.
And sometimes there's one
of two options I can generally see here.
On one hand, he may be somebody
that just wants somebody or whatever the dynamic is,
but he/she, but it's somebody that wants to be
in their own field
because maybe they've been feeling too enmeshed
in the energy field.
Maybe they've lost a sense
of who they are versus who somebody else is.
This is actually something that recently has come up
in my own relationship because my girlfriend and I,
we realized, okay, I'm gonna share some of this.
Basically, what we realized is very early on
in the relationship, we've been together for a year now,
and very early on in the relationship,
we kind of moved very quickly where we kind
of in a way moved in.
She lived in California, I lived in Austin or lived in Texas
and we go back and forth with each other.
But what we noticed is that when I would go with her,
I'd be with her for a week.
She would come here, she'd normally come here for months.
And it was either all or nothing
because we lived in different cities
and when we visited each other,
it was like we were around each other all day, every day.
Now, after about a year, what we realized is
that it was getting in the way of the relationship
in the sense to where, I think part
of it too is my frame and my reality.
I have a schedule, I have routines,
I have retreats that I do.
And my girlfriend is in a process
of really moving into a new sector
of her life where she does her own retreat,
she does her own things.
And it was challenging for her to do her own things
when around all of my stuff
because all my stuff has such a big gravity
because I've been doing it for a while and stuff like that.
So what we found out is what she's doing is she's moving
to Austin, but she's getting her own place.
And what we found
for our relationship is we actually are able
to really appreciate each other in a much deeper way.
She's able to do her things, I'm able to do my things
and we're not living on top of each other.
And it was feeling at a certain point
that things are becoming too enmeshed.
We were around each other all the time
and she wants to do her.
She's an amazing musician.
So she wants to do her music.
She wants to focus on things,
but it's challenging for her to do when there's
so much of like,
I have people that come over that are on my team
and stuff like that.
So I can totally see where she's coming from.
Now, the space though, of her actually going
and having her own space here
in Austin has been a game changer
because then when we see each other,
we're able to actually appreciate each other.
It's not just going through the motions.
We're able to go out on dates, we're able to kind
of re-intimate a new level of polarity.
But the interesting thing is, is that
that polarity was very much dwindled
when we were around each other all day, every day.
Now this isn't to say as well, there's some couples
that can be around each other all day, every day,
and maintain polarity.
So it's not like that's the answer for everybody.
But what I'm saying is, if you would trust the process
and actually be in your own field and pull your energy back,
you may find that then the other person begins
to appreciate you more.
Her and I are able to appreciate each other more.
And when we come together, we're able
to actually be very emotionally available
and present for each other.
The other challenge is that we both work from home.
So we're here all day, every day,
just go out to go to the gym
and random appointments and stuff.
But other than that, we're around each other 24/7
'cause we also work from home.
So sometimes it was hard for us to delineate like, okay,
I'm working right now and I wanna see you,
but I have to stay focused on this thing.
And it's just much easier now
that we see each other a couple times a week
and we're able to really be present
with each other and there's way more polarity there,
there's way more appreciation there.
And in the same way, one thing that I can absolutely see
when it comes to dating in the very early stages
as well is pulling your energy back,
being in your own frame, and giving them distance,
allows them to actually appreciate you.
The interesting thing is my girlfriend and I,
we actually went through a week of taking space
where we didn't know where the relationship was gonna go
because we're like, we just need space,
our energies were so intertwined.
And when we had that week of space,
we didn't know whether we were gonna get back together
or be together or what.
And what we found out is just through having that distance
and having that space,
we really learned how much we really appreciate each other
and how much we want to be together.
And that was a very interesting dynamic.
So giving this person space
and giving them distance is gonna allow them
to actually appreciate you,
and also separate their energy fields
to realize what do I want?
What do I want?
Or what do they want?
Because what happens is
when you're around someone energetically,
we have these energetic fields that are all intertwined
with other people we're around.
That's why they say the five people you're around the most,
you end up becoming the most like.
It's because not only are you thinking, feeling,
and acting similar to them by picking up their habits
and stuff, but literally, the energy
within your field is very similar.
So you're merging into each other's energy field.
And what happens is sometimes you won't,
it's hard to even delineate what are my thoughts
versus their thoughts.
And you think the thoughts at the same time.
It's an interesting thing that happens,
it's like a phenomenon that happens
when people are around each other a lot.
But when you separate it, you can then really appreciate
and also feel safe in your own body.
And it allows you to then come back together
with more polarity.
I've heard of couples as well.
I don't know if I agree with this necessarily,
but there's some couples that do live together
and they some days will sleep in different beds
because then it increases the polarity
when they come back together.
So I don't know if there's certain times
of the month they do that or what the deal is.
I don't know if I necessarily know how healthy is,
I'm just talking out loud right now.
(Aaron chuckling)
But I have heard people say that it increases polarity.
But just mainly the energy dynamic is
that when you pull your energy back and you're safe
in your own frame, you allow the other person
to then appreciate you.
But also to like, they're asking if they,
sometimes they may be subconsciously
or in ways giving you signs that they want some distance.
And when you give them the distance,
the thing you're afraid of is like, if I give them distance,
they're gonna get too much distance
and they're gonna go away.
That's fear and that's not trusting the process.
And instead, when you give them space,
it allows them to go through their process,
it allows them to get their needs met,
and to feel safe in their own body
so that when they come back with you,
it feels even more safe, it feels even more passion,
it feels even more polarity.
So it's really about becoming aware of these energies
and the control that sometimes we try to embark on.
We try to embark on a level of,
a lot of talking about dogs and stuff like that.
Dogs and barking.
(Aaron chuckling)
But becoming aware of why do you want them?
Why are you afraid to give them distance?
Because if you're afraid to give them distance
because if they go too far away, you'll lose them,
then that's a belief that's based on fear.
And a lot of times that's rooted in childhood trauma
or childhood energy where we are afraid
that maybe our parents are gonna leave
or maybe at one point our parents became emotionally
or physically unavailable.
And then we started to internalize this
and we started to believe that there's something wrong
with me, I'm broken.
And becoming aware of these stories
and these beliefs was a game changer when it came
to me attracting love, and a game changer when it comes
to me doing my inner work.
I realized that the biggest blocks I had to love,
the biggest blocks I had in dating, the biggest blocks I had
in general was that I believed I was broken.
There was a level of shame.
Shame is a belief that's like,
"There's something wrong with me."
And because I felt like there was something wrong with me,
I kept attracting people that I felt I had
to prove myself to.
I would also attract myself to people that were, at points,
there was a certain level
where I was emotionally unavailable,
but I wasn't aware of it.
I just had the story
that everyone else was emotionally unavailable.
And I would attract people that also had emotional blocks
because we tend to attract people
that are one-on-one reflections.
So what I was talking earlier, I was mentioning like,
"Oh, there's one of two things when you meet somebody."
On one hand maybe they just want space and distance.
On the other hand, it's a possibility
that somebody may be afraid of the emotional availability.
They may be afraid of getting that emotionally close
and intimate and them backing away may be a way
of them avoiding that.
But the key is awareness here, being aware of which it is.
And also becoming aware of,
does the reason you're chasing that
or the reason you desire that, is it because mom
or dad was emotionally unavailable and that just feels safe?
That just feels familiar.
So it's realizing these patterns and
that within the patterns of what you're attracting,
there's also a certain level that feels familiar with that
or has that activated.
So I had to become aware of this energy for myself
and how much I was showing up emotionally unavailable.
And I had to realize all these things for me
to then understand that the key was opening up my heart,
going into vulnerability
and to stop telling myself the story
that this person is gonna equal my happiness,
this person's validation, love
or support is gonna equal me feeling whole and complete.
It was a game changer when I learned that energy dynamic.
And I then started to feel whole and complete my body
and I let go of the shame and I started to realize,
"Wait, I am worthy.
I am enough just for being me."
And then it became about just being in my own frame.
Now, one of the most magnetic techniques I've ever taught,
I've ever learned is something called the frame technique
where you feel inside your hands and your body
and you feel the separation between you
and the other person.
You give the person energetic distance.
You pull your energy back.
That will make you more attractive.
People will feel that
because when your energy cords are connected,
because you're around someone or thinking of them a lot,
they're feeling that energy cord.
And what you're thinking and pumping energy
into their field in a way, energetically,
sending them energy.
The challenge is that it's sending energy normally
from a place that feels like your energy,
like there's something wrong.
It's almost like you're thinking of that person,
you're sending them energy,
and if you're feeling resistance
and you're feeling fear they're gonna leave
or that's really also a fear of abandonment.
Then what happens is you're sending them that energy,
they feel it.
But when you pull your energy back
and you stop sending that energy
and you start focusing on yourself, it allows that to clear
and it allows you to also feel more safe
within your own body.
It allows you to stop projecting that onto them,
which is repelling them.
So this is really simply about, this is an energy game.
That's all this is, an energy game of yourself.
Not of them, not of playing
against or competing with other people.
This is an energy awareness game
where the more aware you become of the stories,
the more aware you become
of when you're projecting energy out at somebody else,
and the more you're aware
that you can pull your energy back,
that's when you will truly
and really feel completely whole and complete.
Now also, in case you haven't heard,
I've been doing this thing
where I text people my top insights, epiphanies,
high vibe book of the weeks I'm learning.
And I send that one or two emails
or one or two text messages a week.
And if you wanna get those
and you also wanna ask me questions that I'll ask
in future YouTube videos, then you can message me
if you live in the US and Canada
to 424-304-0104
or I'll link it below, but go ahead and text me
and I will be seeing those, getting back,
and I'll send you the high vibe thoughts of the week.
And then also, there's a video here that pairs perfectly
with them.
It's about how to let them miss you
and let the universe do its thing.
Watch this video, it will change your life.
When we're attached, what we do is we create resistance,
and this resistance is dependent
on how someone else is responding
or not responding to our own.