who dares disturb my slumber brand new
day it's a brand new bright sunny day
it's actually nighttime outside so
there's no [ __ ] sunlight anywhere I
hate it winter go away springtime a new
refresh me dogs outside with yet shut
the [ __ ] up
but a new day means it's time for more
love
[Music]
body
[Music]
it's too lazy to focus the camera on
that one so that's what you're gonna get
and out-of-focus blurry jacksepticeye
smacking whiteboard saying laughs you're
the one who clicked into this video okay
remember that whenever you're like ma'am
what is going on just in life in general
you clicked this video okay let's watch
some clips card serie no I wasn't
talking to you suddenly she just starts
listen she's like that person at the
parties who everyone's having a great
time and hahaha and they just walk over
to drink and then they're like yeah Oh
Karen
what you said is amazing didn't catch
the start of it but I want to be part of
the group
[ __ ] off series but y'all won't focus
know about Hera gammy I know nothing
about Harry cami she's still listening
shut up in Japan the art of folding
paper is origami now experience the art
of folding hair with Hera Donnie for
beautiful folded hair fashions that will
amaze you roll it up let's and let us
bring out and roll your hair into the
perfect bun this is my badge I actually
think that that's pretty cool but is it
just me is the actual video like that or
is that my tinnitus that I can hear the
33 glamour guide shows you how my dog
for special occasions like weddings or
parties your hair to look like a double
helix if you want your hair to look like
some sort of satanic symbol here egami
is the thing for you I want to get one
now my hair is getting quite long again
quite long and poofy maybe I'm worth it
maybe it's Laurie oh you don't even
[ __ ] know what Harry Gami could solve
my worries call and get a second hair
egami for double buns and more all of
today's callers also get this crap
action what [ __ ] what was this sound
effect oh also get that back
we need to be 18 or older to get a hairy
gammy song I don't want any of its
audience I just remember the tick tock
this one this one's the best I don't
know what song this is I'm gonna keep
talking just in case
[Laughter]
excelente I have a very big problem with
my hair I have a very big problem with
my fashion sense I want my hair to look
like it's been attacked by a bird's nest
please hair egami save me can i buy it
again
everything about this [ __ ] are these
on this series I want to buy there I
bought one I bought a herring Cammie
you're gonna see it in four to six weeks
I don't know what I feel about something
called the goon suit can't hide bottles
in your desk too hard to drink openly in
the office stop
you need the goon suit the goon suit
looks like any other suit but carries
litres of cask wine seamlessly in the
lining pour booze in through a special
valve and a mouthpiece disguised as a
pen lets you drink with fire hold in
that meeting or kicking goals in that
job interview they'll never know you're
really drinking good no more awkward
that's awesome now and get the free good
suit fine attachment it looks like
you're taking a call but you're really
drinking good looks like you tried to
suck the components out of your phone so
this is clearly fake right this is not
an actual thing it reminds me at the
wine rack that I got the white bra that
I have used every single event that I've
gone to okay hanging out with friends of
just sipping on wine and people like man
your cup size is really increased and I
said thank you I'm an alcoholic now and
for a limited time only you'll also
receive the good suit coffee cup Wang's
like a regular coffee cup but you put
booze in it that's good I like that a
lot
that's clever so it is Oh
some people would actually believe
that's real though
so goon is an Australian slang term
basically goon is a general name for
Casca wine or boxed wine godheads
does that mean people who drink it are
called Gunners or something I shouldn't
say that that I don't even know if
that's a [ __ ] slang term or it's
something that people are called and you
shouldn't call people that I don't know
it so many words so today that I'm
afraid I like this one don't even know
you're really drinking good I'm getting
drunk off my tits no I've tried bad
diets powders pills still my weights
been up and down like a yo-yo
until the aids plan taught me how to
take off weight and help keep it off
aids may taste like a candy but aids
contains one of the most effective
appetite suppressants you can buy and
there's no stimulant and aids that could
make you nervous no no this is a real
one is this a real thing they thought
that you could go out there and be like
here try aids it's great for weight loss
no peanut butter aids wait is this a
South Park was making fun of with Jared
from Subway he said that he used AIDS to
lose weight I got AIDS about two years
ago and I've been losing weight ever
since
it's amazing how claim you can get with
a peanut butter aids but he was saying
AI des like people who aid him is that
what they were making fun of his aids an
actual thing my god people are [ __ ]
weird it was an actual thing I wonder
why it didn't take off you know when
you're feeling like a hyung go in your
bungo and you want to just snack on all
those calories and go to your fridge and
munch munch munch try aids and said aids
is great aids will help you lose weight
and keep it off you know what I'm saying
and age candy has no stimulant that can
make you nervous
aids candies no stimulant that makes you
nervous was that have worried back then
that appetite suppressors had stuff that
make it made you worry
delicious chocolate flavor and I love
being a size head again
Wow such an old ass commercial she
didn't even eat the [ __ ] thing who
aids before each meal Wow yeah the plant
lets you really take care of yourself
just with this saboteur mmm I really
love the taste of air I was overweight
and embarrassed to go anyplace aids help
me get back into a size 12 yeah sorry
sorry I'm allergic to [ __ ] eight
help me lose the weight and he has
nothing in it that could make me nervous
like hey Melinda you going to just
[ __ ] say this line it doesn't even
matter what you're doing yeah [ __ ] yeah
eighths doesn't have anything that'll
make me worry and it doesn't have a
suppressor that makes you one it's great
for keeping off the wait can I have a
[ __ ] money why take diet pills when
you can enjoy aid so they probably went
out and we're like this is clever
because it's subverting the expectation
and we're saying something that's gonna
catch people's attention right it's like
coding something like the the mouth
Kummer thank with mouth cover I don't
have to worry anymore about having extra
saliva in my mouth I know what the [ __ ]
I'm talking about
Oh No do all these people have AIDS
you're gonna take so much sugar and I
don't want fascinating no thank you
I have AIDS because like what you look
as broad as this and you'd rather look
as slim as this try the AIDS reducing
plan I know about you guys but I'm sold
anyway I've had enough of AIDS
okay I don't care about them anymore I'm
supposed to be having a fun time
this is Funniest Home Videos not
questionable product why did they make
it I don't want anything to do with it
how did they think this was a good idea
products if you want to be a size eight
and keep the weight off then all you
gotta do is try it laughs because laughs
help you suppress the appetite but keep
the weight off as well and they don't
have any [ __ ] stimulants
all right butter me up Betty what have
we got on the chopping block next I want
to laugh until my sides fall out okay
who wants to clean and Debono
I'll do it my gift you want to do it
just when you see what I've got no it's
the Wunder boner Oh wonder boner
you laugh now just watch just wait until
you see my boner show that wonderful
that's disgusting you know your boners
just covered in flesh meeting bones I'll
admit it okay I've had a few boners in
my time I might have been rockin some
for half the videos I've made on YouTube
but they've never looked like that the
Wunder boners unique design removes the
bones from God it turns your fish into a
[ __ ] scaly condom my wife would like
that I get it I get it I get it I get it
it's hard to boat the boat and fish it's
a process that not many people want to
do and you want to get to your delicious
tasty fishy goodness this is not the way
to do you get the wonderful know how
much 1990 fight for a boner they could
just think real hard and get one for
free
I do wonder how well products like this
sell because a lot of them are basing
like this at least is a decent idea it's
something that if it actually works
whatever but I wonder how many people
sell stuff like this just because of the
name like the AIDS suppressant or the
the boner thing it's like Tommy get in
here get out that fish boat or thing
that you have my kids they're weird the
top carpet what's next the masturbator
it's good that's funnier than a whole
commercial as an accompaniment
accompaniment to go with your Wunder
boner for deboning fish to catch the
fish now try our masturbator just put
the masturbator on your rod and you will
be able to catch fish all day ah there's
a lot of jokes in there Oh No
is there a thing no do you want to be a
great fisherman
no have you tried fishing but just can't
seem to like this is a joke now you can
learn to bait like an expert
before I learned secrets from the
masturbate video I spent hours fiddling
with a useless limp rod
now my wife smiles when she sees me
bringing home fish because she knows I'm
coming with a big load yes
way to take the joke and roll with it I
like that a lot
well II I need to get away from the
actual product stuff every episode just
evolves into that because they're
hilarious there's seemingly an infinite
amount of them but there are other clips
that we can watch such as the classic
objects that I've shoved up my arse um J
star shoved up my ass
okay good start vibrators
short dildos okay same category pains
okay that's not used for penis pain
souls coins what pebbles
boomstick handle okay fishing rods
handle okay umbrella handle a lot of
handles toothbrush handle okay you win
you are big too small okay just that
one's not that impressive okay stick
handle Jesus Christ fingers screwdriver
handle lots of handles stiff the handles
of this and then you're thinking what
else around your house could you shove
up your Aris a pen some pencils just
goes fingers stiff [ __ ] my wife would
like that what is this episode there is
a lot of sexually suggestive content in
this episode screan [ __ ] knock down
my youtube so fast but you know what I
don't care with the last bastion of
swearing and sensitive content on
YouTube we need to keep it that way I
told you I have a deal with the censors
now that we can get away with this [ __ ]
and if they come down hard upon me I'll
claim B'Elanna
okay excellent
I like that video quite a bit you know
what it had a title it said exactly what
it was gonna do and that's all the video
was and I applaud you for that it wasn't
clickbait
it was just pure good fun oh I had this
one saved ages ago but I mean the meme
is dead by now but this poor puffer fish
is that the actual sound that's making I
feel so bad for him
poor little puffer fish it's just like
please I can't breathe oh no oh no oh no
this is the original video I didn't know
this the original video is just him
eating the carrot and then they take him
over and actually chop all up and kill
him oh this is [ __ ] punishment
there's a lot more sense I never
actually watched the end of this video
I'm sad now well that does it for this
episode is jacksepticeye he's Funniest
Home Videos and I know if they were that
funny it was a lot of emotions to take
in in a single episode but I hope that
you guys enjoyed it anyway
I watched these clips so you also have
to it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make
what was your favorite clip what was
your favorite video from today's episode
season 2 still going strong
more lose than ever the show is really
turning into why do I want to buy this
who the [ __ ] would buy this why does
this exist and also ah but I hope you
had fun and I hope you had some laughs
but until next time that's going to be
it from me your host Jack septic penis
good night everybody
ow
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
my wife would like that