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- Hey Psych2Goers, welcome back to our channel.
You've given us so much love, and that means a lot to us.
Your ongoing support helps us to make psychology
and mental health more accessible to everyone
and we want to thank you for that, so thank you.
As a quick disclaimer, we wanted to let you know
that this video is meant for informative purposes only.
This video should not be used
as any kind of diagnostic criteria.
If you're dealing with something like abuse,
we encourage you to please seek help.
With that said, let's begin.
Relationships with your family and friends define your life
and also shape how you experience and engage with others.
Attached to each relationship you create,
are experiences and memories.
However, sometimes what you experience in relationships
can hurt and scar you.
These mental scars influence any new relationships
you may be trying to build.
So here are six signs of people who may have suffered abuse.
Number one, you have feelings of insufficiency.
Feeling insufficient is a sign of abuse.
There's probably a sense of unworthiness
that follows you around.
Such feelings stem from an unstable sense of self
stemming from emotionally, verbally.
or physically abusive relationships.
In an abusive relationship,
an abuser plants false ideas in your mind.
The power of these ideas is not in the words being used,
but rather in who said them and how.
Signs of low self-esteem are: pessimism, hostility,
lack of motivation, or being a bad communicator.
You might be depressed
or have other mental health conditions.
Fortunately, self-esteem can improve.
Working out, changing the negative narrative in your head,
and practicing mindfulness can help boost your self-esteem.
Number two, you have flashbacks.
Flashbacks to previous traumas can come in the form of PTSD.
PTSD can affect anyone and is not limited to war veterans,
refugees, or victims of assault.
If you've ever been in an abusive relationship,
you may have Complex PTSD or CPTSD.
CPTSD develops when you suffer repetitive abuse
over an extended period of time.
The stressful event or situation you were exposed to
was exceptionally threatening
or of a catastrophic nature
which caused you pervasive distress.
Do you relive the traumatic events
through intrusive flashbacks, dreams, or vivid memories?
Do you actively avoid circumstances that are similar
or associated with the event?
Some physical symptoms of PTSD include:
difficulty falling or staying asleep,
increased psychological sensitivity, irritability
difficulty regulating your emotions,
and difficulty concentrating.
CPTSD may also exist alongside depression, anxiety,
and borderline personality disorder.
It can cause cognitive distortions
that's just catastrophizing
all or nothing thinking or labeling.
You might think things like,
"If I do not finish the project perfectly,
then it won't be good and I'll be a total failure."
Or, "I just know that they'll end up breaking my heart.
So why even bother being in a relationship?"
If you or someone you know is dealing with CPTSD,
please reach out to a therapist
or licensed professional for treatment.
The therapies provided will help
to replace negative thought patterns,
deal with stress and suicidal urges.
Number three, you struggle with cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance, also known as CD,
can be another sign of past trauma.
CD is when you hold on to two contradictory beliefs
at the same time.
An example of cognitive dissonance
would be when someone smokes a cigarette,
despite knowing that it can cause cancer.
In a past abusive relationship,
you felt as though you could not trust your own perception
and have now developed desire
to avoid similar situations in the future.
For example, the abuser may profess their love for you
but verbally abused you.
This creates a sense of internal confusion
that can make you wary of trusting others in the future.
There are validation journaling exercises
that can help you heal
and create positive thought patterns.
Talking to a licensed therapist can also help.
Number four, you feel numb to your emotions.
It can be very difficult to explain how it feels
to feel empty or numb.
Depression and anxiety also cause emotional numbness.
It's the mind's response to increase levels
of emotional or physical stress
and a desire to disengage from negative experiences.
Officially it's classified as depersonalization disorder.
Symptoms include: disassociation,
feeling like a stranger in someone else's life,
and distress.
Abuse creates emotional stress
which leads to the development
of depersonalization disorder.
In 2016, a study looked at continual exposure
to violence in children
and its relationship to depersonalization disorder.
They found that over the course of six years,
most of the participants became increasingly desensitized
regardless of their age or gender, but there is help.
Treatment for emotional numbness is possible
through coping strategies
such as identifying your triggers, exercising,
and reaching out to a support group when necessary.
Number five, you struggle with emotional detachment.
Paired with emotional numbness, is emotional detachment.
In an abusive relationship,
it's common for you to feel detached from yourself,
be it physically or emotionally.
Emotional detachment is a defense mechanism
used to cope with distressing and overwhelming emotions.
It's the mind's way of disengaging
from traumatic experiences.
It's also a tool that develops
in order for you to gain resilience against the abuse
and to keep your sense of self.
However, the effects of emotional detachment can linger
after the relationship has ended
and it can prevent you from opening up
and being emotionally vulnerable.
Yoga can help ground you in your body and your emotions.
Getting a pet, connecting with new friends,
or picking up a new hobby can also help you
to broaden your horizons emotionally and physically.
And number six, you have a habit of over-apologizing.
A result of low self esteem caused by abuse or trauma
is to constantly apologize.
Those who have endured abuse in the past
often apologize for things that are not their fault.
And this habit originates from feelings of inadequacy,
worthlessness, or blame.
A good thing to keep in mind is that your needs matter
and are important.
With therapy,
you can help to replace self-defeating thought patterns
with positive ones.
Did you relate to any of these signs?
Past hurts do not have to determine future outcomes.
If you recognize any of the signs of abuse in your own life,
or of someone you know,
please reach out to a professional for treatment.
Like and share this video if it helped you
and you think it could help someone else too.
The studies and references used
are listed in the description below.
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Thank you so much for watching and we'll see you next time.
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