HEY, NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK.
>> GOOD TO BE HERE.
HI, YES, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: NOW, THERE'S A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER
PAUSE-- YOU'RE CANADIAN.
>> I AM CANADIAN.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: AND THIS WEEK, CANADA VOTED TO LEGALIZE
MARIJUANA.
>> YES.
RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA WAS LEGALIZED IN CANADA THIS WEEK.
>> Stephen: ONLY THE SECOND COUNTRY IN THE WORLD TO DO IT.
>> YEAH, MAKING IT A SPECIFICALLY GOOD WEEK TO BE A
CANADIAN PERSON, I WOULD SAY.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> FOR MANY REASON S.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
>> FOR MORE THAN-- I MEAN, YEAH, THIS WEEK TRUMP MADE PRISONS FOR
KIDS AND CANADA LEGALIZED RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA.
SO THAT'S-- I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'S AN OFFICIAL GRADE
GRADING SYSTEM FOR THE WEEKS A COUNTRY HAS HAD.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE RUNNING UP THE SCORE.
>> THAT WAS A GOOD WEEK FOR CANADA, IN MY OPINION.
>> Stephen: NOW THAT MARIJUANA IS LEGALIZED, YOU CAN RETURN TO
YOUR HOME PLANET?
>> I FEEL LIKE IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS I MANIFESTED, LIKE, I
WANTED IT SO BADLY -- >> Stephen: YOU'RE AN AVATAR
OF "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?" >> IT IS THE REASONABLE THING TO
DO.
IT IS SOMETHING THAT CAN ENHANCE THE LIVES OF PEOPLE-- IT'S
ENHANCED MY LIFE SINCE I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, I HONESTLY THINK
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: 13.
>> AND THAT'S PROBABLY TOO YOUNG FOR MOST PEOPLE TO START
ENHANCING THEIR LIVES.
BUT FOR ME IT'S GOOD.
IT'S MORE REGULATED IN CANADA BUT ANYONE WHO IS ABOVE THE
LEGAL AGE CAN BUY IT RECREATIONALLY, WHICH IS A HUGE
WIN AND A STEP FORWARD IN THE GOOD DIRECTION, AND I CAN'T WAIT
TO GO BACK TO CANADA.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: WELL, OKAY-- AS I
SAID, AS I SAID, WELCOME BACK.
WE HAD A LOVELY TIME WITH YOU LAST TIME.
THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE WE HAD A LITTLE FUN.
YOU HAD YOUR PHONE AND FOR SOME REASON-- AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
>> WHY, YEAH.
>> Stephen: DONALD TRUMP JR. WAS FOLLOWING YOU.
>> ON TWITTER, YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND YOU FOLLOWED HIM.
SO WE DM'D HIM.
>> WE MESSAGED HIM.
HE NEVER RESPONDED.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS MY QUESTION.
I THINK THE D.M. WE SENT WAS, "WHY AREN'T YOU RESPONDING TO
ME?
WHY ARE YOU BEING SO COLD ABOUT IT?"
HE GHOSTED YOU.
>> HE GHOSTED MY ASS.
IT'S OKAY BECAUSE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY HAVE
BEEN REACHING OUT TO ME RECENTLY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD.
>> I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM MITT ROMNEY, RECENTLY, WHICH WAS A
WEIRD CALL TO GET.
>> Stephen: SURE.
ARE YOU SURE IT WASN'T A ROBOCALL.
>> EXACTLY.
HE IS A LITTLE-- HE'S NOT THE LOOSEST OF GUYS, I GUESS YOU
WOULD SAY.
AND WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO HIM YOU REALIZE THE NAME "MITT" SAY
WEIRD NAME.
LIKE, IT'S-- IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE "MITT ROMNEY" IS
NOT THAT WEIRD.
BUT CALLING A GUY, "SO MITT," THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT SHORT FOR?
>> IT MUST BE SHORT FOR MITTENS.
THAT'S WHAT MITT IS SHORT FOR.
>> Stephen: OUR MITTUE.
>> BASEBALL MIDST.
I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: HE COLD CALLS YOU OUT OF THE BLUE.
>> YES.
IT'S FOR A VERY NICE REASON.
HE HOLDAISE GIANT SUMMIT EVERY YEAR WHERE HE INVITES SPEAKERS
FROM ALL ACROSS-- FROM BOTH POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS --
>> Stephen: AND CANADIANS.
>> AND CANADIANS TO TALK ABOUT A CERTAIN THING EVERY YEAR, AND
THIS YEAR THE SUBJECT WAS BRAIN HEALTH.
AND I HAVE A CHARITY FOR ALZHEIMER'S.
AND HE INVITED ME TO TALK ABOUT ALZHEIMER'S, WHICH WAS,
HONESTLY, VERY NICE.
>> THAT'S NICE.
>> AND I THOUGHT IT'S A GOOD CHANCE TO KIND OF, YOU KNOW,
REACH ACROSS THE AISLE AS IT WERE.
SO I WENT THERE, AND ALMOST ALL THE ATTENDEES WERE-- WERE
REPUBLICAN PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: MAKES SENSE.
>> AND SO-- AND I WAS-- I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
AND SO I-- BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I WOULD REACT, HONESTLY, IN
EVERY SITUATION.
SO I WAS PUT INTO A WEIRD-- IN A BIT OF A PICKLE, WHEREIN AT ONE
POINT TWO YOUNG-- VERY YOUNG, LIKE, VERY YOUNG, WHITE,
TEENAGED MEN-- THINK HOW WHITE THEY WERE IF I NOTICED HOW WHITE
THEY WERE.
( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE I'M WHITE!
I'M CANADIAN.
WE'RE THE WHITEST PEOPLE.
AND SO-- AND THEY ASKED TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME.
THEY WERE MAYBE, LIKE, 16, 17.
>> Stephen: FANS.
>> FANS.
VERY NICE FANS.
CLEARLY FANS OF MINE.
AND THEN THEY SAID, "OUR DAD WANTS TO MEET YOU."
AND I TURNED AROUND AND PAUL RYAN WAS WALKING TOWARDS ME.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
HOW DID THAT GO?
>> WELL, I DIDN'T-- I-- I-- MY WHOLE BODY PUCKERED, AS IT WERE.
I TENSED UP.
( LAUGHTER ) AND I KIND OF-- I MEAN-- AND I
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
AND HE CAME OVER, JUST GRABBED MY HAND.
AND I'M JUST, LIKE, SHAKING HIS HAND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
AND HE SAID, "CAN I HAVE A PICTURE WITH YOU?"
AND I LOOK OVER AND HIS KIDS ARE STANDING RIGHT THERE
EXPECTANTLY, CLEARLY FANS OF MINE, AND I SAID, "NO WAY, MAN!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: OH, NO.
OH, NO!
>> AND I COULDN'T-- AND I COULDN'T STOP.
AND I SAID, "FURTHERMORE, I HATE WHEN YOU'RE DOING TO THE COUNTRY
AT THIS MOMENT, AND I COUNT THE DAYS TILL YOU NO LONGER HAVE ONE
IOTA OF THE POWER THAT YOU CURRENTLY HAVE."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AND I LOOK OVER AND HIS KIDS ARE
STILL STANDING RIGHT THERE!
AND I FEEL VERY CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS.
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.
>> AT THIS MOMENT.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT.
>> IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THEY SHOULD
PROBABLY LEARN IF THEY LIKE A MOVIE OR SONG, THE PERSON WHO
MADE THAT PROBABLY DOESN'T LIKE THEIR DAD THAT MUCH.
( LAUGHTER ) UNLESS THEY'RE WATCHING, LIKE,
"ROSEANNE" RERUNS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
MAYBE.
IN THAT INSTANT I FELT VERY-- HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW I
FEEL.
I'M GLAD I DIDN'T TAKE A PICTURE WITH PAUL RYAN.
MY HAND-- I TOUCHED HIM.
SO I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.
AND I FEEL EYE DON'T KNOW, HIS KIDS SEEMED LOVELY AND VERY
CAUCASIAN.
AND THAT IS MOSTLY MY TAKEAWAY FROM THE THING.
AND THEN I HAD TO GO UP AND SPEAK RIGHT AFTER.
I WAS VIBRATING FROM THAT INTERACTION.
AND ANTHONY SCARAMUCHI WAS ALSO THERE.
AND SO I GET UP ON STAGE, AND HE'S, LIKE THE FIRST FACE I LOCK
IN ON.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN SEE HIM RIGHT THERE.
>> AND I'M TALKING ABOUT ALZHEIMER'S, WHICH IS HARD TO
MAKE JOKES ABOUT, BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE A SWING AT IT.
I SAID, "WE'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT ALZHEIMER'S WHICH
POTENTIALLY, ANYONE WHO HAS A BRAIN, IT'S A POTENTIAL THREAT.
SO ANTHONY SCARAMUCHI IS IN THE CLEAR."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY.
AND THEN WHAT'S FUNNY IS THE NEXT DAY, I DID NOT SPEAK TO
ANTHONY SCARAMUCHI, I GOT OFF THE STAGE --
>> Stephen: AT ALL?
>> NO.
SO I LEFT, AND THE NEXT DAY I GOT A CALL-- MY TALENT AGENT
CALLED ME AND SAID, "I JUST GOT A CALL FROM ANTHONY SCARAMUCHI.
HE SAID HE MET YOU AT THIS CONFERENCE, THAT YOU REALLY HIT
IT OFF, AND THAT YOU TOLD HIM TO CALL ME ABOUT SOME POTENTIAL
PROJECTS."
AND I SAID, I TOLD THIS (BLEEP) HE HAD NO BRAIN!
>> Stephen: BUT HE COULDN'T REMEMBER THAT YOU SAID THAT
BECAUSE HE HAS NO BRAIN.
>> HE HAS NO BRAIN.
I FELL INTO MY OWN TRAP LOGICALLY THERE.
>> Stephen: HUH...
>> EVENTFUL WEEK.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE GLAD YOU WENT.
>> I'M GLAD I WENT.
MANY FROMMING SMART DOCTORS REMARK SIDE FROM ANTHONY
SCARAMUCHI.
I WANT TO THANK MITTENS FOR INVITING ME.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK, BUT DON'T GO WHAT BECAUSE
WHEN WE COME BACK I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT THE PRESIDENT'S TRIP
TO NORTH KOREA BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SETH ROGEN, EVERYBODY.