Vanessa: Hi, I'm Vanessa
from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com. Have you had a bad day? Let's talk about it.
Has someone ever asked you, "How are you doing?" And you've had a really bad day and you just
don't know what to say? Or maybe even worse, someone is telling you
about their bad day and you don't know what to say. You just say,
"Okay, sorry." Let me help you. In today's lesson, you're going to learn the top daily life
expressions to talk about difficult situations, so the next time you accidentally spill coffee
on your shirt, or someone tells you that their dog died, you will know exactly what to say.
And for today's lesson, like always, I have created a free PDF worksheet that you can download
right now with the link in the description. It includes all of today's expressions,
all of the situations and nuances when you should use them that we'll talk about today, and you can
answer Vanessa's challenge question at the bottom of the PDF worksheet. You can click on the link in
the description to download that worksheet today. All right, let's get started with the first
category, which is some minor inconveniences or difficulties, nothing too serious. How
disappointing. Ugh. This loaf of bread has already gone stale? How disappointing. My date
doesn't look anything like his profile picture? How disappointing. It's unfortunate. That's
unfortunate. This is especially used when there's some element of luck involved or maybe being
unlucky. Let's say you bite into a cookie. Ugh. I thought these were chocolate chip cookies, but
they have raisins. Ugh. That's unfortunate. It's just bad luck. It's not ideal. That's not ideal.
You could say there was a lot of traffic, so I took a shortcut and then I lost. It wasn't ideal.
Well, yeah, that's true. It's not the best situation. Ideal means amazing, the best.
So you might say, eh, that's not ideal. Or what about this situation? I wanted to
spend the weekend relaxing and then my mom asked me if I would help her to clean out her garage.
It's not ideal, but I'll help her. This wasn't my idea of a perfect weekend, but you know what? I'll
do it. It's not ideal, but I'll do it. Now, just a little note. This can be used sarcastically.
Let's imagine a situation. Let's say you're driving and you accidentally
hit your neighbor's trash can and it dents the front of your car and cracks your windshield.
Okay. It's not ideal, but it's kind of worse than that, right? Like this is a big deal.
You have to get it fixed. It's probably going to be really expensive. And it was all your fault.
And it was kind of a dumb thing too, right? So when you're telling someone what happened,
they might say, that's not ideal. This is very sarcastic, because of course
it's not ideal. This is so obvious, right? That's not ideal. Notice the tone of my voice, the look
on my face. I'm saying it in a sarcastic way. I'm saying, "Yeah, that was a bad thing that happened.
But I'm going to say it a little sarcastically." Yeah. That's not ideal. You shouldn't have done
that. That was kind of dumb. So it can be used sarcastically, too. So just pay attention to
someone's tone of voice. It's discouraging. That's discouraging. My date said he would call me,
but it's been two weeks. It's discouraging. This is the 10th date that hasn't called me back.
It's discouraging. This is especially true if you are hoping for something good and then, ugh,
it's so discouraging. Or if you bought some lottery tickets and you were hoping
that you would win and you hear them call the winning lottery numbers and they're not yours,
you could say, ugh, that's so discouraging. I buy lottery tickets every day and I still haven't
won. Hmm. Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't buy lottery tickets. Well, personal choice.
The next set of three words is very casual. Don't use this in the workplace, but
in other situations, it's fine. You could say, nuts. Crap. Dang it. Has this ever happened
to you? You thought you were putting sugar in your food. Maybe it's your tea or your coffee,
or even a cake that you're making. And then you look and say, "Ah, crap, it's salt."
You don't want to substitute salt for sugar. Ugh. So you can use these for
minor inconveniences. Ah, nuts. This is very polite, more polite. Then we have
crap. That's what I say the most. And then there's dang it, which is a euphemism.
This means a slightly kinder or softer word instead of saying a bad word, which is
damn it. So if you put salt in your tea instead of sugar, you can say, dang it. And it's
okay to say that with children or maybe with your family. If you don't want your kids to repeat it,
well, maybe don't say it around them, but it is certainly much nicer than the swear word.
Another casual expression is, oh man. This is especially when you're disappointed.
You might say, "Oh man, I ordered a burger and fries and they gave me a salad instead.
Oh man." Let's say it's the beginning of winter. This has happened to me many times.
I open up my drawer of sweaters and I pick up my favorite sweater. Oh, man, there's a little
hole in it. How did that happen? I didn't touch it all winter. Oh man, this is disappointing.
The next one is also casual. That sucks. This is also kind of a little bit rude, I would say. When
I was a kid, my parents told me that's not a nice word. Don't say it. But as an adult, people use
it pretty flippantly. That means casually and comfortably all the time. So I would say avoid
it at work, but with friends or with family, it's okay. If you're a kid, it's not really
that great. But if you're an adult, it's fine. Let's imagine that you're watching your favorite
football team in the championship and they lose. You say, "Ah, my favorite team lost. That sucks."
You're disappointed. You could also use this to potentially comfort someone. So if your friend
is hoping to get a promotion, you could say, "Ah, I'm sorry, you didn't get the promotion you
wanted. That sucks. I hope you get it next time." So it seems like it could be used for really
shallow situations. Your team losing. Maybe that's very serious for you.
Or for more serious situations, too, to express care and empathy. Oh man, that sucks. I'm sorry.
It's a bummer. That's a bummer. I use this one a lot. Let's say you want to go to the
beach and it's raining. Ugh. That's a bummer. You booked this trip. You were so excited and now it's
going to rain all week. Sorry. That's a bummer. The next one is a fun one. Oh, come on, seriously?
You can use this when you are annoyed and frustrated. Let's imagine. You might say,
"Ugh, come on. Seriously? I break down in the middle of nowhere and then it starts to rain
and I'm late for my job interview? Ugh, come on. Seriously?" You are questioning the motives
of the universe. Ugh. Come on, seriously? I would recommend not saying this to other
people and only saying this to you yourself, because if you said this to someone else, let's
imagine that your coworker spills coffee on her white shirt and it's messy all day. You wouldn't
want to say to her, "Oh, come on, seriously?" Because you would be telling her, "You are
such a clumsy person. Why do you do that?" It's quite negative. You're telling the other person,
"You're a bad person." That's not so nice. But you can say it to yourself. Oh, come on. Seriously?
Why did this happen to me? Come on, seriously. Another fun one is, you've got to be kidding me.
You got to be kidding me. They fired you because your classes were too
fun? You've got to be kidding me. This might or might not have happened to me.
You've got to be kidding me. Or what about this situation? She broke up with you because she said
her cat didn't like you? You've got to be kidding me. Can you see in all of these situations,
you are shocked. You are outraged. You've got to be kidding me. This is a phrase that you can say
to someone else, if you want to share their shock. So if your friend says, "Yeah, he broke up with
me because he said his cat didn't like me." You can reply. "You've got to be kidding me. That's
the most shallow reason to break up with someone. What was he thinking? You got to be kidding me."
Before we go to our seriously difficult situation expressions, let's talk about
one final melodramatic phrase. Why, God? Why? So this one, you can sense the drama.
Let's imagine that you, like I mentioned before, accidentally put salt into your
tea instead of sugar, but you also have woken up late. You have a job interview.
You're just feeling generally pretty bad. You woke up on the wrong side of the bed and then
you put salt into your tea. You might say, "Why God, why? Why is everything going wrong today?"
You're kind of appealing to the universe. Why, why is everything against me today? So make sure
you use this one for not so serious situations, but just when you want to be overly dramatic.
And now let's go on to some phrases you can use for seriously difficult situations, whether it's
to talk about yourself or to comfort someone else and to talk about what they're going through.
It's too bad. That's too bad. You lost your job? That's too bad. That doesn't mean you did
something wrong. It just means in general, I am sympathizing with your hard time. That's too bad.
Now just a little note, this can be used a sarcastic tone of voice. So let's take a look
at this situation. Let's say you're talking about a couple and you hear that they have broken up.
You might say, "Oh, they broke up. That's too bad." Okay. Well you can see by my face,
I'm not exactly devastated about this news. Possibly I predicted that they would break up,
or possibly I am interested in one of those people who is now newly single. So you might say, "Oh,
that's too bad that they broke up." So your words and your tone of voice are very different. So this
is something you need to watch out for in English, is when someone's tone doesn't match their words.
Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I got a big smile on my face. So I'm not really sad.
I'm just saying the thing that's socially appropriate, but really that's not how I feel.
It's a shame. That's a shame. She wanted to be a professional figure skater and then
she broke her leg. Ugh, that's a shame. It's just something that's disappointing and sad.
Possibly life changing or just a big roadblock. You might say, he wanted to be a lawyer and then
he didn't pass the bar exam and he just gave up. He decided not to take it again. That's a shame.
It's a pity. That's a pity. It's a pity you have to move away for your new job. I was
really loving being your neighbor. You can't have cats in your apartment? Ugh. That's such
a pity. I know how much you love your cats. So here in this situation, it's pretty serious,
right? Well, either someone's moving away, they can't keep their pet or in the previous
expression, it's a shame, it's quite serious as well. So these two, make sure you don't use in
lighthearted situations. It's a shame or it's a pity or for serious things. It's awful.
That's awful. Ugh. He asked for a divorce on your anniversary? That's awful. I'm so sorry. It's very
strong, very serious and pretty big thing, huh? You could also say, I spilled coffee on my shirt.
I was late on the way to work and I got fired. That's awful. Yes. This is really, truly awful.
The final three expressions are for extremely serious situations. You can say, it's devastating.
That's devastating. To be devastated means you can kind of imagine you're completely just on
the floor. You can't move for weeks. Everything in your life is terrible, or there's something that's
so bad that you can't function normally. It's devastating. So if someone that you love dies,
it's devastating. Maybe if someone tells you about some really tragic thing that happened to them.
"Yeah, my grandma died and she was just totally fine. And she,
all of a sudden," and they tell you the story, you could say, "Oh, that's devastating. I'm so sorry."
So you're using this word in the accurate situation, where there is something that is
completely difficult for someone else and you are acknowledging that, and that might make them feel
validated or heard. And it can be good to use this word only in very serious situations. Ugh.
It's devastating. I can't believe that this happened. If someone tells you something tragic,
let's imagine that same situation that someone's grandma dies. What can you say? The most common
thing to say is, "I'm so sorry to hear that." I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I
can help you with? Hey, can I bring you some food tomorrow? I'm so sorry to hear that.
But you could also add on to this. I'm so sorry to hear that your grandma died. I'm so sorry to hear
that you have to move to another state and you really don't want to. I'm so sorry to hear that,
plus the thing. This is great to write in a card, too, because often in these devastating or tragic
situations, we write a letter or write a card to someone and give it to them. Those are the special
moments when something physical really touches and means a lot. So this is a good expression you can
write. I'm sorry to hear that your grandmother passed away. I'd like to stop by tomorrow and
bring you some food. This is great. So kind. Our final expression for talking about difficult
situations is, "I can't imagine." Now, this is short for a fuller expression. I can't imagine
what it must feel like to have your grandmother die. Of course you don't understand because it's
not your grandmother. You haven't been in that situation. But to say that full expression is
less common. It's more common to just say, "Oh, I can't imagine. It must be really tough
for you right now. I'd like to help bring you some food tomorrow." Or, "Can I walk your dog
for you?" I can't imagine. Let me help you. Oh man, this lesson this kind of a bummer, right?
Well, I hope that I can help you in these difficult times because you know what?
Sometimes things that are shame or even things that are devastating, they happen in daily life,
and we need to be able to express them and talk about them. And we need to be able to
empathize with other people who have difficult things happening to them. So I have a question
for you. Let me know in the comments, if I told you that I failed a test and then broke my arm,
what would you say to me? Which one of these expressions would you use
to empathize with my difficult situation? Well, don't forget to download today's for
PDF with all of these bummer expressions, but quite useful and necessary. Make sure
you download the free PDF worksheet so that you can accurately use these in daily life, and you
can see all of the sample sentences and answer Vanessa's challenge question at the bottom of the
worksheet. There's a link in the description. You can click that to download the worksheet today.
Well, thank you so much for learning English with me, and I will see you again next Friday
for a new lesson that's less sad here on my YouTube channel. Bye. The next step is
to download the free PDF worksheet for this lesson. With this free PDF, you will master
today's lesson and never forget what you have learned. You can be a confident English speaker.
Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for a free English lesson every Friday. Bye.