- Hey player.
Have you ever wanted to walk up to your crush
and talk to them but you held yourself back,
because you didn't know what you were gonna say
after you said hello?
Don't worry.
In this video I'm going to share a view things
that you can talk to them about,
to get the ball rolling so you don't
hold yourself back anymore.
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When it comes to walking up to and talking to your crush,
in the past I've talked about using the 3-second rule,
which basically means give yourself no more than 3 seconds
to walk up to your crush and talk to them when you see them.
Basically what that means is that you're walking down
the hall, you spot your crush and go one, two, three
and then walk right up to them
and the reason why you would do this
is because you're pushing yourself to actually go after it.
Normally when you're in that moment and you see your crush,
you start to overthink things.
You think is this the right time to talk to them,
are they gonna think I'm annoying or awkward or weird,
what am I gonna say?
All these questions fill up your head
and hold you back from doing it
and as you're walking towards your crush,
your initial thought is gonna be, "Okay,
"I'm going to say hi to them, but then what do I say"?
So, here's what I've learned has worked over the years.
Bring up something circumstantial.
A circumstantial topic is something that's relevant
to the both of you, for example,
maybe you both are in a same class so you're preparing
for a test, or maybe it's getting to Halloween season
and you want to ask a Halloween question.
Talking about something that both of you have
some type of experience or knowledge about
is gonna make it a whole lot easier to start.
Plus, when you ask a circumstantial question,
it doesn't outright look like you're
walking up to your crush to flirt with them,
it just looks like you're just a person
asking them a question, so it totally comes off as normal.
Here are a few examples for you to try out,
feel free to modify them depending on where you are,
school, work or wherever.
Hey, I wanted to get your opinion on something.
We both have this major test coming up so, I was wondering,
would you be interested in forming a study group
with a bunch of kids from the class
so that we can have a better chance at passing?
Hey, quick question, if you were going to a Halloween party,
does it make more sense to wear a mask where it might
look scarier but it's harder to talk to people,
or to just wear face paint but it doesn't look as scary?
Hey, I need a girls perspective on something.
My friends birthday is coming up
and I'm not really sure what to get her.
If someone had to give you a gift that would wow
and surprise you, what would they get you?
Having a reason for walking up to someone and
talking to them lowers their defenses,
it starts to pull them away from the thought process of,
"Why is this person here and what do they want", and
starts to fill in those gaps so that
they can feel more comfortable talking to you.
Now as that conversation carries on,
it's important for you to establish markers along the way.
Now these markers are gonna let that person know
that you're sticking around in that conversation because
you're intrigued and interested in what they have to say.
An example of that might be saying something like
"You're pretty cool, I didn't know that about you", or,
"Wow, you're a really interesting person.
"I'm glad I talked to you."
Statements like that should come from a genuine place,
don't just say them to say them but
genuinely listen to that person, hear what they have to say
and if you're interested in what they're saying,
or interested in them as a person, express that to them,
and as you place more of these markers along
the conversation it shows that other person that you aren't
just there to ask the question and leave
but you're staying in the conversation, you're continuing
to talk to them because there's something there
that's growing between you two.
But the most important marker for you to establish with them
is some type of call to action.
Now basically what that means is that at the
end of the conversation, or somewhere towards the end of it,
you wanna let them know that this is not the last time
the two of you are gonna interact.
Because you're intrigued and interested in them as a person,
you definitely want to carry forward.
Now to do this you might want to say something like,
"Wow, you're a really cool person,
"we definitely have to talk more often", or something like,
"Wow, I never knew that about you.
"I'm definitely gonna come to you more so we can talk."
Statements like that help set up the
next conversation with that person.
It's letting them know that you're gonna walk up to them and
talk to them again and that way the defenses can be down
because they're expecting it and to lock things in even more
you might even wanna ask them for their Instagram or
Snapchat or phone number.
The whole point there is to show them that you're
really interested in who they are as a person and
you definitely want to get to know them better,
but now I want to know what do you think?
What do you feel is holding you back
from talking to your crush?
Leave it down in the comment section below.
The learning doesn't end there though.
I've put together a free guide of
20 ice breaker conversation starters that you can use to
kinda get the ball rolling when you're talking to someone.
So, check it out right here and check out the playlist
right below to watch more videos on
how to have great conversations.
On that note guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.