The hard-working type that leads a life of humility and grace.. It’s not surprising that
the empathic INFJ can end up triggering deep and unexpected envy from those around them.
Whether this jealousy is used as a self-motivator or a reason to resent
the INFJ entirely, what is it about this type that makes them so enviable?
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Alright, let’s get right into what exactly causes the INFJ to bend their rules. Starting with..
Number 1: They’re almost always cool, calm and collected
Chill, mellow, reserved, and mysterious, INFJs are often seen as the agreeable and relaxed one of the
group. Also known as the mediator or the mystic personality type, no matter the circumstances
the INFJ is always the peacemaker, the problem solver and the unflappable one of the situation.
And while this may not seem like a particularly enviable trait,
one would be surprised by how many people resort to panic when the simplest of things don’t get
the way they initially expected. In a world riddled with anxiety, restlessness and fear,
sensing an aura of unwavered calmness from someone can be rather refreshing and reassuring.
However, the people who have a natural habit of resorting to a victim mentality
with a difficulty in breaking things down into more attainable understandings can end
up perceiving this connectedness as a false tactic. Rooted in envy, they may question the
very authenticity of the INFJ’s undisturbed nature, writing it off as simply impossible.
Number 2: They’re always striving to better themselves through self discipline
Ironically, to the INFJ, this personal habit can be rather tortuous at times. With the inability
to ever be completely content with who they are and where they’re at in life, INFJ’s can’t help
but to continuously better themselves in at least one aspect of life at all times.
However, on the outside looking in, this ambitious and self-driven characteristic of someone with the
INFJ personality type can certainly trigger feelings of envy in others. For example,
the INFJ may be in the best physical shape in the opinion of others but still strive to eat
the healthiest diet and stay on a strict fitness regime. They may have a fulfilling
and communicative romantic relationship, but still continue to try and find ways to
spice things up. Or, they may have an excellent degree in their field of work, but still strive
to keep up to date on the latest certificates, courses and training to progress their knowledge.
Whatever it is, the aspiring and self-disciplined side of the INFJ can
certainly trigger passive aggressive comments and the occasional eye-roll here and there.
Number 3: Everything they do is through their best efforts
Speaking of the high standards the INFJ holds themselves to when it comes to self-mastery,
because of this at-time challenging quality, they tend to only display the best work they
produce. Considering they put their whole heart and soul into everything they feel
passionate enough to achieve in life, they can end up coming across as a high-achiever in one
way or another. Whether it’s in the workplace, in a learning setting, in their personal goals
of health or even when it comes to how much effort they put into their relationships,
some people can begin questioning their lack of effort when they witness this innate INFJ quality.
In fact, the jealousy people have towards this INFJ self-standard isn’t only due to
the fact that they wish they had the same high-achieving desires,
but it’s the fact this personality type is able to strive with grace and humility. They’re
not putting in their best efforts in hopes of impressing others, or to achieve status and power.
Rather, they do their best because it’s in their very nature to do so. Which brings us too..
Number 4: They talk their achievements down
When referring to this personality type’s modesty, some people can envy the very fact
that INFJs don’t even know how good they really are. With regards to their talents, the strengths
they bring to friendships and team settings, the common sense they hold in everyday scenarios,
and even the deep understanding they hold for others’ feelings, some people notice the INFJ’s
powers far beyond what the INFJ acknowledges about themselves. And even for the qualities the
INFJ knows they bring to the table, they’d be the last people to rub it in the face of others. Since
they’re not about self-boasting and much rather remain behind the scenes as opposed to being
admired in the spotlight, the INFJ’s strengths never come with a distasteful aura. In fact,
if through their extroverted feeling function, the INFJ notices that someone may be feeling envious
of their achievements or talents, they’ll more than likely take appropriate action to make them
seem easily attainable. For example, if someone were to subtly communicate their feelings of
jealousy towards a job the INFJ has landed, the INFJ may go off on a tangent about how anybody
could get the job they got and that it was simply a matter of luck. When in reality, they have the
specific strengths and determination required. Number 5: They usually live a balanced life
With work, obligations and family life often getting the best of people’s time
for doing things for themselves, the INFJ’s priority for personal care and personal time
can have some people questioning where they went wrong in their own lives.
Now, of course, this idealistic priority doesn’t always take form in the quantity or quality the
INFJ wants, but for the most part, their need for solitude can trigger significant envy in
those who are running around without a minute to their name. The ironic thing is that, once again,
most INFJs feel as if they have no choice but to make time for themselves. Without the necessary
time to recharge, reflect and rejuvenate, the INFJ will find themselves on the fast track to
serious mental burnout. They simply cannot handle as much hustle and bustle as the average person,
and because of that, they’re met with the choice of picking and choosing the
way they spend precious hours very carefully. Sometimes this even results in them needing
to set boundaries around how much time they spend with certain people and in the hobbies they enjoy.
So, while it may seem all fine and dandy from an outer perspective, INFJs can actually end
up slightly envious of the fact that others can have a lively social life without repercussions.
Number 6: They’re guided by altruism rather than obligations
Selflessness and empathy can trigger funny feelings in those who don’t run on the same
values. As a matter of fact, sometimes the rules the INFJ lives by are not considered
values at all, but rather just the result of their cognitive functions.
Due to their unique mix of introverted intuition, extroverted feeling, introverted thinking and
extroverted sensing functions, most INFJs are captivated by higher purpose and deeper meaning.
Especially when on the topic of the major life sectors of career, relationships and living
circumstances, INFJs aren’t motivated by feeling obligated or pressed to follow social norms.
They don’t usually work solely for the sake of money, nor do they hold onto falsely founded
relationships for the sake of avoiding loneliness. They wouldn’t move out of their loving parent’s
home at an early age before they could afford it simply because that’s what’s expected of
them by others. To put it simply, they don’t make life choices for the sake of status,
impressing others or for the means of finding happiness outside of themselves. Instead,
INFJs have a realness about them that allows them to follow their dreams and their dreams only.
And usually, these dreams have a lot to do with making a difference in the world.
And lastly..
Number 7: They seem to never make mistakes
Some sources say that INFJs are known for their clumsy behavior, but we’d have to disagree.
While they certainly make mistakes just as often as every other human, they’re much more careful
in their planning and predicting. Not only does this innate sense of organization in life allow
them to limit the amount of witnessed mistakes they make, but it also gives them the future
projection of avoiding negative outcomes to their choices. In fact, INFJs are considered
one of the least adventurous types due to them requiring some sort of plan of action in almost
every endeavor they set out on. One INFJ blogger explained this aspect of themselves perfectly by
saying “I see questions from time to time asking about INFJ clumsiness. People who barely know
me would not call me clumsy; I almost never make these kinds of mistakes. But the reason for that
is I plan my entire life carefully because I know that if I don’t, I will literally walk into every
wall and trip on every stair. They think I’ve got it together, but I don’t.” This sense of poise
and coordination can trigger envy..but for the most part, it’s all a well-thought-out scheme.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, as an INFJ, do you think you’ve ever triggered envy in
someone in your life? Let us know in the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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