If a person's upbringing is an indication of their future, Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson
may be facing an uphill climb.
Growing up in a household where eating "sketti and ketchup" with Mountain Dew and Red Bull
was the norm, she became a reality TV star as the world delighted in morbid curiosity
at her family's antics.
And that's barely scraping the surface of why Honey Boo Boo could be looking back at
a life of regret.
"Those other girls must be crazy if they think they're gonna beat me, honey boo boo child!"
Growing up on TV
Combining her family's questionable lifestyle with Alana's precociousness, TLC knew they
had struck working class gold for their hit show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
From their wacky diet, to their Southern twang, this show became a spinoff success from Toddlers
& Tiaras.
TLC brought Honey Boo Boo to millions of Americans' TV screens during her formative years.
Which means from the age of seven, the beauty queen had gotten nothing but positive reinforcement
for participating in the some of the most non-complementary representations of American
culture.
That might be tough to reverse, but we're hoping she can pull it off.
Dangerous scandal
After it became apparent that Honey Boo Boo's mom, June Shannon, allowed a convicted sex
offender near her children — and possibly dated him — TLC pulled the plug on the family's
gravy train, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
Mama June maintained her innocence and even threatened to sue TLC, making it unlikely
that any other network would ever risk putting them back on the air.
Fortunately for Mama June, she found a new home in WE tv, which helped craft her reality
TV resurrection.
Honey Boo Boo could really use a solo gig to get a little distance from her family,
but at this point that would likely require legal emancipation from her mom — a stressful
situation we wouldn't wish on anyone.
Mom stole the spotlight
After several years out of the spotlight, interrupted only briefly by a stint on WE
tv's Marriage Boot Camp, the network greenlit Mama June: From Not To Hot, the series documenting
her 300-pound weight loss.
And while Mama June's decision to get healthy is admirable, as BuzzFeed points out, it was
also likely a calculated attempt at shedding the controversy surrounding her relationship
scandals.
Not to mention, the new show places Honey Boo Boo, who was previously the star, in the
backseat.
Now 11 years old, this little girl has to deal with a fame downgrade.
Health concerns
Thanks to her family's poor decision-making, Honey Boo Boo is probably the most public
face of America's childhood obesity crisis.
"She has respiratory issues..."
"Corn dogs!"
"She's on a lot of steroids everyday."
"Deep-fried turkey!"
At over 120 pounds, she's already struggling to lose weight, which Mama June shared in
a since-deleted Instagram post.
Even though Mama June parlayed her own weightloss journey into a new angle for Honey Boo Boo's
reality TV comeback, her daughter wants no part of it.
In a clip from Mama June: From Not To Hot, Honey Boo Boo adamantly rejects any healthful
living, saying:
"I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, unless it has, like, cheeseburgers and stuff, so..."
On top of that, one of the show's other exploitative plot points is that Honey Boo Boo's new stepmom,
Jennifer, encourages her poor eating habits.
Add to that, body-shaming, bullying, and a relentless amount of public pressure to shed
the weight, and there exists a psychological strain that would burden any adult, no less
a child.
Thankfully, Honey Boo Boo is still young, which means she still has time to get healthy.
Her debut single
Honey Boo Boo recorded the song "Movin' Up" with producer Adam Barta, featuring most of
her family.
It's an objectively bad song made by a man who has created a cottage industry recording
questionable tracks and accompanying music videos with reality TV stars.
Let's take a closer look at that "producer" Barta.
This is the man who also recorded a track for Patricia "Tan Mom" Krentcil, as well as
a songs with Teen Mom stars Farrah Abraham and her mom, Debra.
We'll let his resume speak for himself on this one.
Money
According to Mama June, Honey Boo Boo's reality TV money is being kept safely in a trust,
which is a good thing since one of the young star's famous catchphrases is:
"Dollar make me holler, Honey Boo Boo."
But even if Mama June doesn't swipe Honey Boo Boo's money, like older sister Anna alleges
she did with hers, that eventual payout might be tough to handle.
Have you ever seen an adorable kid star — urged into fame by their parents — lose their
mind the second they got free of them, and got their money?
Honey Boo Boo should use Corey Feldman as a cautionary tale, and head straight to a
meeting with a financial planner.
Earning respect
Many reality TV stars face serious challenges in earning respect from their audience.
Much like point-and-laugh shows like Jersey Shore, Flavor of Love and The Simple Life,
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was viewed as mindless entertainment.
"I don't smell. You wanna smell?"
"I don't care."
"I hadn't took a bath for two weeks!"
"Yuck. She hadn't took a bath in two weeks!"
So, while it may seem innocent enough to laugh at an oddball American family, the reality
is that a little girl started her career as the butt of everyone's joke.
And while that may be good for short-term success, considering how many people have
laughed at her, and not with her, little Alana has a long road ahead in order to be taken
seriously.
Child star
Finding success at a very young age can be tough.
Just ask people like Tatum O'Neal or Danny Bonaduce, who went from seriously cute, to
seriously troubled — in the blink of an eye.
Of course that doesn't mean Alana is guaranteed a tragic future.
For every Tatum O'Neal, there's a Jodie Foster.
But for the moment, American audiences know one version of Alana: a goofy, overweight
little girl from the South with a crazy family — meaning that Alana will soon need to be
strategic about managing her image.
With a full-family weight loss show supposedly already in talks, it's looking like reality
TV producers are angling for more exposure.
That's an incredible amount of pressure for anyone at any age, and the fact that it currently
rests on the shoulders of child is all the more troubling.
Her 15 minutes
Though horrifying, the scandal that caused TLC to pull the plug on Here Comes Honey Boo
Boo sped up an inevitable conclusion: that some day, American audiences would eventually
grow tired of watching that show.
Many reality TV stars have since become aware of their short shelf lives, which is why you
see people like Snooki, Bethenny Frankel or the Kardashians turn their 15 minutes of fame
into a legitimate, money-making empire.
Even if the Honey Boo Boo gang had taken their fame seriously, and leverage their show into
a brand, their messy personal lives were destined to turn from funny to sad.
In other words: their time is up.
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