all right a ton of you begged me to watch this show you over on Netflix so
that's exactly what Tristin and I did last night so let's talk about it what
is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired saw where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel black channel
is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from
the YouTube community or pop culture in general like Netflix to try to teach you
how to improve your mental and emotional well-being so the end of that stuff make
sure you subscribe and bring that notification bell and quick announcement
for all of you beautiful patrons out there make sure you go check out the
patreon page because there's some updates on there I'm trying to get in
the rest of the questions for this month's Q&A so if you haven't yet go
over there and ask your questions and do the other stuff I posted all right
but anyways anyways so yeah I've gotten a ton of requests a ton of requests to
talk about you on Netflix and I'm an addict and once I start watching
something I get into it so I've been so I'd like dedicate blocks of time anyways
there won't really be too many spoilers in this this is more so going to be me
using examples from episode one so twisting and I are like episode four I
think I think right and so forth so don't you spoil it for me down in the
comments below anyway I want to intertwine this with a topic that's also
very fascinating to me which is r/niceguys top posts of all time on reddit so any of you who watch channels
like cuestar or sorrow TV you know exactly what I'm talking about but I
want to relate the one of the main characters Joe to r/niceguys right so
those of you who don't know what nice guys are you've probably run into them
okay you've both run into them I've made a video a long time ago about
confessions of a former nice guy all right and real quickly
disclaimer real quick disclaimer I had no way shape or form and am saying that
nice guys are dangerous but I've been meaning to make videos about this
because there's a potential there like and once you see what I'm about to read
you'll explain why or you'll see why so anyways for those who don't know about
nice guys I went over to read it pulled up one of the top post and here's
an example guy do you want to date me hey
freaking answer B word and she says please never contact me again and he
says what the f all I asked was for you to date me you didn't answer and she's
like I already have a boyfriend and you know that and he's like you mean that
blank guy he's such a jerk I don't get why you like him you deserve
someone better and she says lmao as in you you keep insulting me do you really
think it makes me want to date you and here's here's where it gets good dudes
like I'm a nice guy I would treat you like a princess but no you just have to
go with that other dumb guy and she says yes because that's totally what some
someone nice would say I'm blocking you he says effing not nice girl but you
guys can see it up on the screen anyways like something about nice guys is is
there's there's delusion there's a huge huge lack of self-awareness what
fascinates me too is this this is just something I'm thinking about
I'm imagine how many nice guys are watching this show over on Netflix and
they're in complete denial like they're watching it like well this guy Joe he's
really creepy I don't get it right like it reminds me of back when I was in my
active drug addiction and alcoholism and I would watch that show intervention and
I'd be like whoa those people are messed up right there's this huge lack of
self-awareness by the way that's one of the reasons why I use youtubers as
examples to talk to you because some of you are watching youtubers thinking
about how messed up their life is when you're living the exact same way
alright but anyways um Joe is similar to a nice guy
and those of you who haven't watched the show yet again no real spoilers just
kind of the synopsis of it from the start first episode Joe works in a
bookstore back is the female main character she comes in and he's just
boom infatuated with her he loved the first side type of thing and it gets
just kind of creepy and he starts stalking her right but it's an
interesting show because it's pretty much all from the perspective of Joe
right the stalker and it's just super creepy and all these other things anyway
so unlike episode 4 it's really good so far like just real quick critique like
there's a major plot holes and stuff where you like oh come on really
anyway it's a good show so far and twist and I are gonna watch some more episodes
after this but look at the first episode like Joe definitely seems like a nice
guy and don't get me wrong there are nice girls too so in this video I just
want you to kind of look for the signs or even understand some of the thought
process and psychology of this other person not saying that's right please
like I said a lot of it is delusion and lack of self-awareness so when they
first meet in the bookstore you hear Joe's narrative right and what nice guys
tend to do is they look for science where there are not signs all right
so Joe as he's talking to back he's like oh you're doing this like you know to
flirt with me or to do this or do that like you want me to notice you and all
of this and then when Joe actually goes and like starts his like stalking it
finds out where she lives and he goes through like her social
media and oh you want this like that right and like this is part of the
psychology of nice guys they're sitting there and they're turning
they're turning very small insignificant things into signs like you're doing this
for me like Donna from psych IRL actually just did a video the other day
about the whole James Charles stalker situation that happen to other youtubers
I forgot what terms you use for it but like there's just there's this this
thing where people like see signs where like oh they're sending like messages
straight to me right and that's really not the case and this is what a lot of a
lot of nice guys are doing and it's it's totally it's totally unfair to the other
person right because especially in the culture that we live in today and you
know whatever it is like there's a lot of people out there who like
oh well you know like victim-blaming if you will like oh well if you didn't want
me to notice you why would you leave your Instagram profile public and let
all these other things it's like what really what's actually interesting too
is if you watch my my video about jenna Marbles and Julianne is that I talked
about the experiment from dr. Daniel Simmons which is selective attention
right and in that video I discussed how it's been proven that our brain sees
what we train it to see so if you are infatuated with somebody or if
somebody's infatuated with you if they are purposely looking for science and
trying to look for those signs what they're doing is they're rewiring their
brain in a negative way to only see the good things so by the way if this
happens to any of you and I know I have many viewers who struggle with like
borderline personality disorder and things like that like if you struggle
with any of the issues that I just talked about this is why you need a
support group this is why you need to talk to people right like you need to
like ask your friends like yo dude you think she's flirting with me or hey girl
you think he's flirting with me or whatever you're into oh hey that's why
you bounce things off because somebody would say no I think she just doesn't
know how to put blinds up on her window
Cody because if you're training your brain to see these signs that's all
you're gonna notice and it puts you in this delusional state so another common
symptom of nice guys is when Joe finds out about Benji so also an episode one
were introduced to the character Benji Benji is this kind of dumb rich guy
player or whatever when we first meet him he had just like been cheating on
back or whatever and you know so so what nice guys do like Joe this scenario he
keeps thinking about like why are you dating this type of guy why are you
doing this like a lot of guys who get quote-unquote friendzone there's
thinking about that they're saying they're watching all the times you've
been hurt or whatever it is right so the city they're seeing had poorly Benji's
treating her and he thinks that he's gonna come in and save the day like
here's a thing this is this is partially a sign of codependency - like it is not
your job to run around saving anybody and let me tell you like
I like I said I made a video confessions of a former nice guy like from from what
I learned like for those of you who see my video about why you date who you date
like I was looking for people to save that's what my brain was focused on and
that's not healthy that is not healthy when I met my beautiful girlfriend
Tristan she didn't need to be saved healthy relationship so if you're
looking for someone to save be careful be very careful about that
like humans are not projects people don't need to be saved
we're actually watching that show love after lockup Tristan is the new episode
of love after lockup on okay we're gonna find out after that but there's a guy I
love after lockup right now and this whole thing is like he wants to save
this girl I'm like oh dude you are no good actually most the guys on there
like that really weird but anyways this is another
symptom of nice guys but they also create this this imaginary world in
their head where they are going to just make this girl's life perfect and and
they obsess on that right but again like I showed you from that reddit post
there's a lot or there's a huge lack of self awareness where where they don't
balance out where they can't see that like something that I've noticed about
nice guys is this issue with not only self-awareness but emotional regulation
so I wonder what would happen if a bunch of nice guys started to meditate and
strengthen their prefrontal cortex which is responsible for self-awareness
impulse control and emotional regulation you know what I mean because they fly
off the handle they start off being nice they start name-calling and all these
other things so that's the other thing that's interesting about Joe is like so
any of you watching or wondering or wanting to make videos about this like
this is just a fictional TV show like Joe he's he's a psychopath you know what
I mean like most people who have the same symptoms as Joe would not be able
to keep it together like that the way he is so he's pretty psychotic
anyways anyways if you would like me to do more videos about nice guys or nice
girls let me know down in the comments below because I think there's a lot that
we can learn and warning signs to look for for out there
in the dating world or whatever it is all right let me know if you're watching
you but if you do don't spoil the show for me or anybody else all right
anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a
thumbs up if you do make sure you subscribe and bring that notification
bell because I make a ton of videos and here's huge thank you to everybody
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like to become a patron click the top right there alright thanks so much for
watching I'll see you next time