what's your name oh hi hi how are you this is todd nice to see you which of the following
demonstration sports would you like to see in the next olympics pay attention well i'm going
to give you a list drunken ski jump what do you think no all right frozen pond diving if they
had a lot of safety there it would be nice to see but if only if they had a lot of fishy aids and
it's a very thoughtful answer hockey for bald guys and our final question do you have any old skis
or skates you could donate to the olympic team also mittens or hats i'm going to ask you just
one more time think take a quiet moment here think carefully do you have any old mittens or old hats
no we'll take huh um um no after we have it once we grow we donate to charities we donated all of
ours to charities already all right i believe you i don't want to find out later that you're lying
i don't want to come by here later you and your family crying on old mittens and hats
i enjoyed talking with you thank you very much oh that's not a chance in hell this will ever be on
good night sir thanks for your time bye-bye how cold do you think it is right now in norway
i don't know i can find out for you mom it's four degrees david i'm dave letterman how are you what
what's your name ma'am evelyn kevin evelyn nice to see you what are you doing tonight are you
busy are we interrupting anything not at all would you like to come in well well sure thanks evan you
know that ice dancing oh yeah don't don't you just melt when they dance that uh tango romantica well
i enjoy i don't know what it is exactly the same thing i've seen the russians romantically romantic
what olympic event involves two people a bottle of windex and a car
two people windex and a car
i have no idea olympic squeegee guy competition
would you like to hit me as hard as you can with a lead pipe
you're a very nice woman would it be all right if i watch the olympics with you
sirley we'd love to have you my husband and i oh great thank you very much
your boyfriend's here what's the deal on your boyfriend what's what's his name
what's he doing right now sleeping he's asleep
he does it all the time can we take a look do you mind let's take a look at dave
you might want to look for a pulse
name the biggest hazard for speed skaters think about it think of it no well very good very good
could you ski on over here are those long skis or short skis i don't know the reason
i asked if they were short skis when i was a kid my next door neighbors were named schwarzki
helen and edgar schwartzke
short skis oh my how fast do you think speed skaters can go at top speed 40 40. how fast do
you think i can go on the merit parkway at top speed i don't know like 80 120.
look it's an electric light up snowman you know we've done this joke a million
times and we don't care we're going to do it again
geez i hope this thing is grounded here i'd hate to get electrocuted
spell the word gillully
good luck would you shave your beard for a hundred dollars how long have you had the beard
20 40 60 80 100 bucks i just gave you a hundred bucks don't be scared
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