- Heya Playa.
Have you ever set your mind on accomplishing something
only to have it not work out for you in the end?
You got rejected by someone.
You just failed to deliver.
Either way dealing with those feelings sucks.
But trust me there's a way to work around it.
And I'm gonna share that with you right after this.
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The thing that sucks about getting rejected
is that when it happens over and over.
You start to feel like the problem is just you.
And there isn't really much you can do to change that.
Let's say you ask someone out and they turn you down.
Eh that sucks, okay.
You ask someone else out and they turn you down as well.
Oh okay that sucks too.
You ask someone else out for a third time.
And they turn you down.
Okay at this point you're gonna start feeling like,
hey you should just give up.
There's no point in you trying
because three rejections is enough to tell you
that you suck.
And the problem with that way of thinking
is that even though you've had three individual experiences
you haven't really figured out the solution.
By giving up all you've really done is avoid
answering the question.
Getting rejected and giving up
doesn't really tell you anything about why it happened.
It ignores the vital questions
of what you can do differently next time.
And what exactly happened in that moment.
To make it go from good to bad.
Or let's say you're working really hard.
To bring up your grades so you can apply to a college
that you really want to go to.
But at the end of the day you're grades aren't good enough
and the college just doesn't wanna accept you.
Well you've failed to get into your dream college.
So you're a failure, right?
It's so easy for us to compare ourselves
to these external standards that other people set.
And when we don't meet that criteria.
We feel like failures.
We're not good enough.
Everything we've put in, our blood, sweat, and tears.
Just doesn't matter.
And like I said before with the rejection example.
We're not allowing ourselves to learn and grow
from our experiences.
Instead we're branding ourselves with a big letter F
and just giving up.
And it's not the best way to approach these situations.
So how should you approach them?
The first thing to recognize here
is that there's a difference between rejection and failure.
I break that down a little bit more in my book
Embracing the Awkward.
I have chapters on each of those different topics.
Breaking down how to deal with them.
And basically here's the difference.
To get rejected means that someone else has determined
that you're not good enough for whatever reason.
And to fail means that you've determined
based on someone else's criteria
that you're not good enough for whatever reason.
So what's the solution here?
Well you need to start critically thinking
about what your strengths and weaknesses are.
What are you really good at?
Where do you excel?
And where can you make improvements
so you can learn and grow?
I want you to leave a comment right now.
Letting me know what some of your strengths
and weaknesses are.
But I also think it's super important
to think about the next step.
Which is why you don't succeed.
When you have trouble with something.
It's okay to ask for help.
Far too often people become so prideful.
They're afraid of other people making fun of them
if they ask for help.
They're afraid of looking weak.
Or just looking like they don't know what's going on.
Which trust me,
one of the greatest lessons I've ever learned in life
is that when I have trouble with something,
it's okay to ask for help.
It's only in asking for help that I'm able
to really tackle the problem.
I'm able to first confront it.
And face that it's a real problem.
And then I'm able to turn to the people that care about me
and wanna help me succeed.
To accomplish what I want.
Another very crucial thing that you need to know.
Is that being told no is not the end of the road.
Just because someone rejects you.
Just because you fail at something
doesn't mean you should give up on it.
Now look there's always different kinds of circumstances
that play in.
But for the most part learn from that experience.
Re-approach it.
Ask that person why things didn't work out.
The more you can learn about the situation,
the more you can kinda carry into your next situation.
So that you don't make the same mistake twice.
For example if you're someone that gets rejected a lot.
Maybe it's not that you suck.
Maybe it's your approach that sucks.
Maybe it's when you tell them that you like them.
Maybe it's when you ask them out.
Or maybe it's when you get to know them.
Each of these little things can be tweaked.
And as you tweak them you're gonna see
what you can do to make that situation better the next time.
It's crucial for you to know that you're not always
going to win.
That you're not always going to get what you want.
You're not always gonna be the best.
There will be times where you're gonna take a back seat.
Where you may lose, where you may fail.
But trust me, just because you're in that position,
doesn't mean you're any less than anyone else.
Everyone is trying to learn and grow.
Everyone's trying to succeed.
So recognizing that you're no different.
You're not better or worse than anyone else.
Is the most humbling thing that you can do.
In my book I break down failure and rejection
into their own chapters.
Because I believe that each has their own specific path
that you could take to learn and grow.
So depending on what you left in that comment down below
that's the chapter you should really highlight
and really focus on. If you wanna check out the book.
I'm gonna link it up here on the screen.
You can get it over on Amazon.
And also underneath is a playlist with more videos
on Embracing the Awkward.
Different themes from the book and different ideas
on how to kinda work towards being your best self.
How to succeed at school, life, and relationships.
That's something that you wanna work on?
Check it out guys.
And on that note I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always.
Love and peace.