- Want me to ask if you're gonna to die alone?
Or are we good?
(tense music)
(horses neighing)
(laughing wickedly)
- A weird ghost guy is attacking and complimenting me.
- Shut up Silencio!
(muffled cries)
First up, not a ghost.
Ghost are losers that got murdered.
- There's gotta be another way to get rid of him.
- You could always just marry him
and drive him mad with your in decisiveness.
You know, if you don't sleep for 72 hours
you become clinically insane.
So wakey-wakey, Nutbag.
- Alright, wish me luck.
(crunching wood)
- Good luck.
- Go ruin someone else's life.
- Huh? Okay.
Maybe I will.
- Ow!
(evil laughter)
- Now I feel better.
Dude, decide what you want.
Drink til you have the nerve to go for it
then keep drinking,
so the inevitable rejection doesn't hurt so bad.
I can't believe he called you a worthless
bucktoothed degenerate.
- He didn't say that.
- Doesn't make it any less true.
- This thing better not be a musical.
- No, but it is one of those plays where the actors come
out into the audience and bother people.
- Ooh, Ooh.
That's the only kind of play we have in hell.
- You know what you are?
You're bad through and through from the tip
of your pointy tail to the tips of your point ears.
- Ho ho!
You wanna come at me about some pointy ears?
Have you ever seen your reflection?
- Oh my God.
- Your nose is so beautiful.
Everything is so unreal.
- Just like Elfo's girlfriend.
- How do I look ?
- Wow, like a chipmunk in a discount bad costume.
- Cool.
- That was actually a passive aggressive insult.
You're in hell,
surrounded by treacherous evil demons.
We get promoted for being jerks.
It's kinda like the music industry.
- Ew your bad.
Pick me up at eight.
- I'll be there at 10.
- Okay Elves.
This way for Luci's health care, health care
which is actually slightly less evil
than most healthcare plans.
- Go nerds.
You've been working so hard.
You deserve that sixth cinnamon roll.
- Luci! Luci! Did you have a party without me?
- Yeah, man, I didn't want to wake you
or invite you.
- But I'm your roommate.
- So stay in your room, mate.
- Luci, anything bad happened while I was gone?
- You were gone?
You're all a bunch of stupid, small minded, mouth-breathing,
superstitious ding-dongs
who are completely delusional
and vote against your own self-interest.
So pass around a tub of melted ice cream
for y'all to guzzle down and get fatter and stupider.
I rest my case.
When I got out of hell,
I was stripped my immortality.
I gave it all up for you losers.
I'm telling you now
because I'd like you to die, feeling bad.
- Who's wanting to get lost in a labyrinth.
It's like a puzzle you solve with your feet.
- Hey, what's that light ahead.
It's a way out, of this idiotic conversation.
- Now down on your bellies, your worthless worms
- Calling me a worm offends my eel heritage.
- Quit dithering and start slithering!
(Horse galloping)
- Bow lower
- Even lower.
(bangs on ground) (evil giggle)
- God, I was so naive.
- I would have also accepted stupid, foolish or schmucky.
- Okay, that's enough.
- Oh no.
- Good night, everybody.
I'll be entering your dreams tonight
in the form of a laughing skull.
Yeah, that's great.
(delightful classical music)